Kerry: I really don't eat red meat.
Paul:(Laughs) Of course you do honey, with the big fork.
Bridget: That's it dad, minimize what's important to Kerry. That's why she has low self esteem.
Kerry: I wish I had that big fork right now.
Cate: You're the adult here Paul! Why don't you call Carter and explain what happened?
Paul: Oh, yeah, that's a great idea Cate, "Here's the picture my son stole from your house, when do we start the book?"
Paul: Don't worry, I'll see myself to the door.
Cody Grant: Yeah, like I give a damn.
Carter: (to Paul) I thought my crew chief made it clear, I can't trust a guy who sneaks into my room while I'm showering and plays with my stuff!
Paul: You're not Carter.
Cody Grant: No, Carter's the white guy.
Carter: I've got a good, good feeling about this!
Paul: Boo yah!
Carter: 'Boo yah' is my word Paul.
Kerry: You're taking a pysch class?
Bridget: Excuse me, I'm taking it as an elective.
Kerry: Oh, I thought your electives usually involve clay.
Bridget: You guys are never going to believe this. I just took a quiz on the six main sources of self-esteem and I'm off the charts.
Cate: So where's your family tonight, Carter?
Carter: Wife number one is in Aspen with my girls. Wife number two went back to Italy with my boys. Wife number four, my current wife, she's vacationing with her mother in Martha's Vineyard.
Paul: What about wife number three?
Carter: We don't ever talk about wife number three. I love wife number four.
Paul: Did you see the size of the pick up parked out front?
Bridget: It's nice to see the new 2003 SUV "compensations" are out. You know what they say, big truck, little—
Cate and Paul: Bridget!
Cate: That's what it says in your [psychology] textbook?
Paul: Can you rent kids?
Carter: You know Rory, I run a program for at risk youth and I...
Paul: He is not at risk!!
Paul: You just cost me the book!
Rory: I think "boo yah" sealed that deal.
Paul: "Boo yah"? Idiot! Idiot!
Cate: Awwwww, Paul....yeah.
Bridget: Aren't you a little young to have all those wives? Sounds to me like you have some mother issues.
Carter: I want to take kids off the dangerous streets and put them into high performance race cars!
Paul: We all need to make a really good impression!
(Girls come downstairs fighting)
Paul: Can you rent kids?
Cate: Wow! A book!
Kerry: Yeah, because something more interesting than watching a car drive in a circle is reading about it.
Kerry: Don't mess with the middle child!
Carter Tibbits: That took a good size set of plums to come forward like that.
Paul: You're obviously a funny guy. I saw the stuffed deer with the sunglasses on my way in.
Carter Tibbits: Yeah, that was all me.
Paul: Hey, everybody, twenty bucks to whoever steals the best thing!
Bridget: But instead of directing that anger where it belongs, she's projecting that anger onto me, hence classic projection.
Cate: Is that right, Kerry?
Kerry: Bridget took ten dollars out of your purse.
Carter You're not half the man wife #3 turned out to be...
Paul: Girls say something nice.
Bridget: You're hot!
Bridget: I'm rebirthing you!
Kerry: It's a wedgie!
Bridget: Yeah, I know!
Cate: Girls - zuccunni or broccoli?
Bridget: For dinner?
Kerry No...she's making a hat.
Billy Aaron Brown does not appear in this episode
Re-aired: Tuesday, July 29, 2003 at 8:00 p.m. on ABC.
Tape Date: Friday February 14, 2003.
Cate: (to Bridget and Kerry) Mary-Kate, Ashley, shut up!
An allusion to the Olsen twins.