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Reverend Eric Camden
Ruthie yells at Mary that she never came home to have pizza with her like she promised, obviously referring to a previous episode called Losers. However, this isn't entirely true; Mary did make it home with the pizza and was more than willing to be with Ruthie, but Ruthie was mad because she got home an hour late. That doesn't exactly mean that Mary "never showed up".
Mary: (after her parents find a joint in her bedroom) I can't believe you searched my room! What are you, communists? I have rights, you know!
Annie: I guess I just can't explain this often enough. A right is something that can never be taken away from you. For example, you have the right to be indignant now, and I can't take that away, but privacy? Well, privacy is a privilege when you live with your parents, and privileges can be taken away. Now, we knew that you were in trouble, but we had no idea that you were this far down the road!
Eric: Have you ever tried smoking marijuana?
Mary: Well, even if I did, what is so wrong with experimenting? I mean, what's the harm in just trying it? Everybody's gonna try it sometime.
Eric: Well, first of all, not everyone. Not me, for example. And secondly, let me see if I can answer the "what's the harm" question. I suppose for some people, nothing ever comes from the fact that they tried smoking pot, but for other people, plenty comes from the fact that they tried smoking pot. Lifelong, illegal habits. The need to try other, harder drugs. Addiction to those drugs. Arrest. Conviction. Jail time. Those kinds of things. The question really is, to which people do you belong? There's no way of knowing. But "experimenting" to find out? That's quite a risk, don't you think? I think it is, especially for someone who's on probation.
Simon: (to Mary) I know I'm considered "The Bank of Simon", and you all laugh at that, but here's what I like about money. It tells you right who you are in numbers, not words that can hurt your feelings or make you mad. Numbers are undisputed facts, and the fact is, your numbers point to trouble. It's simple. You don't make as much as you spend, and you don't make enough to meet your obligations. You'd see that if you looked at the numbers, but I know you don't like to do that. I can help you set up a budget and a payment schedule if you want, but even if you don't want, take my advice. Don't spend anything else until you pay off your debt, and then don't get into debt again! And the first thing you have to pay off is your personal debt--the money you owe Sam and David. Now, I know that a lot of people would put that off to last, and maybe a professional finance guy would tell you to pay your institutional enders first, but I'm your brother, and I'm telling you that morally, the right thing to do is to pay people first, especially relatives. And when you see that little column of debt marked "Sam and David" reach zero debt, that zero is going to tell you right who you are, just like I said. It's gonna say that you, Mary Camden, care more about your family than anyone else. It's gonna say that you care about keeping your promises to your family more than anything else. And when you see all those other little columns of debt go down, week after week, the page is gonna tell the facts of your debt recovery. It's a beautiful thing, and I want you to have a beautiful thing, because I love you.
Matt: (to Mary) Look, I'm sorry I haven't been around much. You're important to me. What happens to you is important to me. What happens to you is important to everyone in the family, but I've been watching you, and I haven't really been interested in being a part of anything that's going on in your life, so I've basically avoided you, but maybe I should have cornered you and given you my take on what you're doing a lot sooner. I've seen so many young women who are losers, mostly in the emergency room or entering drug rehab at the hospital. I don't want you to be a loser. It's too easy to be the bad girl. You're better than that. I know I'm not perfect. I know I don't have all the answers, but I can tell you this. The most powerful thing I ever did for myself was make up my mind to become a responsible person, and I still haven't worked up to being responsible 24 hours a day, but I'm getting better at it. And I'm hoping that sharing this with you will help you make up your mind to become a responsible person! If you can't do it for yourself, then maybe you could consider the rest of us, and how much we need you to be responsible. Whatever you do affects us all. I know you know that, and yet you act like you don't care. All of us have to strive to be the best we can be, not because anything else is unacceptable, but because anything else is just plain misery. I can see you're miserable. You are. This is not the best you can do. You can do better, and I will do anythingI can to help you do better. You just have to make up your mind that that's what you want to do, and I'm there for you. We all are.
Annie: (to Mary) I know you know that your new friends Frankie and Johnny smoke and drink pot, but did you also know that he hits her? They have serious problems, and we don't want their serious problems to become your serious problems.
Annie: How are you?
Julie: Fine. I'm fine.
Julie: Hank's fine. He says hello.
Hank: No I didn't.
Julie: The baby's fine.
Annie: Did you loan Mary any money?
Julie: Are we missing anything valuable from the house?
Hank: The only thing we have of value is our daughter (holds up baby monitor) and I can hear her breathing... Let's eat.
Annie: Doesn't it seem like time speeds faster as you get older.
Annie: Are you ok?
Charles: I dunno, I forget.
Charles: (Laughs) Just a little Alzheimer's joke.
Mary: (after Ruthie gives her angry speech to Mary) I don't think I can take much more of this.
Annie: Yeah, that's exactly how your father and I feel.
Mary: Look, I get it, all right? I'll do better.
Eric: No, Mary, I don't think you do get it.
Movie Theater Guy: (when Mary wants to see the exact same movie that just ended) You're gonna see that movie again?
Mary: Yeah, it was funny. Do you have a problem with that?
