We closed last week with a super romantic ending featuring two of our favorite couples finally lock lips, with another potential super couple ascending the horizon. And as usual with prom episodes, all the drama happened anywhere but in the decked out gym. And nope it wasn't the bathroom either: crying girls in the loo is just so played out. This time the drama was in the parking lot as anyone who is anyone at West Beverly High knows. At last, Ethan and Annie gave in to their pent up emotions, as they lost themselves in their first (well technically second) kiss. And in a secluded corner, Ryan and Kimberly shared a passionate first kiss, the secrets and lies of the past forgotten as they blissfully embraced. Elsewhere, Navid swore his undying devotion to Adrianna, promising to do whatever it took to get her through this. Naomi promised the same, and Adrianna looked relieved to have two such people on her side. It was the perfect, fairy tale ending.
Ah, but it's a new week in Beverly Hills, and we all know that what glitters like gold is often a fool's nugget. This week we learn what comes after happily ever after as two brand new couples strive to hide their relationships from those around them. Yep, looks like Ethan, Annie, Ryan, and Kimberly will be doing some super juggling if they want to keep their romantic entanglements hidden from the gossip hounds at West Beverly Hills High.
We open this week with Principal Dad attempting to tell his children about their half-brother, who was given up for adoption, long ago. He can't seem to find the words and there is a lot of awkward silence. He glances at Debbie who gives him no help: Nuh-uh… this is all on him. He starts by telling them how he and Tracey Clark dated in high school, eliciting a grossed-out "Ew!" from Annie, who can't seem to restrain herself. There's a moment of amusement, especially on Debbie's end, but Harry turns the conversation back to the subject at hand. He explains about how Debbie chose to have the child, rather than abort it, and how that means they have a brother. Annie looks sickened and Dixon looks like he doesn't know what to think: suddenly Harry has a "real" son. What will this mean for the adopted son? The subject hits a little too close to home for Dixon, who announces he has to get to school and walks sullenly away. So does Annie, who can't seem to wipe that horrified look off her face. Honestly, the girl looks like she accidentally swallowed a leech. Unfortunately, that's almost exactly what has happened: the Wilson family is now forever attached to the Clarks, like it or not. Meanwhile, Principal Dad is finishing his speech. "I'm just really hoping this doesn't affect us in any way, okay?" Yeah, right. For a born and bred Beverly Hills native Harry sure is naïve. His kids look at him like he's nuts, Debbie smirks in the corner, and Harry gasps like a dying fish. Okay, maybe not that last part. Shell-shocked, the kids grab their stuff and leave for school, without giving their parents any sort of reassurance.
In the car, Annie mocks her father for his delivery of what is destined to go down as the worst "surprise-you-have-an-older-brother-and-you're-also-sort-of-related-to-your-boyfriend's-ex" speech ever given. Dixon wants to know why she's really mad but Annie doesn't have an answer for him. In cIassic wartime strategy she goes on the offensive, wanting to know why this doesn't seem to bother him at all. Dixon ponders this and admits that "it's freaky but I'm cool."
Annie meets Ethan by his locker and gives him the latest dirt. They talk about how weird it all is, and how she and Naomi are sort of sisters but not really, and then Annie decides to get all deep on Ethan. "We're kind of at a fork in the road here. I mean, should you and me be we, or should we be you and me. Ethan looks completely confused by her ramblings (and rightfully so!). Inexplicably, he stares over her shoulder at something (could it be cue cards?!) and then comes to a conclusion. He and Annie should keep their relationship on the DL for a few weeks, to give Naomi time to hook up with some other guy and forget all about him. Right – because everyone forgets their longtime ex in a few weeks. We're not all you, Ethan. After some coaxing from Nathan, Annie agrees to engage in some clandestine making out (to spare Naomi's feelings, of course!).
Meanwhile, Silver is planning a very un-Silver like slumber party. Apparently, while the Kelly's away, the Silver will play… and since it's her last parent-free weekend, she's determined to have some girls-only fun, complete with nail polish, hair spray, and peppermint schnapps. In keeping with her very un-Silver party, she decides to invite her ex-bestie Naomi, who smirks at the idea but concurs that it might actually be fun to have a night out with no boys and no drama. Um… no drama? Perhaps Naomi's never been to a slumber party before. She also invites Adrianna which should definitely up the drama quotient. After all, Annie and Adrianna never met a party they couldn't fight at.
