8 Simple Rules Season 3 Episode 22

Cate: Uh Rory I can still take you shopping if you want me to.
Rory: Look I don't care what any of you guys think. I like it and I'm wearing it to school tomorrow.
Bridget: Oh no no no no no no. You are not stepping foot in our school dressed like that.
Rory: Why do you care?
Bridget: Because unfortunately due to some drunken night 15 years ago, you're my brother.

Cate: We got you a little something in honour of your first day.
C.J.: Ooh new suit, new briefcase, maybe a speedboat? (Cate gives him a mug) Worlds greatest teacher, and that's what I'll be. Although I kinda wanted a speedboat.
Grandpa: Hell even I've got a speedboat

Cate: You've never been in the teachers lounge?
C.J.: No way they're super strict about it no subs, no students teachers only.
Bridget: Uh I've been in there.
Kerry: So have I.
Rory: Me too.
Grandpa: Hell even I've been in there.

Cate: So you're all grown up, you don't need your mom anymore?
Rory: Mom you know that's not true. I need you credit card.

Kerry: (sing song) You love her.
Bridget: (sing song) You wanna marry her.
Grandpa: (sing song) You want to have her babies.
Rory: Grandpa!
Grandpa: They were doing it, it looked like fun.

Cate: I think I'm hip enough to pick you out some fly gear.
Kerry: Mom, you're white and over 40, don't.

Jim: (About Edwards) You actually fought him?
C.J.: No, he made me eat a dozen cookies off the floor and I bumped my head getting up.

C.J.: It's go time!
Grandpa Jim: You're going to fight him?
C.J.: Is that what that means?

Cate: Girls, what have you done to your brother?
Rory: I don't need you to defend me mom, they're making me beautiful.
Grandpa Jim: Kind of a long process isn't it?

Grandpa Jim: (Rory comes down with a face mask on) Good lord son, why don't you just put a dress on and call it a day!

Kerry: (to Rory) You actually look like boyfriend material! If I weren't your sister I would...you know what I mean, barf!

Grandpa Jim: I wouldn't be surprised if you laid out [CJ's] outfit for school! (Cate is silent) Oh, Caty!
Cate: Just the first day! He wanted to wear baggy pants and a do-rag!

Mr. Edwards: [CJ] gets on my nerves!
Cate: He gets on everybody's nerves!

Cate: Wow! That bump is gigantic!
C.J.: Yeah, well you should see the other guy.
Cate: I did. Not a scratch on him.

Bridget: Yeah it's on the internet www.doofusontheflagpole.com.
Kerry: Dot net.
Rory: Dot org.
Bridget: Whatever! Just search doofus on the flag pole.

Mr. Edwards: I burnt my hand taking an apple cobbler out of the oven.
Cate: Maybe you should use oven mitts.
Mr. Edwards: They're for wimps.
Cate: And people who want fingerprints.

Bridget: Now Mom, give me your credit card.
Rory: For what?
Bridget: Potter, grab your broomstick, we're going back to the mall.

Grandpa Jim: What are you doing with the glasses? You don't wear glasses!
Rory: They make me look older and more sophisticated.
Kerry: They make you look like Harry Potter.
Rory: Shut up!
Kerry: Oh! Can you say that with a British accent?

Grandpa Jim: Cate, that is the dumbest thing I have ever heard! And I live in a room with [C.J.]!

C.J.: Oops! I broke some chicks fruity little puppy mug.
Mr. Edwards: That was mine!

Mr. Edwards: So, you're the class clown.
C.J.: Well, I prefer mayor of snappy-town.

C.J.: Oh My God! He's wearing boxing gloves! (referring to a bully)
Cate: C.J., those are oven mitts.
C.J.: Oh My God, He's wearing oven mitts!