Erin "Silver" Silver
Harrison "Harry" Wilson
Dixon: Ooh, pancakes!
Annie: Throw me one.
Debbie: We do not throw food.
Debbie: Oh, I can pick you up tonight.
Annie: No, Silver's gonna give me a ride. I won't be home for dinner.
Dixon: Me, too. Peace.
Harry: Me, three. I've got a meeting with the teacher's union.
Dixon: Family night?
Annie: You want us to go bowling?
Debbie: Your dad and I would like to spend some time with you guys. I feel like we don't see each other anymore.
Annie: And we really, really want to hang out with you guys.
Dixon: Especially on a Friday night.
Annie: But... I have a date with Ty tomorrow night.
Dixon: And Navid's dad is showing the new Bond movie. Come on.
Debbie: Well, your Dad and I have tickets to the Hollywood Bowl, but we're not going.
Harry: No, we're not.
Debbie: Because we want to spend time with you guys.
Silver: (about Ryan) I think he has a crush on you.
Kelly: Oh, God, no. No, no, no, no. We're colleagues. I would never go out...
Silver: Good. This school's hard enough as it is without my sister banging the teacher.
Debbie: That is a skimpy little skirt there for bowling. You got a hot date I don't know about?
Annie: Can't I just look good for mom and dad?
Annie: Hey, where were you today? I was looking for you at school.
Silver: Fell asleep behind the biology lab.
Dixon: So, Ms. Silver, do you know how to bowl or, you know, are you too cool for that kind of thing?
Silver: I'm gonna kick your ass.
Ryan: I'm sorry I was late. Traffic was a nightmare. You know, this guy wouldn't move. I think I hit a squirrel. Did you get stuck in that?
Kelly: No, I live just down the street. I walked here.
Kelly: But, seriously, though, doesn't it freak you out that I have a child?
Ryan: Doesn't it freak you out at all that I am a child?
Kelly: The truth is Sammy's only met the one guy that I've dated seriously since he was born.
Ryan: And that would be... I'm just curious.
Kelly: His father. We had a lot of history in high school. Didn't see each other for a while, and then... hooked up one night four years ago, and...
Ryan: Sammy's dad ever see him?
Kelly: He did, in the beginning. Then we had some issues. Now he says he wants to get back into Sammy's life.
Ryan: And yours?
Naomi: Baby, you sound pitchy.
Adrianna: You sound bitchy.
Harry: Are we about to have that "I want to have another baby" conversation?
Debbie: No. But I may ask you for a puppy.
Ryan: You know, some day, I look forward to meeting Sammy, you know, when you think we've been dating long enough and... Not that we're dating...
Kelly: No, but...
Ryan: Oh, gosh, I wasn't assuming... that we were…
Ryan: Dating. So, what are we doing?
Kelly: We're colleagues. Hanging out.
Ryan: I'm just going to do this. (kisses her) Now are we dating?
Kelly: Oh, what the hell.
Dixon: Silver? What's going on?
Silver: I've been staying at the women's shelter for a few weeks now. I did some community service there this past summer, and there's this woman who... She lets me stay there sometimes. Sort of knows my situation. My mom, she drinks. When she's like this she's a completely different person. It's like... She screams. She throws things. She blames me. Sometimes she gets so out of control. I don't know… Sometimes it scares me.
Silver: Dixon, I didn't tell you so you would tell your dad. I'm already enough of a freak at school. I don't want all the other kids to know my mom's a drunk, too.
Dixon: You don't think I know what you're going through? I didn't grow up in the Cosby family. You think every other family I lived with was like this? No! I know what it's like to be around someone who's wasted out of their mind! I know what that stuff does to people. That's why I never do it myself. Silver, look, you gotta trust my dad. Or at least trust me.
Harry: Okay, well, Silver, you will stay here tonight. And as far as we're concerned, until we get this figured out.
Annie: Yeah, she can stay in my room.
Dixon: She can stay in my room. (everybody smiles) Just trying to help.
Harry: Your sister's still asleep. They went to bed late.
Kelly: Thanks, Harry, for taking her in last night. If I had known what was going on, if she had come to me...
Harry: She's a kid. She thinks that you hate your mother.
Kelly: No, I don't hate her. It's just... complicated.
Naomi: I went to Dad's office last night. And I saw him there kissing another woman. He was all over her. I'm so sorry, Mom.
