ALF

ALF (walks out of the Ochmoneck's kitchen with a toaster oven in his hands) Willy: ALF, what are you doing? ALF: How long do you preheat this thing for a cat?

ALF: Do I smell bacon? Willie: No ALF: Well, I would like to.

ALF: Excuse me, but do you good people have a fork? Brian: Mental telepathy works!

TV Announcer: And 1, 2, 3, come on, trim that tummy, you can't hit the beach if you can't see your feet!

Announcer: Preet County Zoo, investigate the report of a missing tiger. Lynn: Oh my god, ALF! Willie: Even ALF would have more sense than to kidnap a tiger. Kate: Yes, come on Lynnie, lets drive around the neighborhood and see if we can find him. Lynn: But what if he's got the tiger? Willie: Well then, he shouldnt be hard to spot.

Trevor: Whats so funny? Willie: This toaster over, I mean, is it a toaster, or is it an oven? Trevor: Why are you holding our toaster oven? Willie: Have you ever just felt the need to hold something?

Willie: Hi Trevor, Raquel, I just came over to, I mean, I was hoping to get lucky. (Raquel stares) I mean, Lucky, our cat! Trevor: At this time of night? Willie: Yeah, its his first time away from home. Trevor: I figured, Raquel, get the cat!

Brian: I thought I wanted some milk, maybe ALF was calling me in my mind.

Willie: What's your mothers maiden name? Brian: Whats a maiden name? Willie: You know, its the name she had before she got married Brian: Kate!

Willie: If you're really Brian, whats your favorite food? Brian: Spaghetti. Willie: That's ridiculous Kate: No, that is his favorite food. Willie: I thought it was Lynn who likes spaghetti. Kate: No, no (Lynn walks in) Willie: Whats your favorite food? Lynn: I dont know! White boiled potatoes Willie: I thought you liked spaghetti Lynn: It's alright Willie: Alright? Lynn: It's fine!

ALF: Brian, its me, the old ALFer, the one who taught you how to read minds. In fact, I know what you're thinking right now. Brian: What? ALF: That you want to let the old ALFer out of his cage. Brian: No, it was a fork.

ALF: Now Willie, you are not, I repeat, you are not to let me out under any circumstances. Is that clear? Willie: Yes ALF: Good (goes into cage). Good, now let me out, I have to use the little aliens room. Willie: Oh! (opens door) ALF: What are you doing? Didnt you hear me, I said not to let me out under any circumstances! Willie: Well, I thought I, well, I thought I really had to go ALF: You got a lunatic on your hands, you need to be prepared for even the most diabolical circumstances!

ALF: Every year on March the second I got through a physiological change. Brian: What? ALF: I go goofy!

Kate: What do you have to say that's so important, ALF? ALF: Today is March the first. Kate: I hope it is not only that. ALF: It's not: Tomorrow is March the second.

ALF: You look a little different today Lynn: Well I . . . ALF: Didn't you used to have a moustash? Lynn: No, I got my braces off ALF: Didn't you used to have a moustash too?

Willie: ALF, you do not walk into other people's showers ALF: I didn't walk in, I just pulled the curtain open.

Willie: (Holding grocery bags) No, we're okay, don't get up. ALF: I wasn't going to. Brian: Guess what! ALF can read our minds! Willie: (struggling with the bags) He's not reading mine at the moment. ALF: Yes I am, I'm just ignoring it

Brian: Okay, guess what I'm thinking ALF: The 1927 Yankees Brain: It was a fork ALF: Didn't one of their pitchers throw a fork ball? Brain: I don't know ALF: Trust me, he did