8 Simple Rules Season 3 Episode 4

C.J.: How long have you been there?
Grandpa Jim: Oh, somewhere between 'How you doing babe,' and 'You put the fizzle in my dizzle.'

Kerry: Maybe I should just install a big silver pole in here!
Bridget: Now you're talking!

Kerry: Is there any part of my life you don't want to take from me?
Bridget: I don't want your hair!

C.J.: I hope I'm still getting dates when I'm [Grandpa Jim's] age.
Rory: I hope you get a date before you're his age.

Kerry: I'm the world's biggest hypocrite! I sold out everything I believe in for a guy!
Bridget: Oh Kerry! We are sisters!

Rory: I never called [sprinkles] "sprinkies."
Grandpa Jim: Yes you did! You think I'm going to forget the cute things my grandson said?
C.J.: (Running past Rory and Grandpa Jim) Take my place at speed dating, I'm on fire! Oh, sprinkies!
Grandpa Jim: Or maybe it was him...

Kerry: It's art, not a magic trick.
Bridget: I don't know, you sure made the people disappear!

Cate: Just imagine for a minute that you're Kerry, how would you feel?
Bridget: Oh my god! I would have the hottest sister on earth!

Bridget: Look, there it is. (refering to Kerry's box) Do you want to go in it?
Tyler: What? No, putting a man in the box would ruin the whole...
Bridget: I meant together.
Tyler: Yeah, okay.

Bridget: You know, we don't say this to a lot of guys but...
Kerry: (locks box Tyler is in) ...we really got you!

CJ: I'm serious, I want advice.
Bridget: What's in it for me?
CJ: First, if I get a date I'll be around here less. Second...
Bridget: Sold!

CJ: Listen, I'm doing this speed-dating thing and since you and I are the two most successful daters in the house...
Bridget: When was your last date?
CJ: ...Anyway, listen; I could use your advice.
Bridget: Change the pants, lose the beard, get a job, oh, and use a moisturiser.

CJ: Hey, can I talk to you for a second?
Bridget: Wait, this is very important; I'm playing match the butt to the teenage star...ten out of ten, I'm like a butt genius!

Kerry: Over there Grandpa, you missed a spot...To the left, no, to my left!!
Jim: Well, don't get snippy. You know in my day woman were oppressed but they didn't go down to the mall and shout about it, No, they ironed and drank in secret and everyone was happy, I know I was.

Kate: CJ, speed-dating sounds like something for desperate people who want to have a relationship without really wanting to get to know each other.
CJ: Hey, you don't have to sell me on it; I'm there!

Kate: What are you doing?
CJ: Filling out a questionnaire for speed-dating.
Jim: Speed-dating?
CJ: Basically you sit at a table at the mall and have a series of 5 minute dates with different women
Jim: And how is that different from all your other dates?
CJ: They ring a bell at the end.
Jim: But you still go home alone.

Kerry: Everything you do is to get the attention of guys.
Bridget: It's also to make other girls jealous.

C.J.: Okay with the bells!
Cate: There's no bell.