Speaking of drama, Adrianna is back in school, and apparently she's all anyone can talk about. She's sporting a very early Lindsay look, complete with the hat, boots and the "I just got out of rehab" pale complexion. Everyone looks happy to see her, but only so they have fodder for the rumor mill. The only person who shows true enthusiasm is Navid, who appears bearing presents (jellybeans), compliments, and a shoulder to cry on if necessary. He's horrified that her favorite flavor is popcorn. As she explains, "It's buttery and delicious!" In what must be the worst pseudo come on line in history, he responds "Just like you!" Okay, then. Adrianna drops the bag in his lap and walks away smirking, leaving Navid to wallow in his humiliation. "Buttery and delicious? Seriously, Navid? Buttery and delicious? That's all you could think of?"
Well, Navid might not be able to think of a clever comeback, but Annie isn't speaking at all. At least not to Daddy Principal who thinks the school hallway is a good place for a father-daughter talk. After she ices him out, he tries to talk to Naomi who also gives him the brush-off, although not quite as brutally as Annie did. He is the principal, after all. She's already got a semester full of after-school detention; let's not add any more to it, eh Naomi? Anyway, Naomi catches up to Annie and the two discuss their new common interest: the brother they never knew they had. They also talk about how disgusting it is that their parents, who in the words of Naomi "did the nasty". Naomi tells her that Jimmy Choo's always makes her feel better when she's bummed. Annie thinks she means Chinese food and Naomi stares at her aghast. Annie, you're showing your Kansas again… They make a plan to go shoe shopping that afternoon because apparently Annie is the worst liar in the entire world and can't manage to tell Naomi she already has plans with Ethan. Ethan's not too happy to hear he's being blown off but does a rather hilarious rendition of Naomi and makes Annie practice how to tell Naomi she has already has plans, the next time this comes up.
Outside, the cutest couple who ever lived (Dixon and Silver) are on the quad studying. Silver, by the way, looks totally smokin' in a green ruffle top with matching earrings. For once, Dixon's constant smile is gone, a pensive frown in its place. Silver offers him a penny for his thoughts. This gets a grin from Dixon, who reminds her they are in Beverly Hills, after all. He should get a dollar at least. "We're in a recession," Silver reminds him. But all joking aside, Dixon's got some serious thoughts on the brain. He tells Silver that everyone always comments on how Annie sounds just like her mom when she laughs… but Dixon doesn't sound anything like his dad. Silver points out that he probably sounds like his real father. Dixon uses the opening to tell Silver the whole story of his birth parents and how he came to live with the Wilson's. He grew up with his grandmother. His father suffered addiction problems and wasn't in his life. When his grandmother died, he moved to Kansas to be with his mom. "Unfortunately, she was crazy, [and] not so big on taking medications. So long story short, Social Services came [and] took me away." He tells Silver he doesn't have any interest in seeing his birth mother again and that he considers the Wilson's to be his real family. Silver shows compassion for her boyfriend's sad story but he laughs it off. "I'm not gonna play myself a violin. Look where I live. Look where I go to school. And my super hot girlfriend. And my family, I mean, come on." They share a moment and he flashes that grin of his.
Elsewhere, someone else is flashing a flirtatious grin. It's Kimberly, sneaking in to see Ryan in his cIassroom. He tells her that school isn't the best place for them to rendezvous. Kids start spilling in to the room and Ryan changes the subject in a louder voice, so as not to raise suspicion. As Kim takes a seat, a male student leans over to let her know that he's managed to get a hold of some of those "party favors" they talked about. He smiles at her suggestively and she smirks back.
Meanwhile, Adrianna and Naomi discuss Silver's birthday party. Adrianna isn't sure she wants to go but Naomi talks her into it. Navid walks up and hands Adrianna a bag of jellybeans again – this time containing only popcorn flavored ones. He sorted them out into a separate bag. After he leaves, Naomi tells Adrianna that the boy has it bad for her. "Hello? It's either OCD or he really wants to sleep with you." As they flounce down the steps, Ozzie stops them and asks Naomi out for that night. She turns him down cold, but with a flirtatious glint in her eyes. As they walk away, Adrianna comments that she's torturing the boy. "Mhm. And I'm not stopping until he's sorting the Mike's from the Ike's and the Goods from the Plenty's."
