8 Simple Rules

Season 3 Episode 13

The Sub

Aired Friday 8:00 PM Jan 07, 2005 on ABC



  • Trivia

    • Bridget says what will she do with a computer, but in previous episodes we've seen her using computers. She frequently used Paul's laptop to check her email and to visit HighSchoolScandal.com

    • When CJ goes and confesses to Principal Gibbs about catching Rory cheating, you can see that Principal Gibbs is not doing a "word jumble", but instead is doing a word search.

  • Quotes

    • C.J.: (talking to the class on his first day as a substitute teacher) American history...is the history of America.

    • Cate: Take a good look at the outside world, Rory. You won't be seeing much of that for the next month. And you are lucky that Ed Gibb is a friend of this family, and has decided that since you have no "priors," he'll look the other way.
      Rory: Whatever, I'm gonna watch some TV.
      Cate: Oh, no, you won't! No TV, no computer, no phone!
      Rory: But what am I supposed to do for the next month?
      (Bridget rings her bell as Kerry, now free of Bridget-duty, laughs)
      Cate: Oh, there will be plenty for you to do.

    • Kerry: How will I do all of that? I have a life you know.
      Bridget: Well, you should've thought about that before you whacked me in the leg with that crow bar! Ok that one was just for fun.

    • C.J.: Are you trying to bribe me?
      Cate: What? With waffles and free juice just so you don't talk to Ed Gibb? I would never do that!
      C.J.: Who's Ed Gibb?

    • CJ: (Taking a magazine from a boy) Oooh, I don't have the July issue. But now I do. (after confiscating a games console) Nintendo? More like ninten-don't. (Takes a note a girl is passing and reads it) "Do you think Billy likes me?" Do we have a Billy here? (Boy raises his hand) Do you like her?
      Billy: Uh, no.
      C.J.: Does anyone like this girl? (Boy in the back raises his hand) Not exactly Dicaprio, but I'd take it.

    • C.J.: (To the class) Read chapter 42, and study the robber barons. And tomorrow be prepared to answer, why they all look like the monopoly guys.

    • C.J.: Aunt Cate, am I hearing you right?
      Cate: I don't know. Depends on what you're hearing.
      C.J.: I'm hearing what you're saying, if you're saying what I'm saying.
      Cate: Oh, you're hearing what I'm saying, if you're hearing what I'm saying.
      C.J.: I'm confused.

    • C.J.: These just parts of this job I can't handle.
      Ed Gibb: Oh my god! Mr. William's hit on you didn't he?
      C.J.: No, that's not it, but yeah, he did.

    • Grandpa Jim: Stinky made me name one of my sons after him.
      Rory: But you had two girls, Cate and Maggie.
      Grandpa Jim: What's your mother's middle initial?
      Rory: 'S', but she said it was for Stacy.
      Grandpa Jim: Shhh...

    • Rory: It's not mine.
      C.J.: It fell out of your test. It's your writing. It's on The Little Mermaid notepad I got you.

    • C.J.: I tried clearing my throat, nothing!
      Ed Gibb: That's my thing. You've got to come up with your own signature.
      C.J.: I can make one eye go lazy.
      Ed Gibb: I wouldn't do that.
      C.J.: I can do that and the zippy lip.

    • C.J.: Yo Yo, what's the 411? What's the dilo? Can I get a whop-whop?
      Student: I thought you said your cousin was cool?
      Rory: This is him being cool.

    • C.J.: In fact, just last night, I spent studying some algebra.
      Ed Gibb: You're teaching American history.

    • Rory: I demand to be punished.
      Ed: Okay. I kind of wish I had hadn't heard that.

    • Cate: Being an adult is about making hard choices. It's not about wiggle room. It's about doing the right thing.
      C.J.: It's Rory.
      Cate: Maybe there's a little wiggle room.

    • C.J.: You're kidding! My God, these kids are animals. No wonder the Japanese beat us to the moon.

    • Bridget: I can't tell anyone I slipped in the bathtub. My life is more exciting than that.

    • Cate: (to C.J.) In what world do teachers make "fat dollah" and what makes you think you're qualified?

  • Notes

  • Allusions

    • CJ appears at school to work as a substitute teacher dressed in a blue shirt/brown pants combo - the exact same outfit combo that Al Bundy wore as a shoe salesman on "Married With Children" which also starred Katey Sagal.

    • C.J.: Nintendo? More like Nintendon't!
      When taking a copy of Nintendo magazine from one of his American History students, C.J. says something that's probably as close as the show's going to get to a possible reference to his actor's campaign of Capital One ads. In these ads, David Spade plays a customer no-service representative who says things such as "Cabo? CabNo maybe!"