7th Heaven

(Matt and Mary are imitating their grandparents because Eric, Annie, and Julie want them to) Mary:(as Grandma Ruth) Well, I'll tell you what's a shame, dear. When you see three intelligent adults who have nothing better to do than forcing their children to entertain them. Matt:(as The Colonel) The comings and goings around here make a circus look like Blue Ridge Mountains. Mary: Oh, remember the Blue Ridge Mountains? Wasn't that the time you killed the mountain lion with the cap of your canteen? Matt: No that was the Poconos trip, Blue Ridge was the time a grizzly attacked your cousin Beth and I had to take the beast's eye to save her. (Colonel and Ruth come in, Colonel clears his throat) Matt: They...they're behind us aren't they? Eric: Oh, yeah.

George: You know, I'm your uncle now. Simon: In theory. George: You want to start calling me Uncle George. Simon: No. You're younger than me. George: I'm still your uncle. It's a matter of respect! Simon: Okay. When I respect you, I'll start calling you Uncle George. Don't hold your breath.

Matt: (when Julie is trying to sneak a drink) I thought you might end up down here. Make sure, Aunt Julie. There won't be any going back this time. Julie: I can't make it. You don't understand. I'm scared. The world just keeps getting bigger and bigger. I need something. Matt: (looks out the window at the Colonel) What you need is out there. What you want is in that glass. I love you either way, Jules, but it's time for you to choose.

The Colonel: (to George's father who has just called him a blowhard) Mickey Mouse called me that once and I fed him his three-fingered glove.

Julie: No, you're right, Mom, it's my fault. Everything's my fault, isn't it? Because I'm a loser! Well, you raised me, so take a bow! Ruth: Oh, no, no, no. You are not the girl I raised!

The Colonel: Hello. Jimmy: Hey. Grandma Ruth: Hey is for horses. Are you a farmer, Jimmy? Jimmy: No. The Colonel: Do you know who I am? Jimmy: Lucy's grandfather? The Colonel: I am Colonel John Camden, United States Marines!

Eric: I've really lost it on this one Lord.