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Bake Sale Mother: Hello there! I don't believe we've seen you before.
Sally: I don't believe you're blonde.
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Dick: (about art) What makes them strive to create this?
Tommy: Naked women.
Dick: These are not naked women, they're nudes. Nudity is the artist passionate celebration of the human form.
Tommy: Well, party on!
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Mary: From suffering comes creativity. You can't spell "painting" without "pain".
Harry: Or "ting".
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Sally: Hey, Dick, why is it that you see nude people in museums but they never show them on TV?
Dick: Sure they do! But never in comedies, only in dramas and even so when the ratings sack.
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Harry: Oooh, look at this. Here's a job I can do: "Police seek third gunman." Well, tomorrow I'm gonna march right down to the police station and tell them I'm the man they're looking for!
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Sally: What's a bake sale?
Tommy: Oh, it's just an attempt to revive a failing educational system through parent involvement.