[As we begin, Alfred is wearing a chef's hat and holding two ladles in an "X" in front of him]
Alfred Hitchcock: Good evening. Tonight we offer you a generous portion of mystery, a pinch of comedy, just a soupcon of a commercial, all seasoned by a few irrelevant comments from your host. As you may know, food is a hobby of mine. I don't claim to be an expert cook, but I am rather a good eater.
[As he speaks, he wanders to a table filled with test tubes and beakers]
Alfred Hitchcock: If you will wander into my kitchen, I'll allow you to watch me as I concoct some delicacy to tempt your palate. I cannot abide careless cookery.
[Alfred lays down the ladles and picks up a cookbook]
Alfred Hitchcock: Let me see. I've, uh, I've just added 10 cc's of sugar. All that is left is to add the white of one egg. And by the white, I do not refer to the clear gelatinous substance inside. Naturally, I mean the shell. This is where most amateur cooks make their mistakes. While you are waiting for me to finish, I suggest you turn your attention to tonight's story. It is called, Conversation Over a Corpse. It sounds like perfect dinner conversation.