7th Heaven

Annie: (to Matt) You look terrible. Eric: It finally happened. Our son got rejected by a girl. Annie: I can't believe it. Not my Matt! Why, you are the most handsomest guy on Earth, and if a girl doesn't like you, then something must be wrong with her! Eric: Maybe your mom could call her. Matt: You know, you two are really starting to sound like June and Ward Cleaver. Eric: Really? Because up until now, you kind of reminded me of Wally. Wally never got rejected.

Eric: Maybe what you need is a tutor. Lucy: You mean an older-high-school-guy-who-looks-like-Brad-Pitt type of tutor? Eric: Uh, no, I was thinking of a much-older-minister-who's-slowly-losing-patience-with-his-daughter type of tutor.

Eric: Who's the woman? Matt: What woman? Eric: The woman who rejected you. Matt: How did you know? Eric: Unfortunately, experience. Matt: I offered to help her study, and she turned me down flat. What's wrong with me? Eric: Well, just because one woman doesn't approve of you doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. You go out there and do your best. That's all you can do. Matt: Thanks, Coach. I'll try and win one for the home team!

Ted Jacob: I can't believe she's cutting again. I guess I can believe it. My wife and I have been seeing some of the old warning signs. Her frequent trips to the bathroom, keeping he bedroom door always locked, wearing baggy clothes to hide the scars.

Simon: What if I gave you 50 cents for every right answer you got on your math test today? Ruthie: There are 20 questions on the test. Annie: I know. Ruthie: That's ten dollars. Simon: Oh, right, like you have a problem with math!

Annie: All right. Look at the picture. There are 6 puppies on the rug, and 3 puppies that want to get onto the rug. How many puppies altogether? Ruthie: 20! Annie: Are you sure? Ruthie: Oh, whoops, sorry. There are 60 puppies. Did I get it right? Oh, well, I guess I need more help than I thought. I guess you'll have to help me every night, even after you have the babies!

Mary: You know, none of this is like you, and I know why. I think your attitude is compliments of your new best friend Nicole. Lucy: Stop picking on my friend, okay? Because Nicole is here to stay. And, in the future, stay out of my business. Especially my friend business. Mary: I'm telling you there's something up with Nicole. Lucy: That's your opinion.

Lucy: Mom, Dad, you don't seriously believe Mary, do you? She's lying! Nicole would never do something like that. Why would anyone cut themselves? And even if she did, it was probably just an accident! Eric: Luce...I believe Mary. Lucy: Please! Mary would do anything to split us up! Mary: That is so not true, and you know it! I was only looking out for you and your stupid friend.

Eric: So we've got two underachievers, one squealer, one reject, one blond boy we know is up to something... Annie: And two more on the way.

Simon: Mom, I like the food you cook when you're pregnant. Ruthie: Me too. You know, maybe you could be pregnant all the time. Annie: Uh... I don't think so. Ruthie: Well, I had to ask.