ALF

ALF: The only good cat is a stir-fried cat.

Jake: My dad could fix everything, especially horse races.

ALF: That Jake really grows on you, doesn't he? Brian: Not on me. Lynn: Don't you think he's a little rude? ALF (burps): Not particularly.

Jake: My motto is: if I can't fix it, it ain't broken. ALF: My motto is: I broke it. Jake: My Dad's motto is: I broke into it.

ALF: On Melmac we only had one guy who could fix things. We put him on display in a zoo, but the door to the cage was broken, so he just walked away.

Trevor: Hey Willie, can we borrow some of your tools? Willie: Sure, they're in your garage.

Kate: Children can be difficult but at least they don't shed in the milk. Raquel: I haven't heard that old cliche in years.

Trevor: Who is that comedian? Lynn: Have you ever heard about Jay Leno? Trevor: No. Lynn: It's Jay Leno.

ALF: Willie, what do you think about it seems a pizza in my mouth right now?

Raquel: What do you think of Jake? Kate: Well, I just met him, he seems . . . quiet Raquel: Well, Brian never says a word and you don't see me making a stink about it

Raquel: Jake just flew in from New York. He's staying with us while his father is away. Kate: Oh, how long will that be? Jake: Five years. Trevor: ...unless he gets time off for good behavior.

Kate: ALF, hide in the kitchen ALF: You know if you werent always sending me to the kitchen, I might not eat so much