Absolutely Fabulous

Eddie: What you can't tell about a person from what they have chosen you to see on their coffee table isn't worth knicker elastic.

Gran: Nothing like a good old sex scandal. Bit more exciting than the ones in my day. Eddie: God, what was it in your day? "Woman shows ankle to chimney-sweep shock"?

Saffy: Well, make up your mind. One minute they're scum and the next you're giving them lunch and pouring booze down their throats in the great name of PR! Eddie: Booze? Booze, sweetie? Booze, darling? Is that what they call it down the Uni bar? Booze, sweetie? Is it? Will you be popping in there, darling, after a hard day's lecture for some half a pint of shandy-booze? Some pork scracklings?

Edina: They are trying to make out, darling, that Patsy is some kind of sex-crazed, morally corrupt, drunken high-class prostitute, darling! Saffron: Pretty accurate, so far.

Reporter: Is it a miracle that you are walking again? Patsy: It is a miracle that I can walk at all... I bless the wonder of life... and the newness of living.

Eddie (reading article): Patsy Stone… Forty seven. Patsy: Agghh! I'll sue! Saffy: Well, how old is she? Patsy: I'm thirty-nine! Saffy: And I'm an ovum.

Magda: If the models get any younger, Pats, they'll be chucking fetuses down the catwalk!

Eddie: Local? Local anaesthetic? Are you mad?! God, what is this? Eastern Europe?