Bridget: Mom says I'm ready to drive.
Paul: Mom also thought I was ready for fatherhood.
Bridget: (about Kyle) I cannot date someone who works at the multiplex! Why can't he work somewhere cooler, I don't know, like a music store?
Kerry: Or a bookstore.
Bridget: Kerry, being serious here.
(After finding Rory spying in Kerry and Bridget's closet)
Rory: What? I come in here to think sometimes!
Paul: Get out!
Cate: You're the one who wanted to keep going until we had a boy.
Paul: The boy is fine, it's the girls!
Cate: Paul, what's wrong?
Paul: This is a bad place.
Paul: You have to stop that behavior over there right now!
Security guard: They are holding hands.
Paul: Can I borrow your pepper spray for a minute?
Tommy: In fact, I think he's friends with hot...
Tommy: Yeah hot Bridget.
Paul: This is nice.
Paul: You usually don't let me put my arms around you in public.
Bridget: Oh my god!
Paul: You and I are officially not friends.
Tommy: We were never friends.
Paul: Girls! Don't make your mother come up there!
Kerry: It must be casual sex day at school.
Bridget: At least I get...(Realizing Paul is here) look good.
(Bridget comes downstairs wearing revealing clothes)
Paul: Bridget, why are you dressed like that?
Kerry: It must be casual sex day at school.
Rory: Dad, do you think I'm pretty?
Paul: Kerry, sweetie.
Paul: Problem in the coven?
Rory: Where are you going?
Paul: You've got teenagers.
Tommy: Yeah but I've got the good kind, boys.
Rory: Hey, Dad, did you know Bridget's got underpants with leopard spots?
Bridget: Hey what are you doing snooping in my underwear drawer?
Rory: Showing my friends.
Bridget: We're the thong generation.
Paul: Well maybe that's why your generation is so angry. You're always walking around with a wedgie.
Paul: Okay, Cupcake, I think you missed the word "under" in "underwear" because I can see your bra and that slingshot you're wearing under your pants.
Bridget: It's a thong.
Paul: It's floss.
Paul: Good morning, Care Bear.
Kerry: Yeah, prove it.
Paul: You know this is a really bad day for me. I've got a huge deadline. Ed needs 800 words on the boat show at Auburn Hills.
Cate: I'll just tell the guy without a liver to hold on because there's a boat show.
Paul: I owe you.
Paul: You have other girlfriends Kyle and that's fine with me.
Paul: As long as it's okay with my daughter. Otherwise you will continue to date her and only her until she's finished with you. Because if you make her cry, I will make you cry.
Paul: (introduced to Kyle) Kyle, right. Just so you know Kyle, if you ever pull into my driveway and honk, you better be delivering a package because you're sure as hell not picking anything up.
Paul: I'm mad at you -- something you said.
Paul: "Let's start a family." It was a bunch of years ago.
Bridget: Did he just say 'scamming?'
Kerry: He also says 'chill.'
Bridget: Ew... Look at his pants.
Kerry: I know.
Paul: So you never really planned on going to the library, did you?
Kerry: Sure, she did! Right after her Mensa meeting.
(Paul finds a little white case in Kerry's room and thinks it is birth control)
Paul: Are you using these?
Kerry: My retainer? Yes. No, I'm not using birth control.
Kerry: I don't need birth control.
(Paul is driving the kids to school)
Bridget: Stop here.
Kerry: Ugh, do not drop us off out front.
Bridget: After we walk away, do not roll down the window and shout something out at us.
Bridget: Or honk.
Bridget: Or wave.
Bridget: And don't ever say 'you're welcome' like you're making some sort of brilliant point because we didn't say 'thank you.'
Cate: No, you're in charge of the kids today.
Paul: Oh, right! That starts today!
Cate: Actually, it started when they were born.
Paul: Rory, what's do you like about James Bond?
Rory: I like that he has a license to kill.
(car horn honks outside)
Paul: Yeah me too.
Paul: Bridgie! Care Bear! You forgot your lunches! You're welcome!
Paul: You should have seen the way my daughter dressed this morning.
Tommy: Which one? The hot one?
Paul: No! You can't call her that!
Kerry: Will you stop calling me that? Jeez, one Halloween costume at five and it sticks for life. Do I call you "Man with ax in head?"
Kerry: I just think it's funny that you're worried about me when Bridget says stuff like "I'm going to the library."
This episode was nominated for the Casting Society Of America's 2003 Artios Award for Best Casting For TV-Comedy Pilot.
Bridget is a year older than Kerry. However, Kaley Cuoco (Bridget) is 6 years younger than Amy Davidson (Kerry).
This episode did not re-air on 10/14/03 at 8pm. "Come and Knock on Our Door" did instead. However, This pilot was originally scheduled to air.
Re-aired again: Tuesday, October 14, 2003 at 8PM on ABC (Because of John Ritter's untimely death, they had to air reruns for a few weeks before they can "retool" the show without him :(
Re-aired again: Monday, June 30, 2003 at 8:00 p.m. E/P on ABC's special 8 Simple Rules Monday Comedy Showcase.
Re-aired: Saturday September 28 on ABC Family Channel, Tuesday December 3rd, 2002 on ABC.
This episode premiered on the same day as John Ritter's 54th birthday.
Taped on: Friday April 5th, 2002
17.3 million people watched the pilot episode, easily #1 for the timeslot and the entire night.
The show derives its name and some of its elements from W. Bruce Cameron's book 8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter. The rules are:
1. Use your hands on my daughter and you'll lose them after. 2. You make her cry, I make you cry. 3. Safe sex is a myth. Anything you try will be hazardous to your health. 4. Bring her home late, there's no next date. 5. Only delivery men honk. Dates ring the doorbell. Once. 6. No complaining while you're waiting for her. If you're bored, change my oil. 7. If your pants hang off your hips, I'll gladly secure them with my staple gun. 8. Dates must be in crowded public places. You want romance? Read a book.
Paul: Someone's not getting any Mickey Mouse pancakes today.
Mickey Mouse, created by Walt Disney, is the most recognizable cartoon character in the world. He has became the trademark for the Disney corporation.
Rory: He has a license to kill.
This is a reference to James Bond 007, a fictional British agent created in 1952 by writer Ian Fleming. Bond is featured in twelve novels and is arguably the most famous & most recognizable fictional character ever, due to the unparalleled success of his 21 films (1962-2006) including A License to Kill.
Paul: If you ever pull into my driveway and honk, you better be delivering a package because you're sure not picking anything up.
This quote is Rule #1 in the original "10 Simple Rules for Dating my Teenage Daughter" book.
Paul Hennessey: "...boat show in Auburn Hills"
Since Paul is a sports columnist from Detroit, he could be covering a boat show in Auburn Hills. Most likely at the Palace of Auburn Hills, where the NBA's Detroit Pistons play.