Tracy: Her name is Gail. I know all about her.
Naomi: He's been seeing her for two years?
Tracy: Honey, she doesn't live in town, so they don't see each other very often.
Naomi: What's going on? Are you ending it? Are you getting a divorce?
Tracy: No. I don't want to break up this family.
Naomi: Mom, this isn't a family!
Tracy: Honey, Dad and I have a long history together, okay? We have two kids, two homes, friends. We have a life together.
Naomi: Mom, what kind of life is this?
Tracy: Oh, sweetheart... it's one that I don't want to lose.
Jackie: You can imagine my surprise when you called to say you were coming after. Well, how long has it been since our last altercation?
Kelly: I came to talk about Silver, Mom.
Jackie: Well, Erin is not here right now. She's staying at a friend's house, Naomi's, I think, or...
Kelly: Are you kidding me? Is that what you think? She hasn't been staying at a friend's house. She has been sleeping at a shelter.
Jackie: Well, she told me... Oh, how dare you give me that look. I didn't know.
Kelly: Why is that? Were you too drunk to notice? What is it these days Mom? Alcohol? Or are you back on coke?
Jackie: Oh, let's go to another meeting together again. Let's hold hands and give it up to our higher power.
Jackie: Your sister is just leaving, Erin.
Kelly: Yes, I am. And I am taking her with me.
Jackie: You have a four-year-old with nobody to help you unless by some miracle he has decided to come back and act like a dad. And now you want to add a teenager on top of it? Let me tell you, she is no walk in the park.
Kelly: Well, she's coming to live with me. Let's go.
Jackie: You lied to me and now you're gonna leave me?
Silver: Mom! Stop it, both of you! Mom, I can't take this anymore. I can't just watch you...
Jackie: Oh, get out! I am tired of both of you.
(Silver runs away)
Kelly: Good job, Mom.
Navid: Dude, it's simple, just tell your parents that you don't want to go.
Dixon: Look, I'm not trying to hurt their feelings, man. Just come to the bowling alley, tell them the thing about the movie. There's no way they won't let me go.
Navid: You sure it'll work?
Dixon: You know what? Bring a lot of people. It'll be harder for them to say no.
Navid: Peer pressure. Got it.
Navid: Hey. Okay, we're all here. Talk to your parents and let's go.
Dixon: Uh... wait. You know, we can't just leave. My parents will know something's up.
Ethan: All right, well, I mean, I'm always up for some bowling. That is, of course, if Annie's not too scared of getting beat.
Annie: By you? Let's do it. You're on.
Ethan: Excuse me, sir.
Annie: Sorry. Chicks versus dudes.
Dixon: You do not have your own bowling ball.
Navid: What? (Dixon leaves) What? It was for my bar mitzvah.
Annie: Go, Silver. Go, Silver.
Ethan: Really good try. I think I dropped it!
Annie: That's what I'm talking about!
Silver: And that means we just crushed you guys.
Annie: What? Hey, yo.
Ethan: That was impressive. Um, do you want to, uh, I don't know, get some air or something?
Annie: Uh, yeah. Yeah, sure.
Ethan: Awesome. Cool, yeah. Okay. Uh... yes.
Adrianna: Naomi, say something. You're freaking me out. Okay, I'm going to go get Ethan.
Annie: We were... we were just heading out.
Ethan: Cool. Yeah, I was going to go bowl some more.
Adrianna: Ethan, you've got to help. Naomi's freaking out in the parking lot.
Annie: What? What's wrong?
Adrianna: She saw her father with another woman. It's crazy.
Annie: to Ty I have to help them.
Ethan: Naomi. What's wrong?
Ethan: Come here. Come here.
Naomi: I saw my dad kissing another woman. I just... I can't believe it, you know. I can't.
Ethan: Hey. It's okay. I'm sorry. It's okay. It's okay. I'm going to take you home, okay?
Ethan: I'll take care of you, okay? Come on.
Annie: Yep, I'll bet your parents never make you do family night.
Ethan: No, not my family. Um, my parents are divorced.
Annie: They weren't when I met you.
Ethan: Yeah, it just happened last year.
Annie: God, I know so many people whose parents are divorced, but I think I would just freak if mine ever did.
Ethan: Yeah. I did. My dad's, like, "No, it's great. Now you're gonna have two bedrooms, two birthday parties." But now it's just, like, a competition between them over who can throw the bigger one.
