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ALF: (about Lucky, the cat) I'm reminded of a prayer he used to recite every night before bed: "And if I die before I wake, chicken fry me like a steak."
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Willie: (at Lucky's funeral) Don't you have any respect for people's feelings?
ALF: Well, excuse me, but where I'm from this is ludicrous! It's like having a funeral for a hamburger!
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Willie: Sometimes the best way to get over the loss of a pet is to go right out and get yourself another one.
ALF: Same as a wife!
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ALF: Have I ever lied to you?
Kate: Yes, several times!
ALF: I meant today!
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ALF: (to Eric, after ALF gets in trouble) You may be looking at the piƱata for your first birthday party!
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ALF: Does a condemned man get a last meal?
Willie: You just had it!
ALF: How 'bout an after-dinner mint?
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ALF: (stroking the kitten) You know, Willie, my mom was wrong! It is okay to play with your food!
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ALF: The Luck-meister is dead! This is indeed a very dark day for anyone who knew him, or chased him! Is the crock pot still under the sink?