ALF

ALF: I don't know what to say, I'm floored, I'm a god, I'm silly!

Kate: It's too quiet. Willie: For reading? Kate: No, for the house . . .where's ALF? Willie: I don't know, he could be resting, he could be reading, he could be carrying our towels through the den.

ALF: For cheek color, Terry suggests something like "Evening Lobster."

ALF: I'm a Terry Faith girl. Brian: I thought you were an alien. ALF: Why can't I have the best of both worlds?

ALF: Chores. Fine for the beaver, not for the tycoon.

Kate: We'll give you a few chores to do around the house, how would that be? ALF: You mean fluffing up pillows? Stuff like that? Kate: No, but you could help fold laundry, load the dishwaser. No, no, not that. We'll think of something.

ALF: No need to lay it out Kateski, I hear you loud and clear. I need to get a job. Kate: A job? ALF: Yes, a job, its nose to the grindstone time for this parasite.

Kate: I didn't know you could play the piano. ALF: Well, I was winging it, its tough to play without the red keys.

ALF: I'm starting to see what this is about. The fingers are being pointed in the direction of the furry visitor. You think I'm a parasite! Willie: No one thinks you're a parasite. ALF: Or a freeloader! Willie: Well, freeloader's closer. Brian: What about a sponger? Kate: Where did you hear that? Brain: Its what you called him last week! Kate: Let's just settle on parasite.

Willie: Let's move onto another problem - food. ALF: I'm gonna go get some cookies Willie: Now, I'm not sure all of us are aware how much food costs. ALF: Hey! We're all out of macroons! All we got are chocolate chips. Willie: Let alone, how much food we eat. (Everyone stares at ALF eating cookies) ALF: Is there a problem?

Willie: Why would you even turn on the dryer? ALF: To keep me company at night, why? Is 8 hours too long? Willie: Yes ALF: Even if I leave it on delicates?

Willie: Let's look at our electrical bill - its three times higher than it used to be. Lynn: Maybe its the porch light you leave on everytime I go out. Willie: The porch light is staying.

Willie: We'd like to get back to our meeting ALF: Oh yeah, the one I wasn't invited too. Willie: It's about, it's about our family budget. ALF: What did you think I was going to do? Dominate the conversation? Be a nusance? Willie: No ALF, nobody thought . . . ALF: Throw out a lot of useless suggestions, interupt everybody Willie: ALF . . . ALF: Never let anyone get a word in edgewise. Willie ALF, you can come to the meeting. ALF: No thanks

ALF: Hey, what's going on in here? Willie: We're having a family meeting ALF: Oh, I get it, freeze out the alien. Guess I'm not part of the family.