Stephen: I suppose, if I'm honest, I use my penis as a sort of car substitute.
Leslie: I blame television. I'm sorry but I do. Hugh: Oh, no, television. Don't, please, ... that awful Melvyn Bragg. Stephen: Oh Melvyn Bragg. Stop it at once. If I had my way with that Melvyn Bragg ... Hugh: No one would be in the least surprised.
HUGH: You know what makes me really mad? It's this belief I'm John the Baptist.
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