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The Thing That Wouldn't Die, Part 2

S 6 : Ep 20 - 5/22/01

The Solomons are leaving Earth. Will Mary go with them?

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The Thing That Wouldn't Die (1)

S 6 : Ep 19 - 5/22/01

Mary is having some trouble dealing with what she saw: Dick transforming Scoochie into a monkey. Dick inevitably tells her the truth and she has a hard time to believe in it. Eventually she accepts it and even becomes fascinated by it. When everything seems to be going fine for Dick, Harry announces that their mission is over and they are to leave Earth.moreless

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Mary Loves Scoochie (2)

Full Episode

S 6 : Ep 18 - 5/15/01

Dick can't stop Mary from dating her secret admirer "Scoochie" (really alien Liam Neesam), even though he suspects Liam is only using her as part of his plot against all mankind. Meanwhile, the rest of the gang find the "prequel" to their favorite movie, Arthur 2.moreless

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Mary Loves Scoochie (1)

Full Episode

S 6 : Ep 17 - 5/8/01

John Cleese reprises his role as Liam Neesam, Dick's malevolent alien nemesis in the first of a special two-part episode. In part one, Dick intercepts love letters sent to Mary by "Scoochie," a secret admirer, and plots to interject himself into Mary's upcoming assignation at a Renaissance festival with the mystery man.moreless

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Dick Soup for the Soul

Full Episode

S 6 : Ep 16 - 5/1/01

Dick thinks he's found the key to true happiness after reading Mary's favorite self-help book, so he rids himself of all conflict in his life -- including Mary, his main source of friction. Sally tries to help Tommy get into his college fraternity of choice by posing as the Assistant Pledge Master during Hell Week, but her grueling physical tests push Tommy to the limit. Meanwhile, Harry becomes tortured in his quest to re-paint the kitchen ceiling.moreless

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Glengarry Glen Dick

Full Episode

S 6 : Ep 15 - 4/17/01

After Dick and Don each buy half of a timeshare "luxury getaway," they take Mary and Sally on their first vacation there. Meanwhile, Harry's afraid of shrinking now that Tommy's taller than he is.moreless

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My Mother, My Dick

Full Episode

S 6 : Ep 14 - 2/20/01

When a new alien accidentally arrives through the time space portal, Dick tells Harry and Sally that it's their responsibility to take care of him. And Dick alienates Mary by taking sides with her detested mother as he tries to navigate through the minefield that separates the two women.moreless

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You Don't Know Dick

Full Episode

S 6 : Ep 13 - 2/13/01

After everyone convinces Dick that he doesn't know what Mary likes, he tries to buy concert tickets for the two of them.

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Dick's Ark

Full Episode

S 6 : Ep 12 - 2/6/01

Dick gets a new camera and proceeds to make Mary angry by taking her picture against her wishes. Mary decides the two need a weekend off. Sally catches Harry walking around in the rain in her new suede jacket and decides that since the weather men can't accurately predict the rain they should pay for it. Upon going to the studio she then gets hired to be "Sally Storm" the new weather girl. Sally is told by Dick to stop being the weather girl after constantly being accurate, at which point they see that a major tornado will hit their area. Dick then remembers the college has a bomb shelter and proceeds to allow Sally and Harry to both bring one loved one to save from the carnage. Dick has to then try and get Mary to come, and does this by making Nina thing that an intervention(AA style) is in order.moreless

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A Dick Replacement

Full Episode

S 6 : Ep 11 - 1/30/01

Dick and Mary visit Rita, a psychic, together, and Dick scoffs that the whole thing's a rip-off—until the psychic says that Dick and Mary are from two different worlds. She adds that one of these days Dick will leave Mary and go back where he came from. Dick immediately decides that he should devote himself to locating his successor, someone worthy who will wait in the wings until Dick has gone. Later, Sally tells Harry that if the psychic talked about Dick's leaving the planet, she must know they're aliens; they have to kill her. Dick takes Mary to a singles bar in search of the perfect replacement, but he acts so strangely that the bartender thinks Mary's a hooker and asks them to leave. Harry and Sally set about hatching wildly unrealistic plots designed to do away with the psychic. Nina tells Dick about Gary Hemmings, a visiting lecturer who's dying to substitute for him. Dick talks with Gary and offers him the chance to replace him; Gary thinks he's being offered a staff position at the University. Gary's a bit puzzled when Dick insists that he meet Mary, saying that if Mary doesn't like him it will never work. Harry and Sally visit the psychic. Harry gets her in a headlock and smears honey on her blouse. Unfortunately, he's forgotten to tell Sally that his plan involves killer bees, so she can't supply them at the crucial moment. Dick, Gary and Mary meet in a restaurant, and Dick embarrasses and puzzles Mary as he attempts to play matchmaker. Harry and Sally re-visit Rita, who wants to throw them out, but they manage to get her to talk about herself, and she confides that she's always pictured herself dying during a passionate night of lovemaking. Harry's not sure he's up to doing the job, and Dick shows up and says he needs to speak to Rita first. He wonders how much time he has left; Harry tells Dick that however much time he has from now on, he's just a temp. Dick tells Gary he has the job and will probably be in the sack with Mary that evening. Gary protests that he won't sleep with Mary to get the job, and Dick says that sleeping with Mary is the job. In that case, Gary, who only wants a chance to teach physics, is having no part of it. When Mary finds out what's been going on, she's afraid that Dick might be dying, but he explains that he was just spooked by what the psychic had to say, and now he's decided he doesn't want to be replaced.moreless

