Ace Ventura: If i'm not back in five minutes...just wait longer!!
Melissa: Hi, I'm Melissa Robinson. Ace Ventura: Pleasure to meet you. Melissa: Did you have any trouble getting in? Ace Ventura: No, the guy with the rubber glove was surprisingly gentle.
Dan Marino: Hey Ace, got anymore of that gum? Ace Ventura: That's none of your damn business and I'll thank you to stay out of my personal affairs.
[Ace Ventura just got his car started] Ace Ventura: It's ALIVE. IT'S ALIVE.
Lois Einhorn: Listen, pet dick. How would you like me to make your life a living hell? Ace Ventura: Well, I'm not really ready for a relationship, Lois, but thank you for asking. Hey, maybe I'll give you a call sometime. Your number's still 911? All righty then.
[Lt. Einhorn is pointing a gun at Ace's head] Ace Ventura: [begging] Please don't kill me. I'll never tell anyone. Kill him, he's the one you want. Dan Marino: No, no kill him. Ace Ventura: No kill him. He held the ball wrong, remember? Come on, look at the guy. [Lt. Einhorne shoots into the air] Dan Marino: Cry-baby. Ace Ventura: Jock. Dan Marino: Whimp. Ace Ventura: Muscle-head. Lois Einhorn: SHUT UP.
Melissa: I swear if you do anything to embarass me this evening... Ace Ventura: What? Like this? [makes wierd noises,Doorman answers the door] Ace Ventura: Aye, Captain Stubing. How are Gopher and Doc? Permission to come aboard, sir!
[coming out of the men's room, all wet with his clothes torn] Ace Ventura: Do *not* go in there! Pheeww!
And my all time favourite...
[Ace Ventura is trying to get his car started, while looking at somebody smashing it with a bat in his mirror] Ace Ventura: Warning. **** are closer than they appear.
Okay, okay, i'll stop. These are just some of my fav quotes!! Other's have already been mentioned, and if you look at my sig you will find another.
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