ALF

Kate: Remember when you got a job doing phone surveys? How much did you make? ALF: Nothing. Kate: How many policemen came to the house? ALF: Eleven.

ALF: So you wanted to get rid of her! Is is because she drinks milk out of the carton? Willy: Of course not ALF: Phew!

Brian: (Eating Oreos) You know how I eat these? I twist off the top and lick off all the gooey stuff inside ALF: Really? Thats how I eat a jar of mayonaise

Willy: You know Lynn, in life we cant always get everything we want Lynn: Really Dad? Where did you go to college? Willy: Well, Amherst . . . My parents didnt have an alien!

Willy: We've had so many extra expensises supporting ALF. Food, breakage . . . food

ALF: Whats the matter? You arent happy here? It's Kate, isnt it?

ALF: Hi! No mail today. Lynn: Than what are you holding? ALF: Mail. . . I'm a terrible liar

ALF: Lingerie catologue! Kate, you saucy vixen, you!

ALF: What does e-e-n-u-i spell? Brian: Beats me ALF: Then what do we send you to school for? Brian: Beats me