8 Simple Rules

(Kerry gets a better grade on her aptitude test than she thought) Bridget: So what'd I get? Cate: You got... a new Delia's catalogue! Bridget: Cool!

Paul: You know how I want my sisters to date the good guys? Well, I want you to be the good guy. Rory: You want me to date my sisters?

Kerry: This ain't over. Bridget: Isn't.

Bridget: Just do what I do and sneak out. Kerry: Oh come on! Don't do that or you'll be in even worse trouble! Bridget: Oh come on, who are you going to listen to, her or the smart one? Kerry: Oh please, you were bound to do well eventually if you gave a thousand monkeys a thousand tests... Bridget: Ah! That would be one test per monkey. Kerry:...a 92....

Cate: This is outstanding! I can't remember the last time you made the refrigerator door! Kerry: I can, it was in 2nd grade when she drew a six legged dog.

Paul: I'm with Bridget on this one, I don't place much stock in standardized tests. Cate: Well, that's because you didn't do well. Paul: I HAD PINK EYE!

Bridget: What is aptitude anyway? Kerry: Talent, skill and ability for learning. Bridget: Oh, got that question wrong.

Cate: Hey girls, get over here, you got mail. (Both goes over to computer) Cate: Paper mail? Paul: I could show you how to open it.

Rory: Hey dad, how do I look? Paul: Like a very nice young man. Rory: Oh man, now I gotta go change.

Paul: Do you think a lot of [kids] are, you know, sexually active? Bridget: Define sexually active. Kerry: (to Bridget) Do you want to be homeschooled?

Cate: (to Paul) You're chuckling a lot for a guy who's reading The History of the Cosa Nostra.

Tommy: Whoa little Hennessey. What do you say? You going to invite me in? Rory: I can't. My mom hates you and doesn't want you in our house. Tommy: Is that so? Her car's not here. Move it.

(Rory wants to go on a group date) Bridget: Let's just say by some freak chance [Sabrina's] not using you to make a cooler guy jealous or win a bet by dating uberdork, dad's never going to let you go. Rory: But it's with a group. Kerry: Dad didn't let me group date when I was your age. Bridget: Oh but in fairness, you had to be part of a group. Kerry: I had friends. Bridget: Yeah, they were one foot tall and stuffed.

Bridget: I should start wearing glasses and put my hair up because I'm smart and hot.

Rory: What did I do? Paul: What didn't you do? You were insulting Sabrina the entire car ride home and you just called her punk. Why? Rory: She doesn't like buttface.

Rory: You want me to go out with my sisters?? EWWWW!!!!

Bridget: Okay, okay, we'll help you. Shut the dork! (laughing)

Rory: Don't worry dad. I think I know how to treat (deep voice) the ladies. Paul: (deep voice) The ladies. (regular voice) What are you, Dean Martin?

Kerry: Oh, my god, you've turned into Bridget Bridget and Rory: Whatever!

Paul: Rory, I was gonna say something to you in the car, but I didn't want to embarrass you in front of your friend. Kerry: Favorite child! Bridget: Yeah, when does that matter?

Kerry: Yeah, like you can learn how to kiss by reading a magazine. Bridget: Well, it beats getting mirror burn. Kerry: Shut up!

Kerry: Rory's going on a date, Bridget's smarter.(slaps herself) Wake up, wake up, wake up.

Bridget and Kerry: Rory's got a girlfriend, Rory's got a girlfriend. Rory: I do not.

Rory: There's this friend of mine called... Bridget: Dork? Rory: No, and he lives... Kerry: Down the hall from us?

Rory: I don't want to tell Dad cause he'll go "Awwwwwww" Bridget and Kerry: Awwwwwwwwwww

Paul: I know, lo and behold... Cate: Is this going to be like the time you said "vis a vis" for six months?

Kerry: He's letting Rory get away with murder because he's the boy. Meanwhile, the three of us women are stuck in the kitchen. Cate: Yeah, but only one of us is actually doing anything.

Paul: Beach, that's exactly what I wanted to hear. Bridget: I know.