8 Simple Rules Season 3 Episode 13

Cate: Take a good look at the outside world, Rory. You won't be seeing much of that for the next month. And you are lucky that Ed Gibb is a friend of this family, and has decided that since you have no "priors," he'll look the other way.
Rory: Whatever, I'm gonna watch some TV.
Cate: Oh, no, you won't! No TV, no computer, no phone!
Rory: But what am I supposed to do for the next month?
(Bridget rings her bell as Kerry, now free of Bridget-duty, laughs)
Cate: Oh, there will be plenty for you to do.

Kerry: How will I do all of that? I have a life you know.
Bridget: Well, you should've thought about that before you whacked me in the leg with that crow bar! Ok that one was just for fun.

C.J.: Are you trying to bribe me?
Cate: What? With waffles and free juice just so you don't talk to Ed Gibb? I would never do that!
C.J.: Who's Ed Gibb?

CJ: (Taking a magazine from a boy) Oooh, I don't have the July issue. But now I do. (after confiscating a games console) Nintendo? More like ninten-don't. (Takes a note a girl is passing and reads it) "Do you think Billy likes me?" Do we have a Billy here? (Boy raises his hand) Do you like her?
Billy: Uh, no.
C.J.: Does anyone like this girl? (Boy in the back raises his hand) Not exactly Dicaprio, but I'd take it.

C.J.: (To the class) Read chapter 42, and study the robber barons. And tomorrow be prepared to answer, why they all look like the monopoly guys.

C.J.: Aunt Cate, am I hearing you right?
Cate: I don't know. Depends on what you're hearing.
C.J.: I'm hearing what you're saying, if you're saying what I'm saying.
Cate: Oh, you're hearing what I'm saying, if you're hearing what I'm saying.
C.J.: I'm confused.

C.J.: These just parts of this job I can't handle.
Ed Gibb: Oh my god! Mr. William's hit on you didn't he?
C.J.: No, that's not it, but yeah, he did.

Grandpa Jim: Stinky made me name one of my sons after him.
Rory: But you had two girls, Cate and Maggie.
Grandpa Jim: What's your mother's middle initial?
Rory: 'S', but she said it was for Stacy.
Grandpa Jim: Shhh...

Rory: It's not mine.
C.J.: It fell out of your test. It's your writing. It's on The Little Mermaid notepad I got you.

C.J.: I tried clearing my throat, nothing!
Ed Gibb: That's my thing. You've got to come up with your own signature.
C.J.: I can make one eye go lazy.
Ed Gibb: I wouldn't do that.
C.J.: I can do that and the zippy lip.

C.J.: Yo Yo, what's the 411? What's the dilo? Can I get a whop-whop?
Student: I thought you said your cousin was cool?
Rory: This is him being cool.

C.J.: In fact, just last night, I spent studying some algebra.
Ed Gibb: You're teaching American history.

Rory: I demand to be punished.
Ed: Okay. I kind of wish I had hadn't heard that.

Cate: Being an adult is about making hard choices. It's not about wiggle room. It's about doing the right thing.
C.J.: It's Rory.
Cate: Maybe there's a little wiggle room.

C.J.: You're kidding! My God, these kids are animals. No wonder the Japanese beat us to the moon.

Bridget: I can't tell anyone I slipped in the bathtub. My life is more exciting than that.