8 Simple Rules

Bridget: Kerry are those my earrings? They are! God, first you steal my popularity, and then my earrings? Kerry: You forgot about your boyfriend!

Paul: Stop fighting or I'm going to turn this car right around! Cate: Paul, we're in the living room. Paul: It's just a saying. Cate: It's a saying in a car!

Tommy: I'm being charged with sexual harassment thanks to...what's her name...boobs from reception.

Cate: I'm not pregnant. Paul: No? Kerry: No? Bridget: No? Rory: (Strumming on guitar) Nooooo!

Kerry: You're right, dad. Paul: I'm right? I'm never right!

Paul: Listen, your mother is the salt of the earth... Bridget: Ahhhh, salt.

Paul: You could have knocked. Kerry: It was seven in the morning! I thought you couldn't do anything until you had your first cup of coffee!

(The kids walked in on Paul and Cate being intimate) Paul: Bridget, could you please pass the milk? Bridget: You don't deserve milk. Paul: You could have knocked. Kerry: It's seven in the morning, I thought you couldn't do anything until you had your first cup of coffee. Bridget: Yeah, I mean there's already one baby. What are we trying to do? Make twins, geez. Kerry: Yeah, that's how it happens.

Paul: If your body's going through weird things, maybe it's just going through men, meh, meh.... many different things my child.

Bridget: Family meeting! Paul: You can't call...wait a minute. How come each time I call a family meeting...fine, go ahead. Bridget: Okay this meeting is in order. Have you no self-control, father? Can't you keep it zipped? Paul and Cate: Hey! Kerry: Yeah, I can't believe you two are having unprotected sex. Rory: (sings while strumming guitar) Unprotected sex. Paul and Cate: Hey! Bridget: I mean how would you like it if I came homes and said I was pregnant? Cate: Honey, it's a little bit different and let me tell you why. Rory: (sings while strumming guitar) Tell you why. Cate: Stop it. Paul you had to get him a guitar. Paul: You want the monkey back? Bridget: I can't believe my mother may be pregnant. I'm 17. When the baby's my age, I'll be… Kerry: Dancing around a pole? Bridget: Unpopular and a pregnant mother. My life is so over.

Paul: Kyle, tell me, what are your intentions with my daughters? Kyle: (Laughs) I can't tell you that! You're the father!

Bridget: Mom's pregnant? I'm too young to be a grandsister!

Bridget: This is the worst thing in the whole world! Paul: Bridget you shouldn't be eavesdropping! So your mother may be pregnant and.... Bridget: There it is. Highschool scandle.com. Bridget Hennesy is so five minutes ago! Oh my god!! Kerry: Bridget, you don't read that stupid stuff. Bridget: Oh my gosh, and it says 'look at her sister, she is so right now!?' Kerry:It does!? Oh my god!! This is so...wait a minute, mom you're pregnant? Bridget: Mom? You're pregnant? Rory:Wow. I can't believe this. Kerry's popular!

Paul: Don't worry, I'm giving her the big one. Rory, Bridget, Kerry: EW!!! Paul: It's a giraffe! Kerry: Don't name it!

Rory: Looks like we won't be walking in on you anytime soon.

(Damien walks in) Kids: (thinking) The New Kid... Bridget: (thinking) The New Kid... Kerry: (thinking) The New Kid... Kyle: (thinking) ...mmm! Pudding!