ALF

Kate: Willie, isnt there someone we should consult about this? ALF: TAKE THE MONEY!

Carl: The thing I want looks like a spaceship Willie: Well, the spaceship is not for sale. . . Not that it is a spaceship, could be anything!

ALF: I'll slip out the sidedoor Brian: We don't have a side door ALF: Well, why not? Willie: Just finish your will!

Kate: Mom, is Nick a violent man? Dorothy: Yes, (glances at ALF) but he's fair.

ALF: You people are supposed to protect me from myself!

Lynn: What is it this time, food or money? ALF: Have I become that predictable?

Willie: He placed a bet with your bookie and lost six grand! ALF: When you say it, it sounds so sleezy. Kate: And now the mob is after him! Dorothy: Well, at least some good came out of this!

ALF: I, Gordon Shumway, being of sound mind and body . . . Willie: I beg to differ!

Nick the Fish: Come on ALF, just give me the 6 grand so I can go home and use the vaporizer. Willie: You think I placed a bet with you and now I owe you SIX THOUSAND DOLLLARS? Nick the Fish: Well, thats the GENERAL IDEA.

Willie: What bookie? (Doorbell rings) ALF: That bookie

Willie: Kate, no one's buying anything Kate: (snapping) I know that! Willie: Well, it was just an observation.

ALF: Kate, quick question Kate: Yeah ALF: Hypothtical situation. An indivdual places a bet with a professional bookie for a sizeable amount of money . . . say $6000. And he loses and he cannot cover his losses. Hypothtically, what could happen to this indivdual? Kate: Well, hyptothtically he could have his legs broken, why do you ask? ALF: Just making conversation

ALF: Keep an eye on #9 Willie: You mean the one who just fell? ALF: Yeah Willie: He's not getting up ALF: Well maybe he dropped something!

Dorothy: I think your neighbors are having a garage sale today too. Kate: You're kidding Dorothy: Yeah, they've gotta couple of beat up chairs and an old sofa out on their front lawn. Kate: Oh yeah, that's the way it always looks.

ALF: Let's see, 50 bucks at 6 to 1 odds . . . that means I've won 3 million dollars, wow! YE - no, what? 300 dollars?

ALF: Hello, is this the fish?

Dorothy: Where did you get 50 bucks? Have you been going through my purse again? ALF: Yes, but thats not where I got the money. By the way, you're out of tic-tacs.

Dorothy: It's my money ALF: But its our inheritance! Dorothy: For your information, I am planning to leave all my money to the alien task force!

ALF: Forgive my ignorance, but what's a bookie? Kate: An unsavory element ALF: Like oregano?

Kate: Mom, since when do you bet on horses? Dorothy: All my life. Kate: That's funny, I can't picture you at a racetrack ALF: I can picture her running! Dorothy: I wonder how long it would take to pull all the hair out of your body. ALF: About 2 hours.

Lynn: Dad, Mom wants me to sell Muffybear Brian: And Scooter! ALF: NO! Willie: Now kids, we have to be strong about this. (Kate walks by with a hockey stick) No, not my hockey stick, Nooo!

ALF: (About Willie's ship in a bottle) Hey! Are you selling that? Wille: Yes, unfortunetly ALF: Shame, it would have been a great bottle if not for the ship inside. Willie: It's a Nina! ALF: Sorry, on Melmac we didnt name our bottles.

Willie: So you understand what a balloon payment is (ALF nods) and you understand what a garage sale is. ALF: Yes, now would you please explain secular humanism again.

Willie: Look, we can't talk about this now, we've only got a week to get ready for the garage sale. ALF: You're selling the garage? Kate and Willie: No, no, no ALF: Well, thats good, we're going to need someplace to store that balloon!

ALF: (Reading the credit card bills) Is this correct? $11,000 for a balloon payment? Wille: That's correct ALF: Well, you're getting ripped off, you can get an entire package of balloons for 69 cents.

Willie: I say Kate, you aren't selling my ship in a bottle, are you? Kate: Hopefully