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There Is No Business Like Dick Business

Full Episode

S 6 : Ep 10 - 1/16/01

Mary has her purse snatched in a park, so Harry, Nina and Mary attend a self defense course that Don is teaching. Dick becomes a nightclub magician and Sally, his glamorous assistant.

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Dick Digs

Full Episode

S 6 : Ep 9 - 1/9/01

When Mary invites Dick to accompany her on an archeological dig, he eagerly accepts; he's seen "Raiders of the Lost Ark," so he knows how exciting and dangerous archeology can be. The Rutherford Garlic Festival is underway, and hotel rooms are at a premium. Since Dick's gone on the dig, the other aliens decide to rent out his bed. Soon the Solomons' apartment becomes "The Inn at Solomon House" with Tommy and Sally committed to giving their guests outstanding service in hopes of earning four stars in the Crown Travel Guide. Harry's not enthusiastic about the new venture, because he gets to do all the dirty work. At the dig, Dick's disenchanted when Mary gives him a trowel, a brush and an air bulb and tells him to carefully dust the sediment in one square foot of land. Dick grudgingly gets to work and later complains that he's been working five hours and all he's found is a pointy rock. Mary's astonished when she identifies his "pointy rock" as a spear head. She sadly confesses that she's been going on digs for years and has never found anything. She's had to buy the artifacts in her office and has even gotten some from eBay. She says she would have killed to have found the ceremonial wedding moon that Dr. Powell, the leader of the dig, uncovered earlier. Dick tells her not to worry; he's sure she'll find something. Harry's fed up with his new job and resigns; he shows up shortly afterward and wants to register as a hotel guest. If he can't be a guest, he'll write a negative letter to the Crown Travel Guide, so Sally and Tommy reluctantly allow him to register. Harry immediately becomes guest from hell, demanding constant massages and tickets to "Les Mis." Back at the dig, Mary sees little point in continuing, because she's sure she won't find anything, but Dick insists she go on. He slyly plants something where she's been digging, and soon she unearths a wedding moon identical to the one found by Dr. Powell. She's ecstatic until it's revealed that, in fact, it is Dr. Powell's, and she's accused of being a thief. She's furious with Dick, but he assures her he was only trying to make her feel better. Sally can't bear another minute of waiting on Harry hand and foot, so she announces that she too is quitting and will be registering as a guest. Tommy says nothing doing. He's sick of the whole thing. Together the aliens order their unsuspecting hotel guests out of their house.moreless

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Red, White & Dick

Full Episode

S 6 : Ep 8 - 12/19/00

Dick realizes he needs to become more American, only to hear he actually has a Canadian passport. Sally, Harry and Tommy start an equality system in the house, only for it to end up as a communist regime.moreless

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B.D.O.C.

Full Episode

S 6 : Ep 7 - 12/12/00

The aliens give Tommy a big send-off to college, including two cases of beer and a fake ID, but as he's leaving Sally and Harry get ready to interview his replacement. The candidates have materialized in the closet and are ready and waiting. Both aliens are sold on Christie, an extremely efficient young woman, until they meet the incredibly handsome Bryce. Sally's bowled over by Bryce and hires him on the spot. Harry's upset, but he's quickly overruled. Meanwhile, Dick drops Tommy off at his dorm, and they reminisce about all the missions they've been on together. Sally's loving every minute that Bryce is around, but after Bryce's first day on the job, Dick decides to go get Tommy and bring him back. Tommy's already enjoying college and flirting with girls. Dick arrives and tries to convince Tommy to come home and go to Pendleton if he must go to college, but Tommy says he's not leaving. He does manage to convince Tommy that to impress the girls and really make a name for himself he has to come up with an outrageous freshman prank. Dick convinces him to literally turn the chancellor's office upside down, nailing everything from the filing cabinet to the ficus tree to the ceiling. Dick pulls the fire alarm as a final touch and locks Tommy in the office. At last it hits Tommy that Dick's trying to get him expelled. Back at the apartment, Sally has given up trying to be subtle and is openly hitting on Bryce, who's very uncomfortable. Dick's disappointed when the Chancellor merely issues Tommy a warning for his offense, telling Dick he doesn't want to stifle youthful exuberance and reminiscing fondly about a few of his own college pranks. He even suggests that Tommy might like to meet his daughter. Harry and Bryce confront Sally with the charge of sexual harassment in the workplace. Sally pretends that she's sorry and offers to resign; she heads toward the closet, but at the last second she shoves Bryce in. That evening Dick goes to see Tommy in his dorm room and tells him he's making a big mistake, but Tommy refuses to come home. Dick has to confess that he didn't want Tommy to grow up; Tommy replies that parental love, at its best, is the only love that leads to separation, and Dick realizes that it's time for him to go. The Solomons, without Tommy, are on the roof. Sally and Harry tell Dick that Bryce is gone; he didn't work out. Dick is saying how funny it seems without Tommy just as Tommy is coming up the back steps with a laundry basket. Since school is only an hour away, he thought he'd do his laundry at home.moreless

