ALF

ALF: Kate? If you were my age would you go out with me? Kate: Well, if we your age and if I wasnt married and if we were the same species, I guess so ALF: Really? Where would we go? Kate: I dont know, how about a Rocky film? ALF: No, he hasnt been funny since he broke up with Bullwinkle. What else you got? Kate: That was it, ALF ALF: It doesnt sound like you put much thought into this date

ALF: My grandma Shumway once said if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all . . .and then she never spoke to me again

ALF: What do Americans and Alicintarians have in common? Lynn: They both want world peace ALF: No! The Alicintarians have world peace! They all want shoes!

ALF: Whats the name of the dance where you clog up the sink? Kate: There isnt one ALF: I think we should call it the "Funky ALF"

ALF: Tell her why Kate Kate: He's an idiot ALF: Well, that clears that up

Kate: The Miss Southland Pagent? I'm sorry, you must have the wrong number ALF: Oh no, thats for me

Lynn: Dad, if you were my age would you ask me out? Willy: Well. . . .if I were your age and if you werent my daughter and if I werent married and if I had a car back then Lynn: See! Dad wouldnt even go out with me!

ALF: Cindy Bennett . . . is she the blond cheerleader in your yearbook? Lynn: Yeah ALF: Woah! (Kate and Willy glare) I mean, she's not as pretty as you