Paul Hennessy (seasons 1-2)
Cate Egan Hennessy
Special Guest Star
In this episode, Paul Hennessey (John Ritter) mentions the family lives on Oakdale Drive.
Bridget: (To Paul) Kyle can't even hold my hand without you thinking he's some kind of sex maniac.
Kerry: And God forbid Jason put his arm around me. It's like he's already got me pregnant and dropping out of school!
Bridget: And that'll never happen!
Kerry: Thank you!
Bridget: Kerry's so smart, she could graduate high school even if she had two babies!
Cate: You be nice to your dad today, he's got a lot going on at work.
Kerry: Dad's the problem. He won't even let our boyfriends come over for Thanksgiving dinner!
Bridget: Yeah, and like Dad's always telling us to feed the homeless. We don't even know them!
Paul enters holding his daughters boyfriends by the scruff of the neck
Paul: Cate, Cate look what I found out in our yard.
Bridget:: Put them down.
Kerry: Dad, your hurting Jason.
Paul: I told you if you feed them you'll never get rid of them…goodbye now
throws them out
Cate: Is that why you bought them in here so you could kick them out?
Paul: Ahh Yeah.
Kerry: Jason, have you met Kyle? Kyle, Jason?
Jason: Oh yeah, I think you shoved me into a locker at school? (Holds out his hand)
Kyle: Oh yeah, what's up? (Kyle and Jason shake hands and pound fists)
Paul: Bridget what were you two doing in the basement?!
Kyle: Oh relax Papa H we were just playing ping pong.
Paul: We got rid of that ping pong table a month ago.
Kyle: Oh well it was kind of hard to see with the lights of.
Bridget: Why are you getting all bent, Dad? Kyle and I were downstairs which according to the dictionary look it up is downstairs, it's a fact so no rule breakage! I need lip gloss.
(Paul is asking the boys why they aren't at home for thanksgiving)
Rory: Hey Dad, you forgot Kyle!
Paul: Thank you Rory.
Jason: Don't worry we can leave, Papa H. See, it just sounds stupid coming from me!
Paul: Oh God I am a..a...
Kerry: Say it.
Paul: Psycho dad.
Kerry: Cool! Say it again.
Nick: My experience tells me that all boys are after one thing...
Rory: Their skateboards?
Cate: I'm not in the mood for this, your dad had me up half the night.
Kerry and Bridget: Ew!
Cate: He had me tossing and turning.
Kerry and Bridget: EW!
Cate: He couldn't sleep.
Kerry and Bridget: Ohhh...
Jenna: Can I go to the mall?
Nick: No, you're grounded.
Jenna: For what?!
Nick: For going to the mall!
Paul: Beach, Care Bear, we always do pancakes and parade in our pj's. You know only things that start with p's.
Kerry: Like p-sycho dad?
Cate: Is that why you brought [Kyle and Jason] in here? To kick them out?
Paul: How many [teenage daughters]?
Paul: Four? I only have two, but it feels like four, so you have eight!
Paul: I just figured if I walked around the store, I would remember the important things.
Cate: Like a nutcracker?
Cate: Where are the eggs?
Cate: Paul, how could you forget the eggs? It was on the list.
Paul: The king is taking back his castle!
Kate: Uh, sire, prithee a word?
Cate: Where are the girls?
Rory: I think I saw them go upstairs, into their bedroom with Jason and Kyle, could be mistaken.
Paul: Kerry! Bridget! Get down here!
Cate: So you actually wait until they are in their rooms to rat them out?
Paul: So Kyle, how is school?
Kerry: Dad's mad at the boy for a change!
Cate: Kerry stop that! Although I should get a camera.
Nick: I don't know about any skateboard that you or any other boy I catch with my daughters left here. I also don't know anything about a scooter, a few bicylces or a Honda Civic 1978 in mint condition.
Rory: This isn't my skateboard. My skateboard's all beat up and...yah this one's mine thanks.
Paul: Well that was nice of you.
Nick: Yeah, well I found out that Katie was the one who initiated the kiss. Katie my (whispers) baby.
Paul: Well at least your baby was honest with you.
Nick: No, her sister ratted her out.
Cate: Did you get the whipped cream for the pumpkin pie?
Paul: Uh yeah.
Cate: Did you get the pie?
Paul: None of your business.
Paul: You're the psycho dad!
Paul: What happened to the no boys upstairs rule?
Kerry: I waived it for Jason.
Paul: Rory was caught kissing my boss's daughter.
Bridget: I am having the best day ever.
Rory: I didn't kiss her. She kissed me.
Kerry and Bridget: Ew!
Rory: I didn't even like it!
Kerry: Told you!
Bridget: I knew it!
Bridget: Get him dad! Ground him.
Kerry: Yeah, tell him you didn't teach him to act like this.
Bridget: Make him put on a different top!
Cate: Hey, honey. So you ready for your breakfast meeting with your new editor?
Paul: If by ready you mean panic-stricken with writer's block, yeah I'm ready.
Cate: Aw, good for you.
Paul: You don't listen to me, do you?
Cate: Aw, love you too.
Paul: So, Kyle... How's School?
Bridget: You can't pass on a question!
Kyle: I'm not good at school...maybe the next question will be about sports.
Paul: Okay...Jason, do you like sports?
Jason: Could I have the school question?
Bridget: Daddy, can the boys come over on Thanksgiving?
Bridget: Okay, can they come over on Thursday?
Paul: OK, I guess to make it fair. Kyle, why are you here on Thanksgiving?
Kyle: Umm...to tell the truth, we usually don't have a Thanksgiving Dinner.
Paul: (to Cate) Well, it is an over rated Holiday...
Cate: (in a low voice) Paul...
Paul: OK, I guess you can stay.
(The girls cheer!)
Paul: Kyle, I've known your dad for years and I'm surprised you guys don't have a Thanksgiving Dinner.
Kyle: Well my Mom usually serves the turkey around 2. It's more like lunch.
(Paul's talking on his cell to Cate)
Paul: No, Cate, he never showed. Some newspaper editor can't even make a deadline. I waited 45 minutes for the big jerk!
Nick: Paul Henessey? Nick Sharp, Big Jerk.
Paul: (whispers to Cate) Don't call him that, honey.
At the end of this episodes theme song, Rory sprays some green silly string spray at the camera before shutting the door, just like in the episode 5 Son-in-Law.
Re-aired: Tuesday, September 2, 2003 at 8 p.m. on ABC.
Tape Date: Friday, November 15, 2002
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