3rd Rock from the Sun

(At the jury selection) Lawyer: Do you have any preconceived ideas about big rig trucks? Dick: Yes, I think that anyone who drives one is guilty! Lawyer: You're excused. Dick: ...guilty of bringing the world joy! I love big rigs!

(At the jury selection) Lawyer #1: Do you believe everything you read in the newspaper? Dick: No, of course not. Lawyer #1: Thank you, you're excused. (Later) Lawyer #2: Do you believe everything you read in the newspaper? Dick: Yes, every last word. The newspaper is my Bible. Lawyer #2: Thank you. Dick: You're welcome. Lawyer #2: You're excused. Dick: All right, now it's personal.

(At the jury selection) Prosecuting lawyer: Do you believe everything you read in the newspaper? Dick: Yes! No! I don't know what I believe anymore! You tell me what to believe and I'll do it! Prosecuting lawyer: He's fine with me. Defense lawyer: Me, too.

Dick: Maybe you'll all change your tune when you hear about something called... 'reasonable doubt'. Juror #1: What's the point? Dick: The point is it's reasonable to assume Foster used the money to pay for his daughter's life-threatening operation. Juror #2: No, it isn't. Juror #3: He doesn't have a daughter. Juror #1: It's not reasonable doubt if you just make things up!

Dick: You want the truth? You want the truth? Well, I can't handle the truth!

Dick: Oh, look at him. How much more guilty can you get? I mean, he's got a gun! Juror: That's the bailiff.

Dick: Then what did he do with the money? Juror: He supported a mistress and her family, you heard that testimony. Dick: Listen to you! In an age where most men can't support one family, this man supported two! Send him to jail? Let's send him to Congress!

Dick: Well, Foster said he didn't do it. Are you calling him... and his attorney... a liar?