8 Simple Rules

Bridget: Well, Kerry hacks out all of your old love letters at parties! Cate: Your father and I have nothing to be ashamed of. Bridget: Oh, not those ones. The one in the box marked "Taxes." Cate: (To Kerry) You are in big trouble!

Bridget: What about the emergency credit card dad gave to us? Kerry: The one were only supposed to use in emergencies? Bridget: Hello! Emergency!

Bridget: I'll take my break, I'll buy you a cup of coffee. Paul: Okay, sure! Wait, you drink coffee?

Paul: Kerry, is Bridget's hair safe from bangs? Kerry: For now.

Bridget: Take a whiff of that! Kerry: Corporate America? Bridget: Normal people call it money.

Kerry: I can see Dad is really teaching you the value of a dollar. Bridget: Uh, yeah! Everything is forty percent off! Kerry: For the handiwork of starving third world children. Bridget: Forty percent!

Paul: What's wrong with Strip Rags? It's just a clothing store. It is just a clothing store, right?

Bridget: I can't pay this! They'll take me off to jail! I'll miss the prom!

Bridget: What do you mean a job? Kerry: A job is where people work.

Bridget: You can't buy happiness? Well he is so wrong. You see all of those clothes? Happy! The car I'm going to buy myself, so happy! The cool private loft I'm going to get the second I turn eighteen, out of control happy!

Bridget: (To customer) Yes! Turn around! We have [those pants] in all three colors! And that plaid shirt we were talking about, goes with all of them. Quick go back and change! It's getting hot in here!

Kerry: She cut my favorite jeans into shorts! Paul: Bridget, you're up. Bridget: Okay, here's the thing. I'm working the pep squad car wash today and I have no clean shorts to wear. Well, none that will look good on my anyway. And these are my jeans to begin with anyway that I gave to her, because I'm generous! Paul: Well, when you explain it like that, you're buying Kerry new jeans.

Bridget: Kerry, tried to cut a chunk out of my hair. Do you know how long it took me to grow out my bangs? Paul: Do you know how long it took me to pay for that T.V.?

Kerry: Rory had a snake in his room. Rory: Not anymore.

Paul: I wanted to take you to the bank to open up a checking account. Bridget: Boring. Paul: Savings account. Bridget: Boring. Paul: Start a new car fund. Bridget: You can do that? Paul: Yeah. Bridget: I want a convertible. I have the perfect hair for a convertible.

Paul: It's worth being lonely if it means I'm being a good dad.

Bridget: You get a guy who cries, you own him.

Paul: Poor Bridget... I made her stick out the whole shift. Do you think she's okay? Kerry: No, I think she's spoiled and her looks will fade.

Paul: You know, sometimes to save time in the mornings, I would decide what to wear and lay it out the night before. Kerry: So this is what you look like with a head start?

(Paul is giving a long family meeting) Cate: Paul, I have a turkey in the oven. Paul: No, you don't. Cate: But if I did, it would be done by now.

Paul: I said you shouldn't ask your mother for any money. Bridget: I think mom should make her own decisions. Paul: You know, your mother and I are a team, and you shouldn't play us off one another. Kerry: It's hard to argue with success.

Rory: (to Bridget) Why do you hate me? Bridget: Oh, I don't hate you. I loathe you.

Paul: Your mother and I want you to get a job. Bridget: Fine, I'll get a stupid job. Paul: "I'll get a stupid job?" Jobs don't grow on trees you know! Bridget: (on phone) Hey can I have job where you work? Okay cool see ya tomorrow. (hangs up phone) Not that big a deal. (walks away)

Bridget: (looks at the clothes on the floor) God! I hate it when people don't put away their clothes. Cate: I have no idea what that feels like!

Paul: Did Bridget do something? Kerry: A good sister does not tattle on her sister. Paul: You've been sworn to secrecy, haven't you? Kerry: A good sister does not tattle on her sister. Paul: Did Bridget use the emergency credit card to buy clothes? Kerry: (nodding) A good sister doesn't tattle on her sister.

Bridget: Is that a top from Striprags? Kerry: No. Shut up. (turns out light) Bridget: (stands up on bed) You know this means your one of us now. Join us, Kerry... Join us!!

(Kerry's looking at the shirts) Kerry: Hate it, hate it, hate it, hate it...cute! Cate: What was that? Kerry: I said puke...

Cate: Let's go see Bridget. (Kerry doesn't respond) Cate: It's her first day of work, she might be getting yelled at.

(Paul on the phone with Bridget) Paul: I'll get your DOB. Date of birth. Yes it does! That's what DOB means!

Paul: Hey hey no fighting...so close to the TV.

Paul: Bridget, you know, the first word you ever said was no. And now you act as if you've never heard it. It's a good word. NO NO NOO! You understand what I'm saying? Bridget: No.

Cate: Kerry couldn't find any jeans with character. Kerry: What's that supposed to mean! Cate: What's that supposed to mean! (Paul looks at Cate shocked) Cate: I know bad parenting.