8 Simple Rules

Bridget and Kerry: (both yelling at each other) I'm gonna kill you!! Paul: Girls don't kill each other (still yells at each other; Paul waits a moment) At least I said it.

Paul: It was a very challenging day, Cate, and I must say I rose to the challenge. I think I should be inducted to the Father Hall of Fame. Cate: Father Hall of Fame and yet you couldn't put your dish in the sink.

Paul: Does everyone have a cell phone? How much am I paying for these? Bridget: Dad, you get the phones for free.

Cate: I just got here. I forgot to pick up my allergy medicine. Do you think you can drop by the pharmacy? Paul: Oh man. You know I hate picking up that stuff. Cate: No no no. It's really allergy medicine this time.

Cate: Keep Bridget off the phone and out of the mall. Paul: I'm a man, not a miracle worker.

Cate: Alright you guys look, I'll have my cell phone if there's any problems. Like if there's a fire and your dad won't get up. If a pipe bursts and your dad won't get up. Or locusts.... Paul: Locusts? I would get up for locusts.

Cate: Bridget, did you borrow my beige purse? Bridget: Yeah to go with my beige double knit jumpsuit.

Paul: Yes, I realize I am dressed up. But you see to a Michigan fan, football is a religion. And the Ohio State game, well that's our Easter.

Kerry: Where's your giant foam rubber Wolverine head? Paul: Don't be silly, you can't get those anymore.

(Bridget is deciding which pair of pants to wear) Kerry: Could ya take the fashion show outside? Those of us who can are trying to read.

Kerry: And you are gonna hate prison! Everyone is gonna be dressed like you!

Paul: I'm sorry. Kerry: For what? Paul: I don't know.