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Why Dickie Can't Teach

Full Episode

S 6 : Ep 6 - 12/5/00

Tommy can't decide where to go to college, and Dick is really pushing Pendleton: when it's all said and done, Princeton and Pendleton both serve fish sticks. Dick says he'll give Tommy a personal tour of the campus. Harry wants to go too but the other aliens remind him that he's not going to college. Meanwhile, Sally's upset that Don's not included in a newspaper article on Rutherford's ten most powerful men; she can't fathom how this is possible. Sally says maybe she's let Don down; maybe she hasn't thrust greatness upon him. It's time to rebuild him into the powerhouse he's never dreamed of being. On campus, Mary tries to help Dick recruit Tommy, but Tommy just wants to sit in on a class. Sally decides to throw a power brunch to turn Don into a success; she invites everyone on the top ten list plus other important townspeople. At the brunch, she wangles an assistant's job for Don with Gus DeMarmel, president of DeMarmel lunchmeat; never mind that Don has absolutely no business experience. Since Don already has a job, Sally tells him to take the night shift and be an assistant during the day shift. After sitting in on only one of Dick's classes, Tommy tells him that he's a terrible teacher, much worse than Tommy imagined. Don starts his assistant's job, and Sally couldn't be more proud. Insulted by Tommy's remarks, Dick says he's forbidden to go to Pendleton. Tommy's delighted, so Dick then informs him that he will, in fact, be going there. Tommy asks Dick what his problem is. Dick's so bad at teaching that Tommy thought he knew. Don is crazed at work when Harry and Sally show up, and he has no time for them. Tommy talks with Mary, and she confesses she feels guilty about trying to recruit him, because Pendleton's a clown college. Harry convinces Sally that Don is blowing her and is now in search of a trophy wife. Sally says she made Don, now she can break him. When Dick proves unsuccessful at teaching some kids to play hopscotch, even Mary agrees that he's a bad teacher. Sally sabotages a project Don's working on, and he gets fired. And when Dick tells Tommy he plans to quit teaching, Tommy reminds him that no matter how good or bad a teacher he is, his real job is to be high commander.moreless

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Dick'll Take Manhattan (2)

Full Episode

S 6 : Ep 5 - 11/28/00

Things aren't going well in the Solomons' parallel universe and they want to go home.

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Dick'll Take Manhattan (1)

Full Episode

S 6 : Ep 4 - 11/21/00

Dick, Sally and Harry are bored so they go to another dimension (through their shower) where they are all very rich famous and living in New York.

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Indickscretion

Full Episode

S 6 : Ep 3 - 11/14/00

Dick invites Sally and Don to join himself and Mary on a date. But when the conversation turns to their sex lives, Don and Mary have adverse reactions. Meanwhile, Dick and Harry take a road trip, but only get as far as the gas station.moreless

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Fear and Loathing in Rutherford

Full Episode

S 6 : Ep 2 - 10/31/00

In an attempt to reconcile with Alissa, Tommy goes to her house with the feeble excuse that she still has the beer tap they rented for the senior party and he needs to return it. Strudwick snidely tells Tommy that he thought Alissa had given him his walking papers. But Alissa surprises her father by leaving the house with Tommy carrying a suitcase (containing the beer tap). A few hours later Strudwick goes to the Solomons' apartment looking for Alissa. Mrs. Dubcek observes that the evidence points to an elopement. Dick and Strudwick enlist Mary's help and drive off to stop the wedding.moreless

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Les Liaisons Dickgereuses

Full Episode

S 6 : Ep 1 - 10/24/00

Mary's rich, spoiled sister Renata arrives in Rutherford. Dick formulates a plan to help Mary get the best of her once and for all. But Dick's falls in temptation when he gets a chance to live a life of luxury.moreless

