The twins are finally home from the hospital and will not stop crying, and Eric and Annie could sure use some help from their five older kids. Unfortunately, Matt takes a job deliveringburgers and friesto avoid the madness at home. Mary sneaks out to meet her boyfriend, leaving a furious Lucy to take care of all the cleaning responsibilities. Simon fears that having little brothers may not be all that it's cracked up to be, and Ruthie regresses to immature behavior as she continues to struggle with no longer being the baby of the family.moreless
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Reverend Eric Camden
Billy West Jr.
Beverley Mitchell makes her singing debut in this episode when her character, is singing a song to her newborn crying twin brothers. She sings one of her church songs, "Just A Closer Walk With Thee", at the end of the episode.
Simon: You know, it's natural for babies to cry a lot. I mean, poop, pee, sleep, and cry pretty much covers their day.
Annie: Yeah, I've heard that.
Simon: What was that?
Mary: Tuna helper.
Simon: So you were supposed to put tuna in it.
Lucy: He's right. It was just the helper.
Mary: (pauses) We were supposed to add the tuna?
Annie: (listening to Ruthie sing a depressing song) Ruthie, you are not a motherless child. Your mother is right here, listening to your beautiful song. But I'm a little busy now, and I could really use your help. You're a big sister now. That means you're more important than ever.
Ruthie: All right, all right. What do you want me to do?
Annie: Would you like to hold Sam while I feed David?
Ruthie: I don't want to see you feed either one of them again, until they're eating with knives and forks.
Eric: Simon, do not, under any circumstances, let Ruthie out of your sight. She's planning to run away.
Simon: You do see that she's just crying out for attention, don't you?
Eric: Yes, and your mother and I are doing everything we can to give her the attention that she needs, but our hands are kind of full right now, so we were hoping you could give her some of yours. Scratch that, a lot of yours. All of yours.
Simon: Well, hey, I'm a team player.
Eric: I'm delighted to hear it.
Simon: Hey, Dad, if I pay for it, is it okay if I order a pizza or something?
Eric: Or something like what?
Simon: I don't know what my taste buds are in the mood for yet.
Eric: If you and your buds are thinking of giving the Dairy Shack a jingle, forget it. I don't want Matt to think we're checking in on him.
Simon: But what if the pizza place isn't delivering?
Eric: What are the odds of that?
Simon: These are strange times. It could happen.
Eric: (pauses) No, it couldn't.
Simon: But what if, Dad? What if?
Eric: Do what you think is right. (leaves)
Simon: (smiles) That was easy.
Eric: Maybe I'll start dinner.
Annie: No Mary and Lucy can start dinner. You should try to grab a fifteen minute nap and then when I'm finished with the babies you can keep an eye on them while I get a shower and a nap.
Eric: I'm on my way.
Annie: And Simon is on Ruthie duty until further notice.
Eric: You know a mother feeding her child is the sweetest picture in the world.
Annie: Do you have any idea how much this hurts?
Matt: Sssshhh! You want Mom and Dad to hear you? They're waiting for us. You know they are. Waiting for someone to stop that incessant crying.
Lucy: It never stops.
Matt: Thus the word incessant.
Lucy: We're trapped in our own home. Our hell home...sorry. Usually my brain self-censors, but I can't hear myself thinkg.
Mary: Okay listen, we can use the crying for cover. If we sneak up into our rooms very, very quietly them Mom and Dad won't be able to hear for the screaming.
Simon: Dad, you have to put those babies on a schedule.
Eric: Simon, while I appreciate the advice your mother and I think we know what we're doing at this point.
Annie: As soon as I get some sleep, the little blonde boy is mine.
Mary: When someone says "Where's Mary?", you say, "You just missed her."
Lucy: You should stay home more and work on better plans.
Wilson: I'm miserable. I'm lonely. And I can't stop thinking about you.
Mary: I'm not involved with Jordan. And I don't like being put on the spot to make your life decisions. So just do whatever you want to do.