At the Wilson mansion, Annie is packing for the slumber party at Silver's. Her dad walks in demanding to know why she spent so much money on a pair of boots. He finds out about the parent-free party at Silver's and refuses to allow Annie to go. Oh, and she has to return the boots. Annie is furious that he won't allow her to go, just because an adult won't be present. "When you were my age you were making babies!" She glares after him as he leaves and yanks on the boots, clearly having no intention of returning them to Jimmy Choo.
Meanwhile, Adrianna is coming out of her N.A. meeting and finds Navid waiting for her by his car. She's a little annoyed to see him, telling him she's over the whole "stalker" thing. He tries to convince her to go out for dinner; reminding her that he sorted her jelly beans… she owes him, after all. She takes this the wrong way and agrees to a date.
Later, the Wilson's walk into Annie's room and find it dark and empty. Harry is furious. This is the second time Annie's snuck out since they moved to Beverly Hills. Debbie wants to let Annie stay at Silver's for the night but Harry is all adamant that they go and get her. Debbie reminds him that they just dropped a huge bomb on their daughter and they need to give her space, and time to adjust. "You have to trust her," Debbie says.
At the same time that Debbie is telling Harry that they need to trust their daughter, Annie is taking shots at Silver's house with the other girls and generally acting completely untrustworthy. Silver knows her limit and stops, but Kansas has tossed her smarts out the window and is tossing back tequila like it's as harmless as water. Ah, well, we all have to learn about tequila the hard way, I think. Anyway, the doorbell rings and it's Adrianna, come to join the Sisterhood of the Traveling Tequila Shots. Annie throws her arms around the girl, completely oblivious to the fact that they're supposed to, well, hate each other. In an unbelievably self-absorbed, clueless, or just plain mean move, Naomi suggests playing a drinking game. Um, honey, your BFF of long, who just got out of rehab is in the room! Shouldn't you be putting away the alcohol and moving on to the face masks and pizza portion of the evening? Anyway, they all start playing a rousing game of "I Never", in which the player must drink whenever they, well, have. It turns out that everyone in the room is a virgin, except Naomi, who is stunned to learn Silver hasn't gotten sweaty with Dixon. This grosses out Annie, who objects rather loudly about the subject. For some reason involving matching nail polish Annie and Naomi decide to switch shirts and start taking off their clothes right in the middle of the kitchen.
Right in the middle of the shirt switch Ethan, Dixon, and a few others appear in the doorway of the house. A drunken Annie hugs Dixon and Ethan in welcome, but Ethan steps out of her embrace. Dixon is shocked to see his perfect sister drunk, and Naomi freaks when Ozzy appears in the doorway. "There's boys! Now I have to give a crap what I look like!" She rushes off to fix her hair and face and Silver (laughingly) scolds Dixon for telling people she was having a party. Suddenly the house is full of people and it's a full on major rager at the Taylor-Silver household. The kid from Ryan Matthews' cIass (the one with the Jack Nicholson eyebrows, who offered "party favors" to Kim, we'll call him Eyebrow Man) is there looking to score. It looks like he's got a thing for the undercover cop. He hands her a beer which she eyes skeptically. He heads off to find her something stronger and spots Adrianna. Perfect. He tells her they should celebrate and she shoots him down cold. "Celebrate what? Your testacles have finally dropped?" Oh… burn. Well, his crush on Kim must be pretty fierce because he doesn't walk away after that one. She does though. Points, Adrianna!
Naomi meets up with Ozzy in the kitchen, who is cooking. She's a bit stunned to find him cooking. He asks her is she's going to help him out and she laughs like he said something SNL worthy. Annie stumbles in drunkenly and Naomi introduces her to Ozzy and his friend Julio. She then proceeds to inform Annie that she needs to play wing girl… in other words flirt with the (not-so) cute Julio leaving Naomi free to hang out alone with Ozzie. She sort of agrees, while making eyes at Ethan over Naomi's shoulder.
