Don: Being a cop is no walk in the park. A good day for me means I get to go home alive.
Tommy : Isn't that a good day for anyone?
Dick: How about a new strategy. What about 'sad cop, slightly effeminate cop'?
Officer Don: Sorry I'm late, kids, but I was just involved in one of the world's scariest police chases.
Kid: How did it end?
Officer Don: The guy got away... But, I rolled my car!
Harry: You know, Dick, when life gives you lemons, just shut up and eat the damn lemons.
Dick: Guns don't kill people, physics kills people!