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Paul Hennessy (2002-2003)
Cate Egan Hennessy
C.J. Barnes (Episodes 40-76; special guest before that, 2004-05)
Rory Joseph Hennessy
Grandpa Jim Egan (Episodes 40-76; special guest before that, 2004-05)
Paul: This is why I think kids shouldn't date at this age.
Kerry: Well you don't have to worry, because I'm not going on another date ever again!
Paul: Alrighty then!
Paul: Well, we lost Kerry, four out of five isn't that bad right?
Kyle: Yo Bridge!
Paul: Oh come on!
Bridget: I'm telling you Parker was totally flirting with me. At first I was like nuh uh, but then I realized he was kinda cute so I was like uh huh!
Kerry: I can't believe this. You won't let me go out with a guy I really like, but you let Bridget go out with some random pretzel guy.
Paul: He's not some random pretzel guy, he works at Banana!
Paul: What's new with my little family?
Rory: Well, no one loves your daughters.
Rory: I want to see 'Go Go Go' again!
Paul: What was it Rory? The emotions? The witty banter?
Rory: I liked it when the car flipped over, but he didn't spill his Coke!
Paul: Yeah, me too!
Paul: A father only has a few chances to put the fear of God into their daughter's boyfriend, this is one of them.
(Rory looks at Kerry)
Kerry: Shut up!
Rory: What? I just wanted to know how you date with Jason went?
Kerry: Oh it was fine.
Rory: Did you have to kiss his mom good night too?
Kyle: Mr. Hennessey, are you asking me to get back together with your daughter?
Kyle: Are you begging me?
Bridget: (Looking at photos) Here we are inside the mall, here we are outside the mall, oh, where is this?
Kerry: The mall?
Bridget: Oh, yeah.
Paul: I'm always nice! Now beat it!
Paul: This is nice, isn't it?
Kerry: Drop dead, I hate you.
Paul: You had me at drop dead.
Paul: Here's a thought, you could say, the whole thing was mutual.
Kyle: I'll say it if she'll say it.
Bridget: I'll say it if he'll say it.
Kyle: Are you really gonna say it?
Bridget: Are you?
Paul: Oh for gods sake, I now pronounce you mutual!
Bridget: Kyle, we have to talk.
Kyle: What's up?
Bridget: I went on a date with Parker Jarvis...
Kyle: Parker...you did...
Bridget: Yes, but it wasn't serious at all and-
Kyle: I break up with you!
Kyle: Yeah! I see where this is going! And I want credit for the breakup so I break up with you first. Later papa H!
Paul: See, doesn't the truth just feel better?
Paul: You haven't told Kyle about Parker, Bridget?
Bridget: Well, I can't tell Kyle! He's my saftey net!
Paul: I'm not lying for you!
Bridget: Is mom here?
Paul: Where are you going Bridget?
Bridget: Oh, Kyle's taking me shopping. If he asks where I was last night, do not mention I was out with Parker okay? Tell him I was over at Mannie's watching 'Bring it on' and then went to Mario's for pizza. No, no wait! Actually make that the smoothie shack for a Fro-yoo, and, oh wait I don't like 'Bring it on', that is so wrong. How about 'Dude Where's My Car?'
Bridget: I cannot date someone who works at the multi plex! Why can't he work somewhere cooler? Like, I don't know, a music store!
Kerry: Or a book store..
Bridget: Kerry, being serious here.
Bridget: My boyfriend works at a movie theater! This is so lame! Why wouldn't he tell me?
Cate: Oh, I don't know, maybe he had the crazy idea you'd judge him.
Kerry: Is that Kyle taking tickets?
Bridget: Please, my boyfriend does not work at a movie theatre.
Kyle: Welcome to multiplex theaters!
Bridget: Oh my god! My boyfriend works at a movie theater!
Kyle: Before I go how about a little sugar? (bends down to kiss Bridget)
Paul: Here, have a candy bar. (stuffs bar into mouth)
Kerry: Didn't we just hae family movie night?
Paul: No, Kerry, that doesn't count. In order for it to be family movie night, the family has to actually see a movie.
Paul: What are you watching?
Bridget: My social life being flushed down the toilet.
Paul: Is it any good?
Rory: What's for dinner?
Cate: Vegetarian meatloaf with polenta.
Rory: Can I have a Hot Pocket?
Kerry: You are so much cooler than dad.
Cate: Well it's not a competition. But if it was, I'd win.
Paul: You kids have fun. But no pulling over and parking somewhere.
Jason: No sir. I mean not with my mom driving us.
Cate: Maybe we should bend the rules just a little bit?
Paul: You know happens when you bend the rules? They aren't rules anymore. They're just bent things.
Cate: You know I would have said it differently, but you're the writer.
Kerry: Why don't you just lock me in my room?
Paul: Because your mother won't let me.
Kerry: Maybe I should be more like Bridget and dress like a lap dancer. Maybe I'm just not sexy enough.
Paul: Look, Kerry, you are plenty… Forget that. Let's talk about what's important. And it's not about your clothes; it's what's underneath. I mean -- no!
Paul: I was thinking, why don't we all go out for a pizza and a movie as a family.
Bridget: Why are you punishing us?!
Paul: Hey, Kyle
Kyle: Hey, Papa H!
Rory: Hey Kerry, that guy you like, Jason, he didn't call!
Cate: Upstairs Rory, no dinner for you!
Rory: Aw, man! And we were having vegetarian meatloaf with polenta!
Bridget: Ok, start at the beginning.
Kerry: Well we-
Bridget: Ok I'm bored, let's get to the good stuff!
Bridget: Did [Jason] make a move?
Bridget: Did he try to kiss you?
Bridget: Did he hug you really tight?
Bridget: Kerry, are you sure you had a date?
Rory: Kerry, Jason's on the phone.
At the end of this episodes theme song, Rory opens the door with a pair of glasses with eyes springing from it before shutting the door.
Re-aired again: Tuesday, August 12, 2003 on ABC.
Re-aired: Tuesday, April 22, 2003 on ABC.
Taped Friday October 28th, 2002.
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