3rd Rock from the Sun

Dick: (to Nina) Who is Mary seeing? Sally: Why don't you ask Tommy? He's at Mary's right now. Dick: What, Tommy's at Mary's? (He slowly realizes) That duplicitous old fart!

Tommy: You know what the Aztecs' problem was? They were at the wrong apex of the technological world arc. Mary: I've never heard of that. Tommy: It's my own theory. You see, technology begins in China in 5,000 BC with literature and architecture and pasta and alcoholic beverages and fireworks. Mary: Would you like an Oreo? Tommy: Oh, thank you. Mary: Go on, this is fascinating. Tommy: So over the centuries, the techno-arc moves through the Middle East, Egypt, Greece, Rome, Florence, Europe, the Americas, until it gets back to the Pacific Rim, but it always travels west. Mary: So you're saying that the Earth's rotation affects civilization. Tommy: Exactly, and every dominant society is in sync with the arc. Mary: And the Aztecs... Tommy: They're off the arc by 2,000 years, and that is why their advancements are never recognized. Mary: You have a very interesting theory. Tommy: Well, for a teenager. Mary: No, for anybody. Most people dismiss non-literate cultures. Tommy: Well, we live in one.

Carl Webber: Sally, it's casual friday. Why are you wearing a bra?

Harry: Now quit your bitchin', and get out of the kitchen!

August: I'm meeting Kevin at the mall. You want to come? Tommy: Sure, that'd be great! Me, my old girlfriend and her new boyfriend cruising the food court, splitting a hot pretzel? No!

Harry: Hey, the TV's off! Dick: I know, I turned it off. Harry: Well, but now it's... off.

Dick: Nina, who is this 'Tom' that Mary keeps talking about? Nina: I don't know, and it's none of my business. Dick: It's none of my business and I'm obsessed with it! Nina: That's typical. Why is it that men think that when you plant the flag, you own the mountain. Dick: I spent two years climbing that mountain, and I'm not about to let some guy yodel on it!

Dick: Mary is too old for you. Tommy: I'm older than you. Dick: Well, then, you're too old for her. Either way, it won't work. Tommy: I make her laugh, Dick. She likes it. Dick: You shut your foul mouth!

August: Your son is impossible! Dick: And you're a pain in the ass. You're made for each other.