8 Simple Rules Season 2 Episode 15

Beth: (talking fast)
CJ: Weird girl! Too much energy! Can't deal with it!

(after Damian calls)
Jeremy: I gotta go.
Bridget: Jeremy it's not what it seems. Hot guys leave messages for me all the time!

Bridget: What's the matter?
Jeremy: Oh I'm worried about chemistry.
Bridget: Ok I know Damian's back in town and yes we have great chemistry but it is so over.
Jeremy: No I mean I'm worried about my chemistry test. But thanks now I'm worried about your old boyfriend.

Beth: (About Donny) He's got pecs that looked like they were carved by angels.
Kerry: Should you be talking about your brother that way?
Beth: Oh it's alright, we're all adopted.

Bridget: I don't hear guitars anymore.
Damien: Oh yeah? (he rubs a hard-boiled egg on his face)
Bridget: There's nothing sexy about a hard-boiled egg.
Damien: There is if you're deathly allergic.

(after Damien leaves Bridget riding off on his motorcycle, and after Jeremy broke up with her because of Damien)
Bridget: Goodnight, Damien. (to herself) Goodnight, Jeremy. I thought smart guys waited around.

Kyle: (to Bridget) You're still here? Do you know who's outside on a motorcycle waiting for you?
Jeremy: Damien?
Kyle: Woa dude, you're like super smart guy.

(Bridget kisses Jeremy)
Jeremy: Phew, I need punch.

Rory: Here grandpa, I got something for you.
(Puts a corsausge with a webcam hidden inside it on his suit)
Jim: Thanks, Rory. That was very thoughtful of you. Kinda sissy, though.
(CJ is viewing the webcam on Jim through Rory's computer)
CJ: No thank you, Grandpa Cam.

CJ: Dude, we're way down on hits. I won't be able to afford to make enough money to pay for my dorm.
Rory: That's your problem.
CJ: And I'll have to move back here and stay in your room.
Rory: That's my problem.
CJ: Woa hold on, awkward stage.

CJ: Wait, you went into your sister's room, stole her diary, and broadcasted it all over the internet?
Rory: Well, yeah.
CJ: Dude, soon you won't even need me anymore.

CJ: (to Rory) Nice, much better. Little comso girl, but I like it.

CJ: (to the PTA woman) Hey, you want me to walk you to your car?
Ms. McKenna: Sure ... What a gentlement.
CJ: Oh slow down, Scarlett. I just want a ride to my dorm.

Kyle: I gotta agree with Jeremy. Hobbits are not stupid!
C.J.: Hey, she has a name.

Bridget: I'm so excited for the dance this weekend, aren't you?
Jeremy: Oh, you know, I don't have the best experiences with school dances. Last one I went to, I spent half the night with my face in the toilet bowl.
Bridget: You weren't drinking, were you?
Jeremy: No, but I think the senior holding my head down was.

(After seeing Rory in a gorilla mask talking into his computer's webcam)
CJ: Rory, do you do drugs?
Rory: No.
CJ: For a second there, this all made sense.

Rory: Where did you get that?
C.J: From the Army. They let you take things home when you leave like, blankets, duffle bags-
Rory: Million dollar spy equipment?
C.J: Boots, food, trail mix that sort of thing.

Kyle: Damian's outside, Bridget he wants to see you.
Bridget: Well, if he wants to see me why doesn't he come inside?
Kyle: He says tough guys don't dance.
Bridget: Then why doesn't he just leave?
Kyle: He says tough guys don't leave.
Bridget: Doesn't he know I have a boyfriend?
Kyle: He says tough guys don't care.