8 Simple Rules

Cate: Rory, that girl will still be in detention five years from now. Rory: She better be!

Paul: You are kind of special! Kerry: Awww, dad, that means so much- Paul: Not right now, I need to go talk to your sister.

Kerry: Dad, notice anything different about me? Paul: Oh, please don't do this to me!

Paul: Could you knock? Bridget: Like I'm going to walk in on anything.

Paul: Make me look like Robert Redford. Bridget: You mean old? Done.

Principal Connelly: You may not respect the person but you will respect the blazer.

Paul: Are you happy that Bridget wants to go to beauty school with Rory's future wife? Cate: I would prefer she went to college. Paul: Then why are we even having this discussion? Cate: Because we're married. Because those are our children. Paul: You're gonna have to do better than that, Cate.

Bridget: I can start at $30,000 a year. Principal Connelly: Wow let me look at that catalogue.

Paul: Let me tell you a story. Your grandmother always cooked the pot roast in a little pan, so one day your mother asked her why. And she said, "Because that's how my mother used to do it." So to make a long story short, you're mother went to her great-grandmother and asked, "What's up with the little pan." And do you know what she said? Bridget: No Paul: I don't know either. But you're grandmother sure does make a grreat roast. Bridget: Oh yeah.

(Bridget slaps Kerry) Kerry: (voice breaking) What did you do that for? Bridget: I don't know, I saw it in the movies! Kerry: You do that when the person's hysterical! I wasn't hysterical, I was mad! Bridget: (hugs Kerry) I'm sorry! I love you so much!

Paul: 4? We've never been to 4, you're not allowed to go to 4.

Cate: Rory, let's go. Wait a minute, we didn't bring you! Rory Joseph Henessy, let's go!

Principal Connelly: (to Bridget) And keep working hard, uh start working hard.

Paul: A beatician? Cate: A facialist? Rory: A zit popper? Cate: Rory! Paul: Rory! Back off!

Paul: Remember one thing. Cate: It's not your fault? Paul: Damn straight.

Paul: It's obviously a forgory. Cate: No, they have your signture on record, after the girls' grandmother died three times this semester.

Paul: (confuesd) Did I just sign something? I did, didn't I? Rory: Oh dad.

Paul: I'm a concerned parent -- Father Bear, as it were. I just want the best for my little cubs so that one day they can spread their wings and fly. Principal Connelly: Yes, I too would like to see a bear cub spread its wings and fly.

(Bridget wrote Paul a note that said, "I HATE YOU") Paul: Well, that's clear and concise. You managed to convey a wealth of emotions in only three words. Bridget: My first draft was only two words.

Paul: Stop staring at that girl. Rory: I'm not staring. I'm trying to control her with my mind.

Kerry: (sarcastic) Why don't you just read my personal stuff over my shoulder? Bridget: Okay!

Bridget: You can't tell me what to do with my life, you're not the boss of me! Paul: Well, technically I am. I give you money once a week and I pay for your health care. Bridget: How do I quit?

Cate: I asked my mother why she cut the ends off her pot roast, and she said, "because that's what my mother did". So I went to my grandmother and asked why SHE cut the ends off the pot roast, and she said, "because that's what my mother did". So I went to my great grandmother and asked her why SHE cut the ends off the pot roast, and she said, "because the pan was too small". So you see, the previous generation isn't always so wise.