Cate: That agency took a beautiful, confident girl and turned her into a hysterical, dysfunctional mess!
Kerry: Throw in an eating disorder and she could be a model.
Jackie: I'm really good at these things! You're in sixth grade!
Rory: High school freshman.
C.J.: I'd throw it all away to do it again
Kerry: Throw what away? Your room in the basement or your box of dirty magazines?
Grandpa Jim: You want to end up like that crazy nut-bucket?
Bridget: More then anything!
Grandpa Jim: Of course you remember C.J.
Jackie: How could I forget? My receptionist is bringing him up on charges.
Cate: Are you two going to get back together?
Grandpa Jim: I don't see why not. I forgave the Koreans, I can forgive her.
Cate: Do you forgive mom?
Grandpa Jim: No.
Cate: You're not being very nice about mom.
Grandpa Jim: Oh right, the person who left me for Paco the Latin lover.
C.J.: Apparently grandpa and the head of the modeling agency had a fling back in the day.
C.J.: I know, gross right?
Grandpa Jim: I'm going down to that modeling agency to give them a piece of my mind.
C.J.: But you have so few left.
C.J.: You pretty thing, why are you cramped behind this desk when you should be out here with the rest of the models?
Receptionist: It's men like you that make me want to date women.
Rory: Where's your career now, big shot?
C.J.: In the toilet with the little sailor guy.
Cate: I don't like the idea of you sprawled out all over the hood of a car.
Rory: Better then in the backseat.
C.J.: Dude that's exactly what I was thinking. Nice! (Cate looks at him) But I had the good mind not to say it.
CJ: Where is the flare, the attitude, the passion...
Kerry: ...the intelligence, the pride, the self-respect?
CJ (to Bridget): Its a dirty, filthy, cut throat buisness. One minute you're pretty, great hair. The next minute you suck, split ends.
Bridget: You guys are never ever in a million years are gonna believe what happened to me at the mall today!
CJ: You flashed a thong to the guy in the food court and he gave you a free soda pop?!
Bridget And.... a total stranger came up to me and asked me to be in a commercial! (giggling) Oh its so good to be me!
Grandpa: I'm gonna go down to that ****ing agency and give them a peace of my mind. And if that make's me old-fashioned, I don't give a horse's patoot!
Rory: No. Saying "horse's patoot" makes you old-fashioned.
Grandpa: Well, how's this, sonny boy? I don't give a rat's a**!
Rory: That's good. But lose the "sonny boy."
6.71 million viewers.
Tape Date: October 22, 2004.
Title: Vanity Unfair
The title is in reference to the magazine Vanity Fair.
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