Peter to Kevin: "I hate my mother."
Kevin to Peter: "We all probably hated our mother one time or another."
Peter to Kevin: "She talked to my dad when she was on her business trip. They met and had coffee and talked about me and how we could all be one big happy family again because he's now sober and responsible."
Kevin to Peter: "How do you feel about that?"
Peter to Kevin: "How do I feel? If I wanted to talk to a shrink I would've gone to one. I wanted to talk to a man. How would you feel if you were in my position. I don't want to see my dad. I don't want to talk to him, I wish he was dead."
Kevin to Peter: "You know, my father is dead and I can't tell you how much I miss him."
Peter to Kevin: You're a cop, you know the dark side of life."
Chandler to Paris: "Would you get back together with him simply becuase he's Peter's father?"
Paris to Chandler: "There's nothing simple about it."
Vic to Eric: "What would you like to know? Let's see, um, I went through rehab. I've ben sober for three years and nine days. Whoo-hoo. Um, I have a job. A crummy job. I teach art to a bunch of losers at St. George Community College. Yeah, I'm a frickin' art teacher."
Vic to Eric: "Look I didn't get sober for nothing, so let's just get on with this. All right."
Peter to Lucy: "This is why I asked Kevin to take me. You Camdens have really lived a sheltered life."
Eric to Annie: "...But I'm exhausted from just trying to smack him with a newspaper that was on my desk."
Vic to Peter: "You had to bring a cop? You thought I do something stupid?"
Vic to Martin: "Oh, yeah you're the Marines kid. When are you signing up? Next month?
Martin to Vic: "I'm only sixteen, but when I'm eighteen, yeah I might. Why? Was that a crack at the Marines?"
Vic to Martin: "Calm down, it wasn't a crack, I'm just being friedly...apology accepted."
Vic to family: "It's like an orphanage, only that the kids have parents waiting for them at home, huh?"
Richard to friends: "It looks like a clown car."
Peter to Eric & Chandler: "Thanks. Both of you. And (points upward) thank your boss."