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Cate: I guess we'll never know what happened.
C.J.: My guess, he started eating as a small child and never stopped.
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Rory: Come on C.J., just pass the ball around with me for five minutes!
C.J.: Are you kidding me? I don't have time for tomfoolery! (Walks out wearing a gas mask, pots and pans to deep fry the turkey)
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Bridget: There's two problems with principal Gibb. One, he's our principal, and two, he's Gibb.
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Kerry: That's all you can think of to be thankful for? Good hair?
Bridget: No, that's what I'm most thankful for.
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Cate: I'm thankful for my family. Even though Mom couldn't be here.
Grandpa Jim: That's what I'm thankful for.
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Ed Gibb: You have a very nice family, Cate. When they're not poisoning or punching me.
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Cate: Look at that. Grandpa got along with principal Gibb.
Bridget: Yeah, maybe those zaps shocked the grumpy out of him.
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Kerry: You were supposed to pick up vanilla.
C.J.: You can't get much more vanilla then Ed Gibb.
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Bridget: It says 'stink.'
Kerry: It says a 'stick' of butter.
Bridget: Nope, pretty sure it says 'stink.'
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Cate: What are you doing?
Ed Gibb: Oh, just watching the game.
Cate: You're watching a broken television set.
Ed Gibb: I'm a Lions fan. It's less painful this way.
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Rory: Sure, stick up for your boyfriend.
Cate: He's not my boyfriend!
Rory: Fine, your man-toy.
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Cate: I'm going to go relax in the living room.
C.J.: Not in the living room! That's where I'm deep frying the turkey!
Cate: In the living room?
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Kerry: We need something at the store.
Bridget: Yeah we need.. va... is that a "G"?
Kerry: It's an "N"! Vanilla!
Bridget: I'm not even gonna tell you what i thought that was!
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Jim: (tapping his cap) Come on, Lions! Come on, Lions!
CJ: Do you think you are really gonna help your team by fiddling your hat like that?
Jim: Tapping. I only fiddle my hat at half time!
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CJ: Excuse me, this was left within my TFSP, Turkey Frier Safety Perimeter. Anything left inside must be either removed or DFed, Deep Fried, stay close people.
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Jim: Oh thats suppose to be our best receiver, he couldn't even catch a disease in a horribly cold place!
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Cate: Are you sure there's nothing I can do?
Kerry: No, the whole point was you taking Thanksgiving off.
Bridget: Your job is to relax and do nothing.
CJ: Which, by the way, is harder than it looks.
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C.J.: If this falls over then it will explode so loud that even Grampa might hear it.
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Bridget: Don't forget about my Ferrari. Total loss.
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Cate: Damn. This Thanksgiving really does blow.
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Rory: Great. I can't play football. I can't watch football. This Thanksgiving totally blows.
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Cate: So sweet, so thoughtful. And really, really dumb.
Ed: You know, I am your boss.
Cate: (patronizingly) So sweet. So thoughtful.
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Cate: Are you guys fighting?
Bridget: No, I'm just training her, Mom. Jump, Scruffy, jump!
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Jim: Wouldn't it be safer to do it outside?
C.J.: What? Are you high? It's freezing out there! I said its freezing out there!
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Adjuster: So, I understand you were deep-frying the turkey and the oil caught on fire?
C.J.: Sir, that is a lie! And I will not stand that kind of character assassination. I am a man of deep...
Cate: (cutting him off) C.J., I already told him that the turkey fryer exploded.
C.J.: Oh... Well, yeah.