A Bit of Fry and Laurie

Stephen: I'll have to hurry you as you take your time. Just take your time. Very quickly.

Tony (Hugh): He said "rase." Bradley (Stephen): He did say "rase," Tony. Tony: "Rase" is an anagram of "arse."

Stephen: Why won't this frigging tomato behave?

Stephen: People always mock things that they can't understand. That's why they mock John Major being Prime Minister. No one can understand how it happened.

Hugh: From the tea plant, that's where we get tea from, is it?
Snutty: No, that's where we get cups and saucers.

Hugh: Instant coffee, instant traffic, instant hair, instant devolution of power to local government through the channels of tariff reform and the implementation of local weighting measures.

Stephen: I vote Conservative in elections, and if there isn't an election, I vote labour.

Hugh: Bitch Stephen: Come again? Hugh: My wife. Stephen: Oh, right. Hugh: She doesn't understand me. She's never understood me. Stephen: What, Polish or something, is she?