Paul Hennessy (seasons 1-2)
Cate Egan Hennessy
In an earlier episode of "8 Simple Rules," "Every Picture Tells a Story," Paul was offered the chance to write a book for Carter Tibbits, NASCAR legend, but Paul was turned down to write the book. But apparently, in this episode, Paul is writing the book again.
The opening sequence for this episode just shows the mat and the door, and nobody from the family.
Bridget: Kerry. Kyle.
Kyle: I, uh, gotta go to the other end of the mall...touch it and then come back.
Cate: (In a deep voice) Paul?
(Bridget gets a water bra)
Bridget: I am like so back on top with these things! (Bridget names her boobs) Hello, Mary Kate! Hello, Ashley!
Rory: Talk about a "Full House."
Paul: (about the pregnancy test) Kerry, Bridget...Beach, Care Bear...
Cate: (hesitantly) Paul... it's mine.
(calling Cate's cell phone which she left at home)
Paul: Come on pick up...
Paul: RORY GET OFF THE PHONE!!!
Rory: What happened to hugging me?!
Bridget: Being pinned isn't what I thought it would be. I'm lonely and I have two holes in my favorite dress.
Bridget: I've made my bed, now I have to let sleeping dogs lie in it.
Kerry: What are you doing?! You have a boyfriend.
Bridget: Oh, he's somewhere in Maryland doing pushups.
Kerry: Yeah, but that doesn't mean you can hit on Kyle. You can't have your cake and eat it too.
Bridget: I was just flirting! Besides, Kyle's like a "crash test dummy."
Bridget: Isn't that shirt a bit trashy and revealing.
Kerry: You have one just like it.
Bridget: Mine's blue.
Paul: I just got off the phone with Carter Tibbits, NASCAR legend. I'm writing his book, so no big deal. (Kyle and Rory ignore him and continue playing video games) Riveted I see. Ummm, we're having a disagreement. Now tell me, does this paragraph "suck" to you? "My diaper was a checkered flag. My bottle, a can of 50 weight oil and..." Oh it does suck!
Kerry: Oh my God mom! She's gone to the blond side! Now there's two of them!
Cate: I'm happy for her, I'm happy.
Kerry: Oh, mom, look at me. You're the sensitive one. You're smart and you have inner beauty and sooner or later, people are going to realize what they've been missing! (Cate just stares) Sucks, doesn't it.
Kerry: Aunt Maggie, tell us about your weekend.
Maggie: Well, I took your dad's advice and called up some old friends and they all told me to stop feeling sorry for myself.
Cate: I told you that too.
Maggie: Yeah, but they didn't use that tone.
Paul: Don't I know that tone! It's, uh, a guy at, work. Drives me nuts!
Maggie: I decided this weekend that I was going to change my attitude about everything.
Cate: Oh, uh, I'm so proud of you! And I'm just...happy you're...uh...look, I'm sorry Maggie but your breasts! You are at least a cup size bigger!
Paul: Try three cup sizes.
Kerry: Aunt Maggie?
Bridget: Aunt Maggie?
Paul: Oh girls, your aunt Maggie just looks three cup sizes bigger because she got a water bra.
Kerry: We were going to ask what she was doing home so soon.
Cate: Alright, there she is, be good! Oh wait Paul, I can feel a dark cloud on the other side. This must be how it feels like when death comes a knockin'.
Paul: A knockin'? Come on, I thought we were supposed to show some compassion.
Cate: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Paul: So come on, open the door and let Saddy McSad Sad in.
Paul: I can't say I'm entirely unhappy that Mr. favorite son-in-law couldn't seem to make his marriage work while second best Paul Hennessy has been able to stick it out all these years.
Cate: Stick it out?
Paul: Cherish! I meant cherish!
Rory: You're snooping around.
Paul: No, I'm parenting.
Rory: What are we parenting for?
Paul: Looking for something popsicle size.
Rory: Closet, top shelf, shoebox.
Paul: (opens box) This is Bridget's report card. I've never seen this.
Rory: Huh, that's not like a popsicle at all.
(Aunt Mary is talking her about her friends)
Kerry: That sounds great Aunt Maggie. I've always wanted a group of friends to share life's heartaches with.
Aunt Maggie: What are you talking about? We went shopping.
Bridget: That's what I do when I get sad.
Kerry: Or mad, or glad, or bad.
(Aunt Maggie is wearing a water bra, giving her ample cleavage)
Cate: Gee Rory, I thought you didn't like hugs.
Rory: Shh, I can hear the ocean.
Paul: DOYLE? KYLE? ... BRIDGET!
Kerry: What are you looking at?
Kyle: Uh nothing.
Kerry: Don't objectify me.
Kyle: I wasn't. I was just looking at your body.
Kerry: Well don't.
Kyle: Okay okay jeesh.
For this entire season, the show won the 2003 Teen Choice Award for Choice Breakout TV Show, and was nominated for Choice TV-Comedy. Plus, Kaley Cuoco (Bridget) won for Choice Breakout TV Star-Female, and was nominated for Choice TV Actress-Comedy.
This was the last season finale to feature beloved John Ritter.
This episode is the conclusion of the two-part episode.
Tape Date: Friday, April 4, 2003 (same date as Episode 27, part-one of the season finale).
Rory: Talk about a full house!: This is in response to Bridget naming her boobs Mary-Kate and Ashley, who starred as Michelle Tanner in the sitcom Full House which ran from 1987-1995.
Bridget: (giggling) "Hello Mary Kate, Hello Ashley."
(Estatic over the look of her water bra, Bridget names her boobs after the Olsen twins.)
The end of the episode features Rory singing a song that was sung in the movie Animal House. As in the movie, someone comes and smashes the guitar during the song.
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