Movie Theater Guy: No, it's just that if you're planning on seeing this movie every day like you did with the movie last week, you might want to give yourself 24 hours between screenings.
Mary: Just give me the ticket.
Eric: It's just that my Mary...my beautiful, smart, basketball-playing Mary, is falling completely apart.
Morgan Hamilton: She may be coming undone, but she's not undone yet.
Mary: (screams out angrily to Eric and Annie) I'll meet you in the car! (slams door)
Annie: Mary wouldn't leave without saying good-bye to her brothers and sisters, would she?
Eric: Don't be surprised if she gets on the plane without even saying good-bye to us.
Annie: I hate this.
Charles: Ginger keeps an eagle eye on all the money in this house, so trust me, you'll never catch me helping Miss Mary Mary Quite Contrary out of whatever debt she's in.
Mary: What's best for everyone is to ship me off to Siberia to live with old people?!
Mary: Why is everyone in the living room?
Eric: We were waiting on you. Sit down.
Mary: What if I don't want to sit down? What is this, one of your creepy interventions?
Matt: (about Mary and her money problems) I don't have time for this.
Lucy: I don't have time for this, either! I have a paper to write!
Matt: You know, I don't even know why we're yelling at each other when we should really be yelling at Mary.
Lucy: We can't yell at Mary. We can't find her!
Ruthie: We only have 24 hours to put the money in the banks.
Lucy: We have to move quickly.
Eric: How about Hank and Julie? Maybe they loaned Mary the money.
Annie: What are we going to do?
Eric: We're going to talk to our children. We're going to ask them what we know, and talk as a family. And then we're all going to confront Mary together when she gets home.
Annie: And then?
Eric: I don't know. But I think I have a plan.
Annie: You stole $500 from your own brothers?! From babies?!
Ruthie: I'm sorry, it's all my fault. Punish me any way you like.
Matt: What's going on?
Eric: What do you think is going on? Your 10-year-old sister is lying about stealing money so the rest of you can cover for Mary.
Annie: Is that it? Is that the truth!?
Ruthie: No! You're wrong! I took it. I'm very bad. I'm a very bad girl.
Matt: No, Ruthie. I'm a very bad big brother for letting this happen.
Lucy: It's like there's a big hole in the house, and Mary isn't even gone yet.
Matt: It's sad.
Simon: Really sad.
Ruthie: So, who wants cake?
Lucy: Please don't leave like this.
Mary to Lucy: How did you think I was going to leave? I am being sent off to live with the Colonel and Grandma Ruth in Buffalo! You know what Buffalo is like, and you know what they are like! What made you think I was going to be happy, huh?! What?
Lucy: I didn't know anything about it, OK? And maybe Mom and Dad are more concerned with your safety than your happiness!
Mary: Get out!
Lucy: Is this how you're gonna say good-bye?
Mary: Yeah, yeah. This is how I'm gonna say good-bye. And you can tell the rest of them to stay out of here, because I don't want to talk to any of you!
Ruthie: (To Mary) I must be at the wrong meeting. I don't know where all this chummy advice and gushy stuff is coming from, because I thought we were all supposed to tell you how mad we are. I'm mad, really mad. You're selfish. You don't care anything about the rest of us, so I don't know why we're all supposed to care so much about you. You act like you're the center of the entire Camden universe! I'm tired of eating a cold dinner every night because we're all hoping you'll come home and eat with us. I'm tired of waking up every night when you clump up those stairs. I'm tired of Mom and Dad fighting about you. I'm tired of covering for you, and I'm not doing it anymore! You made me lie to Mom and Dad; you never came home to have pizza with me like you promised. All you care about is you!
Lucy: I love you, too. All right, this is hard. (Trying not to cry) You're my big sister. And I look up to you. Or at least I did. You've always been better at school than I am, you've always been better at everything than I am. And that, at times, has made me feel inferior. Yet most of the time, it's given me something to work toward, because I wanted to be like you. But I don't want to be like you anymore.
Annie: You stole money from your own brothers?! From babies?!
Annie: This is pathetic. Really pathetic.
Annie: We had no idea that you were this far down the road.
Mary: I am not in trouble.
Eric: Life gets so complicated when you don't tell the truth.
Mary: So what's best for everyone is to ship me off to Siberia to live with old people?!
Annie: Yep, that's basically it. You will live with your grandparents, you will take a job working at a homeless shelter, with your first few checks going to Sam and David. And in January you and grandma will take a course.
Mary: What if I am not going to do this?
Annie: In my heart of hearts, I know this is the right thing. This is the right thing to do!
Annie: I love you! Remember what you said, it's better to have an angry kid then a dead kid!
This episode has the longest scene in the history of the show. The scene where the family confronts Mary lasts 15 minutes and 29 seconds, going from one commercial break to the next.
After this episode Mary (Jessica Biel) was a recurring starring character and appeared in 9 of the remaining 15 episodes of the season. She was only in the opening credits in those episode she starred in. She appeared in every episode in the sixth season. Although in the seventh season she only appeared in five episodes, and in the eighth season she would only appear in one episode. The ninth she did not appear even once, and would not return until the tenth season finale.
This is the last episode to feature only the original cast in the opening credits exclusively.
In Germany this episode is known as, "Education Measures," translated.
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