7th Heaven

Eric: Simon! (A la Alvin and the Chipmuncks)

Ruthie: You're amazing. You have no fear of me whatsoever. I admire that... sort of. Kevin: Upstairs. All the way upstairs. And if I ever catch you listening on one of my conversations I'm not going to let you off with just a warning. Ruthie: Is that a threat? Man you give a guy a uniform and a gun and they think they rule the world.

Ruthie: Can a guy under age 18 can get arrested for soliciting? Simon: You don't even know what that means? Ruthie: Yes I do, I asked Kevin what it is when one person pays money to another person to go out with them, and he said it's soliciting. Women are actually paying you money to go out with them? That's where you are evey night? Simon: How do you know that? Ruthie: Deductive reasoning. Simon: It's nothing bad. It's just when a woman at my school needs a date because she's broken up with her boyfriend or she wants to make her boyfrined jealous, or has a special function, like a wedding to go to and se doesn't want to go herself, then I just help them out. Ruhtie: For money? Simon: It doesn't matter how nice you try to make it sound. It's still wrong, and I think you should stop doing it. And I think if you don't something bad is going to happen to you.

Simon: You let Mary date a man as old as dad and I can't even have my own apartment. Annie: That's really lame, Simon.

Robbie: Simon, you're not just a date, you're running an escort service. You can't do that. Simon: Why not? It's not illegal. Robbie: It's immoral. Simon: No, it's not. It's practically a public service. I'm not selling sex. Robbie: You're one step away from it! Kevin: (to peeping Ruthie) Morning, Ruthie! Simon: What did you hear?! Ruthie: Nothing just 'Morning, Ruthie.' Kevin: Does anyone ever think of checking to see if Ruthie's outside the door before they begin a conversation. Ruthie: Fortunately not.

Eric: You'd consider leaving your family in order to be with this low-life sky jockey who's got a daughter your own age? Mary: I really have to go now! Would you please get out of my car!? Eric: I hope that everytime that you even think about kissing him you think about kissing your father! And for anyone who's listening, that came out completely wrong!

Sam: Shh! Don't wake up mom. David: Dad said let her sleep.

Ruthie: Is this a way a woman who wants to be a minister should behave? Lucy: No...

Kevin: Cecilia ratted out Simon. Robbie: Did she rat out about her or the other dates? Lucy: I'm sorry, but what are we talking about? Kevin: Simon has a dating service where girls pay him to take them out. Lucy: I didn't know this why? Ruthie: Like Kevin said No one likes a stool pigeon. Lucy: So you told them not to tell me? Kevin: Okay, its me and you. Ruthie: Maybe Robbie will talk with me, he's good at that. Robbie: Thats between you and Kevin. Kevin: How come what I told you to do, but you do it anyways? Ruthie: I didnt say anything to anyone. I tell the truth.. Kevin: Your telling the half truth. Don't you think I have enough problems with your sister already? Ruthie: What kind of problems? Kevin: Apologize first... Ruthie: I'm sorry I embarrassed you expecially in front of my sister Lucy. Is it sex? Is that your problem? Kevin: No it's not sex. I dont think that is cute for you to be asking me that. The problem is that I am madly in love with your sister. Ruthie: You are, aren't you

Kevin: Last night when I was talking to Mary. Robbie: Mom said we shouldn't talk to her. Kevin: I know but I did it anyways and you know what she said. She said 'Oh really? Did you know Robbie and Lucy had a little sleep over in his room last year.' Is that true? Did Lucy ever spend the night with you in this room? Robbie: Is that why you want to trade my room for yours? Kevin: I'll take that as a yes.

Simon: I hope you left me some hot water. Robbie: I didn't have any hot water to begin with, why do you think I'm dressed like this? Im freezing. Simon: Why don't we have any hot water? Robbie: Because others were up and showered before me, others who use mass quantaties of hot water...Mary. Simon: What time is she getting up now, 4 AM? Robbie: I don't know but she is going to have to talk to Reverend Camden sooner or later. Simon: Did you talk to her? Robbie: I could ask you the same thing, did you talk to her? Simon: Yeah, I couldn't help myself. Robbie: Me neither. Did you get through to her? Simon: No.

Lucy: Robbie said that you said that Mary told you Robbie and I slept together. Kevin: So are you mad at Mary because she said something to me or because I said something to Robbie? Lucy: I don't know why she would say something. and I don't know you said something to Robbie, especially without saying something to me first. And I'm still upset with your new partner. Is she still around? Kevin: Yes, and I'm sorry if there a rule that I have to discuss everything I say to Robbie with you? Because I didn't know that was a rule. And now that I do I'm not agreeing to it. Lucy: You don't have to agree with it because it's still a rule. Kevin: Let's see how that works out. Lucy: See how what works out? Kevin: This. (He kisses her) Lucy: Wait. You can't... you can't... Kevin: I can't do what? Lucy: You can't just do that everytime I try to talk to about something serious. Kevin: Why not? Lucy: Because it's a rule and I don't care if you agree to it because it's still a rule. (runs up stairs, yelling down at Kevin) and change partners! Kevin: (to himself) Man I love that woman.

Kevin: (catching Ruthie spying on Robbie and Simon's conversation, speaking very loudly) Morning, Ruthie! Kevin: (to Ruthie) If I ever catch you listening in on one of my conversations, I'm not gonna let you off with a warning.

Kevin: Don't you think I have enough problems with Lucy without you're help? Ruthie: What kind of problems? Is it sex? Is that you're problem with Lucy? Kevin: No, it is not sex and I don't think it's cute for you to ask me that because it's completely inappropriate.