In line for the bathroom, Kimberly steps up behind Adrianna and rather rudely asks her for her dealer's number. Adrianna informs her that she doesn't do drugs anymore but Kim doesn't let it drop. Adrianna gives in and writes down the number on a slip of paper. Afterwards, she walks alone through the party before meeting up with Navid on the stairs. He asks her if she wants to go somewhere a little more private, "Like upstairs?" A myriad of unreadable expressions cross her face before she says yes, but one thing is clear: if she sleeps with him it's totally going to be a case of obligation sex. Navid doesn't seem to pick up on her hesitancy though and follows her up the stairs eagerly. It's payback time!
Outside on the porch, Naomi lounges in a chair talking to Ozzy and enjoying the grilled cheese sandwiches he made them. They exchange some witty banter as well as a few smoldering looks. Naomi tells him he's not like anyone at school and he counters, telling her he's like a lot of people at school… "Just not anyone you hang out with." Naomi looks a little stunned that there are actually people at school outside of her crowd, who don't care how much their shoes cost or which salon gives the best highlights. The conversation takes a negative turn when he tells he doesn't go for game players (like her) and then Julio appears at the door, announcing that the party sucks and they should bounce. Naomi's annoyed that Annie didn't keep the boy busy. With a manic look on her face she goes on a hunt for her friend, who just so happens to be holed up in a bedroom with Ethan and a beer. Just as Naomi is about to catch them getting horizontal Silver rushes in and leads Naomi away, telling her how glad she is that she came to the party. Naomi's line is cIassic: "Well, that's pathetic." She smiles though, and the two frenemies walk away talking about what's been up, in the say four or so years since they stopped being besties.
Also holed up in a darkened room are Adrianna and Navid, who are watching something on television about sea turtles. Navid finally puts his arm around the girl. She happily snuggles in closer and then kisses his hand. She keeps looking at him like she expects him to make a move, and when he doesn't she gets a bit exasperated. Finally she takes the initiative and pulls him in for a hot kiss. Seconds later he's on top of her and they're making out like there's no tomorrow. Just as she's about to take off her clothes, Navid stops her, asking her why she seems like she's not into it. Adrianna laughs at him and tells him she wasn't born yesterday. He paid for her rehab, he wants to sleep with her, and she's giving it to him. "There's no such thing as a free lunch." Navid looks like he's been slapped and tells her that's not why he did it. "Is that the kind of guy you think I am?" He stands up and leaves. Adrianna sinks back against the couch, stunned that she was wrong and sorry to see him go.
Meanwhile, Annie is having a hard time of it. Ethan's left to get her some water and she's stumbling down the hall, where Naomi finds her slumped against the wall. Naomi tells her she doesn't get Ozzy and that she thinks she's going to try something different with him: honesty. "I'm sick of the lies. I mean, my dad's having an affair: no one tells me. Apparently, I have a brother: no one tells me. Everyone's so full of it. I'm sick of being lied to." While Naomi is waxing philosophical about truth and honesty, Ethan appears in the hallway holding Annie's water. Annie shakes her head at him to leave – apparently she's sober enough to realize that now is not the time to let Naomi know she can add Annie and Ethan to the list of liars in her life.
In the living room, the party is still going strong. Eyebrow Man walks up to Kimberly. He tells her he heard about some shirt swapping going on earlier, and does she want to swap shirts with him? "Only if I can do your nails and makeup first." Man, that girl is good. Not to be put off that easily, Eyebrow Man says "If that's what you're into." Um, ew. Apparently, Kim is as grossed out as I am, because she jumps up and says "Oh my God, get away from me."
Outside, Annie finds Ethan and tells him she can't go on lying to Naomi like this. It's wrong. Ethan suggests they talk about this tomorrow when she's sober. She angrily denies being drunk; then takes a minute to go throw up behind a tree. Sexy. Just what I'd want my brand-new almost boyfriend to witness.
While Annie is getting sick, Kimberly heads out to meet up with Ryan, who is parked down the street. He wonders if they should do something about the party, but Kimberly tells him she already called a colleague. He kisses her in the street, which is pretty irresponsible since they are only a few feet away from Kelly's house. Any number of students could see them. But only one needs to, and he does. It's Eyebrow Man who now has the goods on both Ryan and Kim. At least he doesn't know she's a cop… yet. And I'm pretty sure he'll use this to his advantage… after all hell hath no fury like a scorned jock.