Annie: Okay, I bet that doesn't totally suck.
Ethan: Well, you know... it actually kind of does. Anyway... I'm gonna save most of that emotional goodness for my audition for The Hills. So I don't want to bore you with that, but... you know, I do think that I could be the next Spencer. Oh, yeah. I don't know.
Annie: You wish, my friend.
Ethan: Yeah, yeah, I really do wish. (Ty appears) Actually... You don't believe me?
Annie: I don't know. I really don't know.
Ethan: I can Spence anybody. I can out-Spence anybody.
Annie: You can Spence anybody.
Annie: Ty! Hey.
Ethan: You should go. You have a date, right?
Annie: Right, um... I'll see you inside.
Ty: You ready?
Ty: So you're blowing me off tonight for bowling?
Annie: Oh, God, my parents are making me.
Ty: That sucks.
Ty: I really wanted you to see the pier.
Annie: Well, uh, we could...
Annie: I mean, instead of picking me up at home, if you just happened to, on your way to the pier, you know, maybe drop by the Lucky Strike lanes,and maybe I could get out early? I mean, how long could they bowl?
Ty: So I'll accidentally see you at 8:00.
Annie: Okay. Great.
Ty: All right.
Ethan: So, uh, any big plans tonight?
Annie: Oh, yeah. Big date.
Ethan: Oh, you and Ty...
Annie: No. Me and my family. We're doing Family Night.
Ethan: Family Night?
Annie: Yeah. They feel like they never see us, so...
Ethan: Well, you know, it's probably not total social suicide, as long as you go some place where no one from this school will see you.
Annie: Lucky Strike Bowling Alley?
Ethan: Oh, yeah, maybe someone from the Chess Club might still talk to you.
Ty: Hey, Annie. Ethan, what's up, man?
Ethan: Hey, man.
Ty: So, I got your text. Sorry you can't make it.
Ethan: Yeah. Uh... I got to go, so
I'll, um, catch you guys later.
Ty: So, are your parents still pissed I took you on a plane?
Annie: They'll get over it.
Ty: So, want to go out tomorrow night?
Annie: Tomorrow night?
Ty: Uh, there's a new band playing at the pier, it's gonna be pretty sick, if you want to go.
Annie: Yeah, I would love to.
Ty: Great. Um, 8:00?
Ty: All right.
Annie: Yes! (Very happy)
Ethan: Hey. (no answer) So what. You're ignoring me now?
Naomi: No, not at all. How can I help you?
Ethan: I just... you know, wanted to see how you were doing.
Naomi: Oh. I'm doing great. Thanks for asking. Is there gonna be anything else? Because I really have to get to class, and I have to make plans for tomorrow because my Dad's taking me to Vegas.
Ethan: So you're doing that
Naomi: Yeah. Of course. I wouldn't miss it for the world. Anyway, Coldplay's performing. My Dad's company's going all out.
Ethan: Sounds like fun.
Naomi: It's gonna be awesome.
Kelly: (to Jackie about Silver) I am not going to stand by and watch you do to her what you did to me!
Jackie: (angry sarcasm) Because your life was so awful!
Kelly: He's only four and he is reading all these words... I'm sure that this is really boring to you.
Ryan: No, it's your son, it's fascinating. I love kids, you know. I teach kids, I flunk kids, I want to strangle them sometimes...
"If You Can Afford Me" by Katy Perry
"Hey Hey Girl" by The Virgins
"All Over Me, All Over You" by BossHouse & Royston Langdon
"One Week Of Danger" by The Virgins
"All Coming Back To Me" by Intercooler
"I Thought About You" by The Beautiful Girls
"A-Punk" by Vampire Weekend
"Just A Little More Please" by BossHouse & Royston Langdon
"How Many Birds" by Benji Hughes
"The Kiss" by Karmina
"Better In Time" by Leona Lewis
Ann Gillespie returns as Kelly's mother, Jackie Taylor who was first seen on the original Beverly Hills, 90210. The return of Jackie's character marks the return of an old plot line first used in Perfect Mom: Jackie's alcoholism and drug abuse.
Naomi: (to Adrianna, referring to the takeout she plans on bringing to her father's office) I'm feeling NOBU.
NOBU is a highly acclaimed Japanese restaurant, named after its owner and executive chef, Nobuyuki Matsuhisa.
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