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Reverend Eric Camden
When Ruthie gets her laundry out of the washing machine, it appears to be dry. But she took it out of the washing machine, so shouldn't it be wet?
In this episode Ruthie does her own laundry as in all the Camden children, when you're old enough to dress yourself you're old enough to do your own laundry. But in later episodes Annie does the laundry for everyone in the family numerous times.
Eric: So you've been in junior high for what, six weeks now? How's it going?
Simon: Well, it's called middle school, Dad. And you know, what can I say? It's the middle. I'm halfway.
Eric: Yeah, but I mean, compared to elementary school, it must seem....bigger? Scarier?
Eric: Well, I hear this is the year that you learn about drug abuse in health class. That's major league stuff.
Simon: Eh, not really. It all seems pretty stupid, actually.
Simon: Well, it's just all these videos of junkies laying in alleys, needles sticking out of their arms, drooling all over themselves. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out how dumb drugs are.
Eric: Yeah, it's hard to fathom how anybody could do that to themselves. But you know, maybe those junkies started out just smoking a joint someone handed them at a party, or on the school bus, or the school cafeteria.
Simon: Yeah, maybe. I just don't understand why anyone would start using any kind of drug in the first place.
Eric: Me neither.
Simon: Well, when you figure it out, Dad, let me know.
Wilson: Some mistakes are like jumping out of a plane. Once you do it, you can't take it back.
Lucy: (apologizing for her not-yet-approved-of, 'hairy' boyfriend after the evening's meal) Sorry, I didn't know Rod was a vegetarian.
Eric: (under his breath) Wouldn't want to get meat on his moustache.
Simon: (after Matt reveals the joint is his) What? You gotta be kidding.
Matt: Look Simon.
Simon: Man, I can't believe you!
Eric: (about the joint he found in the house) I just....I know it's Matt's.
Annie: If it isn't, and if you accuse Matt of something this serious, who knows what will happen. I don't think your relationship with Matt can afford to withstand any false accusations.
Eric: I can't believe you told Matt you did drugs.
Annie: I thought it might be useful! I thought you understood I was going to tell him!
Eric: I was never under that impression. We don't have to share everything with our kids! We don't share our sex lives with them!
Annie: I'm sorry! I thought maybe Matt wouldn't feel so far away from us if I told him! I had no idea he would throw it back in my face.
Eric: Well, that was another issue entirely. He shouldn't have done that.
Annie: Oh, I didn't think it would turn out this way. (starts crying) I'm just so disappointed.
Eric: Just answer me one thing, it will help me sleep better. Just tell me you wanted to get caught? Because you couldn't have possibly expected to get away with this. Or better yet, tell me why anyone could be so stupid as to do drugs in the first place!?
Matt: I don't know, Dad! Why don't you ask Mom? Maybe she can tell you!
Eric: Don't you dare bring your mother into this. Apologize right now!
Lucy: I don't know if things will ever be the same between Dad and Matt. Or even Mom and Matt.
Mary: Yeah, I mean, I don't see how they could be. It's like Wilson said. It's one of those mistakes that you can't take back.
Eric: What the hell are you trying to pull?
Annie: Eric, let's just stay calm.
Eric: No, I think I've stayed about as calm as I can, it's time for some answers. It's not enough that you're smoking dope. You had to bring it into our house! What if one of the other kids had found it first?
Matt: I didn't think--
Eric: That's exactly right! You didn't think because if you had thought for a second it would've occured to you that the look you just saw, on Simon's face is the look of a boy who just lost all respect for his older brother.
Eric: Because if you thought of someone other than yourself for one second, you would realize that the look you just saw on Simon's face is the look of a kid who just lost all respect for his older brother.
Eric: (ignoring Annie) Is this why you've never held down a job? Oh, cause here's something that doesn't take a whole lot of skill: a drug, a lighter, and a complete lack of self-respect!
Annie: If you're doing drugs, Matt, I want you to stop. If anything ever happened to you, I would never forgive myself.
Matt: Sounds like I'm already guilty.
Lucy: Mom and Dad are smoking pot!!!
Mary: No wonder Mom's so happy all the time. I mean, think about it! She's always in the kitchen baking something!
Simon: (to Ruthie) Let me show you a trick of the trade.
(pours laundry detergent into bra cup)
Simon: Just make sure it's one of Mom's bras. Otherwise you won't have enough soap to clean the clothes.
Ruthie: Why are you so mad, and why is Daddy shouting?
Simon: Because our big brother is a jerk, and a major loser.
Ruthie: But I don't understand. I love Matt. And he loves me.
Simon: I'll explain when you get a little older. Just go to sleep.
Eric: What were you thinking?! It's bad enough you're smoking dope, but then you had to bring it in here where someone else could find it...what if one of the younger kids had found it first?
Matt: I didn't think...
Eric: That's just it, you didn't think, because if you thought of anyone besides yourself, you'd know that the look you just saw on Simon's face was the look of a boy who has lost all respect for his older brother!
Simon: (Angrily) What?
Ruthie: Why are you so mad? And why was daddy screaming?
Simon: Because our older brother's a big jerk, and a major loser.
Rod: I would never smoke pot, I hear it lowers your sperm count.
Eric: Tell me that you wanted to get caught, because you couldn't possibly think we were that stupid that we wouldn't find out. Better yet, why don't you explain to us how anyone could be so stupid as to do drugs in the first place!?
Matt: I don't know Dad! Why don't you ask Mom, maybe she can explain it to you!
Eric: Don't you dare bring your mother into this, apologize right now! (Car honks horn outside waiting for Matt) Oh you're not going anywhere.
Matt Well I'm not staying here. (Leaves)
Kate Bosworth is an extra in this episode, She'll would later work with Jessica Biel in the 2002 film, The Rules of Attraction.
In Germany this episode is known as, "Large Children, Large Ones Concern", translated.
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