8 Simple Rules

Paul: Well, we lost Kerry, four out of five isn't that bad right? Kyle: Yo Bridge! Paul: Oh come on!

Bridget: I'm telling you Parker was totally flirting with me. At first I was like nuh uh, but then I realized he was kinda cute so I was like uh huh!

Kerry: I can't believe this. You won't let me go out with a guy I really like, but you let Bridget go out with some random pretzel guy. Paul: He's not some random pretzel guy, he works at Banana!

Paul: What's new with my little family? Rory: Well, no one loves your daughters.

Rory: I want to see 'Go Go Go' again! Paul: What was it Rory? The emotions? The witty banter? Rory: I liked it when the car flipped over, but he didn't spill his Coke! Paul: Yeah, me too!

Paul: A father only has a few chances to put the fear of God into their daughter's boyfriend, this is one of them.

(Rory looks at Kerry) Kerry: Shut up! Rory: What? I just wanted to know how you date with Jason went? Kerry: Oh it was fine. Rory: Did you have to kiss his mom good night too?

Kyle: Mr. Hennessey, are you asking me to get back together with your daughter? Paul: Yes. Kyle: Are you begging me?

Bridget: (Looking at photos) Here we are inside the mall, here we are outside the mall, oh, where is this? Kerry: The mall? Bridget: Oh, yeah.

Paul: I'm always nice! Now beat it!

Paul: This is nice, isn't it? Kerry: Drop dead, I hate you. Paul: You had me at drop dead.

Paul: Here's a thought, you could say, the whole thing was mutual. Kyle: I'll say it if she'll say it. Bridget: I'll say it if he'll say it. Kyle: Are you really gonna say it? Bridget: Are you? Paul: Oh for gods sake, I now pronounce you mutual!

Bridget: Kyle, we have to talk. Kyle: What's up? Bridget: I went on a date with Parker Jarvis... Kyle: Parker...you did... Bridget: Yes, but it wasn't serious at all and- Kyle: I break up with you! Bridget: What! Kyle: Yeah! I see where this is going! And I want credit for the breakup so I break up with you first. Later papa H! Paul: See, doesn't the truth just feel better?

Paul: You haven't told Kyle about Parker, Bridget? Bridget: Well, I can't tell Kyle! He's my saftey net!

Paul: I'm not lying for you! Bridget: Is mom here?

Paul: Where are you going Bridget? Bridget: Oh, Kyle's taking me shopping. If he asks where I was last night, do not mention I was out with Parker okay? Tell him I was over at Mannie's watching 'Bring it on' and then went to Mario's for pizza. No, no wait! Actually make that the smoothie shack for a Fro-yoo, and, oh wait I don't like 'Bring it on', that is so wrong. How about 'Dude Where's My Car?' Paul: Enough!

Bridget: I cannot date someone who works at the multi plex! Why can't he work somewhere cooler? Like, I don't know, a music store! Kerry: Or a book store.. Bridget: Kerry, being serious here.

Bridget: My boyfriend works at a movie theater! This is so lame! Why wouldn't he tell me? Cate: Oh, I don't know, maybe he had the crazy idea you'd judge him.

Kerry: Is that Kyle taking tickets? Bridget: Please, my boyfriend does not work at a movie theatre. Kyle: Welcome to multiplex theaters! Bridget: Oh my god! My boyfriend works at a movie theater!

Kyle: Before I go how about a little sugar? (bends down to kiss Bridget) Paul: Here, have a candy bar. (stuffs bar into mouth)

Kerry: Didn't we just hae family movie night? Paul: No, Kerry, that doesn't count. In order for it to be family movie night, the family has to actually see a movie.

Paul: What are you watching? Bridget: My social life being flushed down the toilet. Paul: Is it any good?

Rory: What's for dinner? Cate: Vegetarian meatloaf with polenta. Rory: Can I have a Hot Pocket? Cate: No!

Kerry: You are so much cooler than dad. Cate: Well it's not a competition. But if it was, I'd win.

Paul: You kids have fun. But no pulling over and parking somewhere. Kerry: Dad! Jason: No sir. I mean not with my mom driving us.

Cate: Maybe we should bend the rules just a little bit? Paul: You know happens when you bend the rules? They aren't rules anymore. They're just bent things. Cate: You know I would have said it differently, but you're the writer.

Kerry: Why don't you just lock me in my room? Paul: Because your mother won't let me.

Kerry: Maybe I should be more like Bridget and dress like a lap dancer. Maybe I'm just not sexy enough. Paul: Look, Kerry, you are plenty… Forget that. Let's talk about what's important. And it's not about your clothes; it's what's underneath. I mean -- no!

Paul: I was thinking, why don't we all go out for a pizza and a movie as a family. Bridget: Why are you punishing us?!

Paul: Hey, Kyle Kyle: Hey, Papa H!

Rory: Hey Kerry, that guy you like, Jason, he didn't call! Cate: Upstairs Rory, no dinner for you! Rory: Aw, man! And we were having vegetarian meatloaf with polenta!

Bridget: Ok, start at the beginning. Kerry: Well we- Bridget: Ok I'm bored, let's get to the good stuff!

Bridget: Did [Jason] make a move? Kerry No. Bridget: Did he try to kiss you? Kerry: No. Bridget: Did he hug you really tight? Kerry: No. Bridget: Kerry, are you sure you had a date?