ALF

Willy: Oh, I know, I'll show you a mirror . . . ALF: Okay, maybe I need a shave. Willy: Is this the face of an insurance agent? ALF: Yes, I am no Bert Sidowski, but Bert Sidowski isn't in the Million Dollar Club.

ALF: Are you listening Willie? Willie: I liked you better as an alien . . you were annoying, but never boring.

Kate: Maybe we should get Wayne to give us ALF insurance.

Kate: Hello, Dr. Snegmier? Well listen, well doctor, it seems that a houseguest of ours has come down with amnesia. No, we can't bring him in, isn't there some kinda home remedy we can try . . . breathing into a paperbag. Lynn: What's he saying? Kate: Hitting him on the head with a rolling pin. No, I do not think that's funny. No, I do not watch The Three Stooges. Yes, I know I should. Okay, I think we're gonna try the hospital. Yes, I'm sure he has insurance. Thank you, buh-bye. Brian: Should I get the rolling pin? Kate: No, we can't do that . . . or at least we shouldn't.

ALF: If you are holding me for ransom, you can forget about it. My company has a policy of not negociating with terrorists! We do however, have many other policies you might be interested in Willie.

ALF: First you strip me, now you wanna keep me here. I've heard about this happening to other insurance agents. . .

ALF: Where did I put my coat? In fact, where did I put my pants? Oh my god, I'm naked! Lynn: Well, not to us you aren't! ALF: Okay, maybe you're free thinkers - I'm not!

Willie: So isn't it obvious you aren't this Wayne Schlagel? ALF: The only thing that's obvious are your minds aren't on insurance.

Brenda: Well, listen Buster. If you think I am going to wait around for you forever, you are out of your mind. You ask for a divorce tonight or we are through! ALF: Okay, okay, I'll ask her for a divorce tonight. . . man, you have a couple drinks and a few laughs, they think its forever. Willie: This has gone far enough. ALF: You obviously haven't met Brenda. Willie: Neither have you

Willie: ALF ALF: Wayne Willie: Wayne ALF: Willie Willie: ALF

Willy: Dr. Jeff doesn't handle this kinda thing. Brian: Then who does? Lynn: Dr. Demento.

Lynn: Dad, ALF took a fall in the hot tub and we think he lost his memory. Willie: Oh no . . . but we don't have a hot tub. ALF: Well, that's a good thing Willie, we don't cover hot tubs.

ALF: Why hello, you must be Mr. Tanner. Willy: Good guess . . .hmmmm, ALF! Lynn: You mean Wayne Shagele. ALF: Michigan Life and Causality.

Lynn: We aren't getting through to him, what are we gonna do? Kate: I don't know . . . just don't sign anything.

Kate: You are not an insurance agent, you are an alien from the planet Melmac. ALF: Sure, whatever you say, the customer is always right.

ALF: I'm talking about your future. I'm talking about an insurance plan that will fit your needs. Kate: I think he is trying to sell us insurance.

Kate: ALF? Are you alright? ALF: ALF? There must be some mistake. I'm Wayne Shagele, Michigan Life and Company.

Lynn: Any mail for me? Kate: Nope ALF: Any mail for me? Kate: Yeah . . .all of it. But ALF, I dont want you joining anymore record clubs. ALF: Fine, fine, fine. That reminds me. I need you to write out a couple of checks. One to Greenpeace and one to the Auto-club Lynn: You're a member of the Auto-club? ALF: I like the magazine. Kate: Well, I am not writing you anymore checks. ALF: Well, thats fine, I just got mine. Darn, I ordered sunrise . . .they sent me sunset.