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The Big Giant Head Returns Again (2)

Full Episode

S 5 : Ep 22 - 5/23/00

It's troubled relationship time in the season closer. The Solomons' supreme commander arrives with a troubled marriage to Vicki and a surprise for one of the gang: he's in love. Meanwhile, Harry summons up the courage to ask new police recruit Janice out on a real date; and Sally becomes convinced that Alissa is preparing to dump Tommy.moreless

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The Big Giant Head Returns Again (1)

Full Episode

S 5 : Ep 21 - 5/23/00

It's troubled relationship time in the season closer. The Solomons' supreme commander arrives with a troubled marriage to Vicki and a surprise for one of the gang: he's in love. Meanwhile, Harry summons up the courage to ask new police recruit Janice out on a real date; and Sally becomes convinced that Alissa is preparing to dump Tommy.moreless

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Dick Solomon's Day Off

Full Episode

S 5 : Ep 20 - 5/16/00

While Dick discovers the pleasures of faking "a sick day," the other Solomons find new kicks listening to cell-phone calls on Officer Don's misplaced scanner.

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Frankie Goes to Rutherford

Full Episode

S 5 : Ep 19 - 5/9/00

Frank, a former student of Mary's, returns for a lecture series and makes Dick (unaware Frank is gay) jealous. When Frank confesses he has a secret, Dick jumps to the conclusion that Frank is also an alien, "comes out" to Frank, and is soon cavorting in Rutherford's finest gay bar while thinking it is a hangout for other covert aliens. Meanwhile, the other Solomons plan a bank robbery, but fall prey to mutual suspicion.moreless

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Dick and Harry Fall Down a Hole

Full Episode

S 5 : Ep 18 - 5/2/00

Dick and Harry tumble down an abandoned airshaft, prompting a televised search-and-rescue headed by an eccentric Scottish expert known as "the Hole," who promptly clashes with an agitated Sally over his unorthodox rescue method. Meanwhile, down in their dark prison, an excitable Dick finally loses control while Zen-like Harry remains cool and calm. Above ground, Tommy tries to make a fast buck by hawking souvenirs of his trapped friends.moreless

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Shall We Dick?

Full Episode

S 5 : Ep 17 - 4/18/00

Over Mary's objections that she can't dance, Dick insists that together they can win the school Badger Day dance contest. Meanwhile, Sally and Alissa become pals -- and when they go clothes shopping together, Tommy's frustrated because Sally has a chance to see Alissa naked in the dressing room. Meanwhile, when Harry and Nina join the contest, it soon becomes clear to Dick that if he wants to win, he'll have to change partners to dance. A competitive Dick enters the Badger Day dance contest but when his tangle footed partner Mary quits in disgust, he commandeers Harry's date, the more nimble Nina, out from under his nose. Elsewhere, just when it appears that Sally will finally become friends with Alissa, she turns vindictive when Alissa accidentally walks in on Officer Don and sees him "au natural."moreless

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Dick Strikes Out

Full Episode

S 5 : Ep 16 - 3/28/00

When a new chancellor shakes things up at Pendleton, Dick gets a striking idea and convinces his fellow faculty members to resign en masse. Meanwhile, Tommy takes a job at a pretzel stand at the mall, but finds that working for girlfriend Alissa isn't as much fun as he expected.moreless

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Youth is Wasted on the Dick

Full Episode

S 5 : Ep 15 - 3/21/00

Dick tries to experience youth for the first time by partying with his students during spring break, but his drunken antics are wasted on Mary, who is trying to relive a favorite, and more relaxing, family outing instead. Meanwhile, Sally, Harry, and Tommy become enthralled with a no-nonsense state criminal investigator, who takes over Officer Don's command post when the police set up a stake-out in the Solomon's attic to spy on a suspected video pirate in the neighborhood.moreless

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This Little Dick Went to Market

Full Episode

S 5 : Ep 14 - 3/14/00

Dick decides that since the Solomons have come to Earth during the greatest bull market in history, he should get in on the action. But when Dick and Tommy put all their money in one company's stock and lose their investment, they take matters into their own hands. Meanwhile, Sally feels "emasculated" by (and Harry falls in lust with) Rutherford's newest rookie cop Janice -- the largest, strongest, toughest woman they've ever seen.

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Rutherford Beauty

Full Episode

S 5 : Ep 13 - 2/22/00

Dick gets in trouble with Mary when he shares with her his compulsive erotic fantasies about Nina. Sally tries everyone's patience when she becomes a fanatical follower of a lifestyle guru a la Marta Stewart, and Mary asks her to cater her dinner party.moreless

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