8 Simple Rules

Zac: (to Kerry) I was gonna ask you out but you can like now forget it.

Kerry: Zac, what's going on? We're out of fries again. Here's an idea: if you take a batch of fries out you put another one in. It'll almost be like we're in the business of selling them! God how did you get this job anyways? Zac: I was like I need a job, and they were like ok.

Rory: It's too much hassle to go to the Post Office. C.J.: It's even more hassle when people start cancelling checks, repossessing your couch, taking you to court, suing you forcing you to change your name to initials....everyone looks at him)..hypothetically.

C.J.: Bridget, I saw you swipe that drink Bridget: I didn't swipe anything, refills are free C.J.: No, No, Ma Barker let me tell you something, only free refills are free? Guess how much 35-cent refills cost? Don't get a brain cramp?

(C.J. explains his new job to the family) Cate: Wow, first college and now a job. Jim: You're almost ready for big boy pants.

Cate: And let's use the good silverware! Rory: Yeah, about that...

(Jim treats a customer better) Kerry: Grandpa, you handled that perfectly Jim: Oh, it's easy, Kerry. When I say "sir," I'm thinking "jackass."

(about Rory putting Bridget's comb online to sell) Cate: People will buy Bridget's hair? Rory: People will buy Jessica Simpson's hair.

ringing up a customer Jim: to himself Ah, what did I do now? $137.50, that can't be right. to the customer Just give me five bucks.

Customer: Ok well dude, let me have an Alamo Burger, dude. Jim: Ok, what happened to "please," dude?

Cate: Well let me just say it's great that everyone in the house is working. CJ: Yeah, except for Grandpa. Slacker.

CJ: Don't laugh at me...don't laugh...HEY, LOOK AT KERRY! (starts laughing)

Bridget: EW! RED HAIR IN MY BURGER! Jenna: EW! Kerry: 'kay, that's really getting old now.

(with a camera in hand watching Kerry at her first job, "Davy Crocket Burger") Cate: Say cheese...burger! Kerry: (to a customer) Shoot me. Shoot me now.

(about Kerry's trip to Europe) Rory: She just wants to see the statue of David's weiner. Kerry: Real mature. CJ: Yeah, Rory, come on. She wants to see his butt, too.