Hell also has no fury like an angry dad. Principal Dad walks into the house to find an out of control party and a drunken daughter. Apparently, Harry was the colleague Tattle-Tale Kimberly called. Silver tries to assuage Harry, telling him that she collected everyone's keys and called a bunch of cabs. He just brushes by her to collect his daughter, who is in a heap on the ground. To his credit, he doesn't start yelling. He kneels beside her and gently cradles her next to him, feeling more sympathy than anger. When he asks her if she's okay, he gets an answer he's not prepared to hear. "No. No, I'm not okay. And it's your fault. I'm not okay with you having a son. I'm not okay that you kept him a secret for months and I know… I know that you didn't want it to work like this but it affected me. And you weren't honest. For two months you were a liar and now I have to be honest. And I have to tell you that it made me so mad at you for not being honest. Because secrets, they just make me feel so sick and wobbly. And everything's a big mess now. And I have vomit boots!"
After Annie's tearful, drunken speech Harry tells her how sorry he is that he wasn't honest and that he's not perfect. He lifts her into his arms and carries her out of the house. In a rather tender moment, she tells him that he reminds her of Superman (only not so big into the tights, thank goodness) and for the first time, these two actually seem like a real father and daughter instead of two semi-competent actors.
Well, it's a new day at West Beverly and Eyebrow Man is sitting in the back of Matthews' cIassroom, waiting for the room to empty. And finally we learn his name… It's George. How random is that? I like Eyebrow Man better. Anyway, he tells Matthews that he wants back on the lacrosse team and he wants Ryan to give him the grades he needs to do it. Ryan asks him why he would ever do that. "Oh, I can think of a pretty good reason."
Cut to Principal Harry's office where Ryan is shouting furiously. After all, George only saw them in a car together. Harry reminds him that teachers and students are not allowed to be alone together off campus. Um… Kimberly's not a student. Ryan says just that but Harry doesn't back down. He tells Matthews that he needs him to take a paid leave of absence. When Kim's work at the school is done, Ryan can return. Matthews is furious. This is his job… his reputation. Harry tells him that he needs to take responsibility for his actions. What he did may not have been illegal but it certainly was not appropriate. Ryan storms out of the office, leaving a somber Kimberly and Harry alone.
Meanwhile, Adrianna finds Navid sitting alone at an outside table. She apologizes for misjudging him and explains that she's been used and lied to by more seemingly "nice" directors than she can count. She didn't expect a truly nice guy to actually be interested in someone like her. He tells her that he paid for her rehab because he genuinely cares what happens to her, not because he wanted or expected something from her. Adrianna tells him she wants to be with him. He's blown away by this, especially when she tells him that "you're kind of an amazing kisser." She also tells him that he "doesn't have to do this. You can… you can walk away right now." Navid stares at her for a moment and then stands to gather his things. Adrianna looks crestfallen and bereft. But before he leaves, he stops to whisper something in her ear. "How about we walk together?" Her face lights up and they walk away hand in hand. Aw, don't you love a happy ending?
Another couple seems to be getting their happy ending too. In a deserted cIassroom, Annie is telling Ethan that she can't do this lying thing anymore. It's toxic. They need to just be honest with Naomi and accept whatever consequences come their way. Ethan gives in and they embrace… not the brightest move, considering the door has a see-through glass plate. If they want to announce their status on their own terms, it might not be a good idea to make out in full view of the hallway.
Speaking of the hallway, a vamped out Naomi is walking down it. She stops by Ozzie's locker to tell him she's decided she doesn't want to play games. He's not buying it. He tells her that's crappy "The 'I don't want to play games' game." Naomi insists she means it and comes out and says she likes him. He writes down his number and tells her to call him. "Don't wait three days, don't wait a week… just call me." As he walks away she pulls out her phone and dials his number. She walks down the hallway as it rings. Just as he picks up, she sees Ethan and Annie still making out in the cIassroom. Her smiles turns to a scowl and then a hurt frown. Ozzie's voice echoes into the void as she hangs up on him, stung by the devastating betrayal of her long-time love and her newfound (sort of) sister.