Wilson: What do you want me to do?
Mary: I want you to stop asking me that and decide for yourself.
Shana: What time do you get off?
Matt: I just got fired. Isn't that great?
Mary: What happened?
Lucy: You made me lie to Mom and Dad! I lied and lied and lied. I wove a twisted web of lies and deceit and walked a tightrope on it all night long. Are they standing right behind me?
Eric: Simon, I'm beat. I haven't slept a wink. I don't want to say this the wrong way, but you have to stop helping out with the twins so much. Not that we don't appreciate it, especially since your brother and sisters have literally and figuratively left us. The point is....I think you have your hands full with Happy and Ruthie, and if you can just take care of those two, that'd be doing a lot.
Simon: Yeah, but you see, I'm the one who got the twins to be boys. And there's a special bond between brothers.
Ruthie: You better go get Sam and David. I'll be OK. I can put myself to bed.
Annie: You're such a big girl. And I'm so proud of you. Just don't grow up too fast, okay?
Ruthie: Are you gonna give this book to me when I grow up?
Annie: No, I'm gonna give it to you now. Now you're a big sister. And I want you to have it.
Ruthie: You mean to keep? In my room? Cool!
Annie: Here's a picture of me before you were even born. See my tummy? That's you!
Ruthie: Maybe I never should have come out.
Annie: But look what you would have missed. (thumbs through baby book) Riding on Daddy's shoulders, and Simon rocking you on the front porch. And Mary giving you a bath in the kitchen sink.
Ruthie: My butt was a lot smaller then!
Annie: (laughs) Well, all of our...bottoms were a lot smaller then! And look, your first birthday party. And, um, here's a ringlet...from the first time that I cut your hair. (tousles Ruthie's curls)
Annie: Is that the new outfit that Grandpa and Ginger sent for the boys?
Ruthie: Is that what it is? I had no idea. Hmm. Guess it was just lying around somewhere.
Annie: On the top shelf of the hall closet where we keep the rest of the baby gifts?
Simon: (about the twins) I don't know. I just thought it would be fun. I mean, I was fun for Matt.
Eric: Well, you're an exceptional brother. And it will get fun. Trust me. Just give it some time.
Annie: Why isn't Simon watching Ruthie?
Ruthie: Is Simon my new mommy?
Ruthie: I don't care what anyone says about the twins. They're not cute.
Simon: Well, of course they're not cute! Compared to you, who is?
Ruthie: I'm not buying it. Get away from me.
Simon: Come on. If you come back in the house with me, I'll give you a cookie. Two cookies. Cookies and ice cream!....money? Cold, hard cash?
Ruthie: I liked you better when you ignored me.
Matt: You, get out. I have burgers to deliver.
Ruthie: I love riding in a car full of hamburgers and french fries. I had a dream I did it once and I woke up really happy.
Eric: I forgot how beautiful Lucy's voice is.
Annie: And, boy, can she clean a toilet.
Annie: (to Eric) Your clients are in the living room honey.
Annie: They're people who come to you father for counseling. Just what would you call them?
Matt: I don't know. Mentally disturbed parishioners, maybe. No, wait...church nuts.
Simon: (in response to the twins' crying) You know, they could have colic. Results in constant, uncontrollable crying. It's enough to make any parent feel like a failure.
Annie: (whispering to Eric) Make him leave.
Eric: (to Simon) Colic doesn't generally come until after the first month, and before you go around making any more observations, why don't you take care of your sister and your dog like we asked you to, because one of them ran away and one of them peed on the kitchen floor.
Simon: Fine. But it takes a village, my friend!
Matt: Don't make me get Mom and Dad.
Ruthie: Ha! You couldn't get Mom and Dad away from the "Children of the Corn" if you tried!
Eric: Two new babies and we still get to torture the other five. I told you this was gonna be fun.
In Germany this episode is known as, "Sleep, Children, Sleep", translated.
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