Accidentally on Purpose Season 1 Episode 4

John: Are you pregnant?
Billie: Teeny, tiny bit.
John: Were you pregnant when we met?
Billie: Not as much.

Olivia: [James] mailed you the box? Ohh, that is the work of a breakup master!
Billie: So I've heard. Why did I date the breakup master? Why can't I meet the relationship master?

(talking about Billie and Zack)
Davis: Don't stress him out. She's not gonna try to marry him. She's just gonna mold him into a boring funless drone whose sole purpose in life is to accompany her to the fabric store! I mean, Shark Week? That's canceled. Peeing in the sink, finished! (to Zack) I mean, she's gonna have your balls in a bear trap. But other than that, you are all good!

Abby: What about Zack? Are you at least gonna tell him you're going to start dating?
Billie: Of course. (pauses) Now, I am.
Olivia: Do it with your top off. I've delivered a lot of bad news that way.

Billie: What are you doing?
Zack: I'm having a date.
Billie: Dates happen outside the home.
Zack: When you have money.

Billie: (talking to her sister on the phone) So... about my internet date, uhm, he's married. And on top of that, his wife is pregnant too, and we have the same doctor. And, I asked him to leave.