ALF

Willie: I never got to sleep, I spent all night listening to the Ochmoneks snore. Lynn: They both snore? Willie: In a pattern . . . like a conversation. Didn't you hear? Lynn: Yeah, but I just thought it was the ice machine

ALF: I just wanted to be with the people I love. . . and get that toaster.

ALF: I trusted you to get my toaster. And I don't see it . . . let alone hear it.

ALF: I stowed away in Kate's suitcase. Kate: No, now I'll have your hair all over my clothes. ALF: Take it easy, your clothes are hair-free and hanging neatly in the closet . . .back home. Kate: What am I supposed to wear here? ALF: I love what you have on now

Bill: You should first enjoy some tennis, some swimming, and some fishing. And if you need me, I'll be following you in a golf cart.

Willie: The hotel is great, I keep looking for the catch. Bill: Hello, you must be the Tanners, I'm Bill Lowman, sales manager for Racho Estates. Willie: I was expecting you. Bill: No, no, Mr. Tanner. You we're expecting the hard sell. And there is no need to worry Willie: Good Bill: Because after you see this slide show, you will be begging me to sell you a home!

Trevor: This is your pilot speaking. For those of your with cameras on your left is the Tunga Toxic Waste Dump, I'm flying lower so you can get a better view.

Willie: Trevor wants to fly us to Rancho Estates ALF: Wait to go, Mr. O! Lynn: We don't have to see him in a bathing suit, do we?

Trevor: I'll fly you there for nothing, my friend lets me borrow his plane on the weekends. Willie: You're a pilot? Trevor: Yeah, I flew in Korea. Some commie put a flack in my ribs, you wanna see the scar?

Trevor: I noticed your garbage cans have been flowing over. Willie: Oh yeah, we've been throwing out a lot of magazines lately. Trevor: Oh yeah, these insert things were all over your porch and lawn. I kept the perfume samples.

Willie: I'm sorry ALF, but I am not driving 7 hours. Brian: You mean ALFer Willie: ALFer

ALF: This time, the ALFer's won stuff for everybody. Pony rides for Brian, tennis lessons for Lynn, dinner and dancing for you two, and best of all, for the old ALFer . . . a toaster (Silence) ALF: I guess you didn't hear me - A TOASTER! Lynn: We heard you ALF: Did I mention that the toaster talks?

Lynn: Here's your cappiccino ALF: Where's the grated cheese? Brian: I'll get it!

Willie: ALF! You didn't win a contest, you subscribed to hundreds of magazines! ALF: Oh, well, that explains this personal thank-you note from Ed McMahon.

Willie: You won a copy of Cat Lovers Monthly? ALF: Yeah, kinda a let down, no recipes.