Irene: I just can't convince Cecelia that Howard and I are very happy together. Most married men develop habits: some play golf, others collect stamps…Howard collects beautiful women.
Burnside: How original of him.
Cecelia: Well, it certainly is the most bewildering romance. A young, rich, handsome prince captivated by a not-so-young and extremely ordinary housewife. Why? I ask. Why?
Col. Blair: Perhaps he's attracted to her.
Cecelia: Poppycock. Irene's a dear, but she couldn't attract a mosquito.
Alfred Hitchcock: (He is caught in a huge spider web.) Good evening. Thank you for allowing me to come into your parlor. It all happened so suddenly. I was walking along when I heard someone saying: "Knit one, purl one", and I came over to see what she was dong. The really frightening part is that I forgot my hunting license. Oh, well, the show must go on even though I may not. Tonight's entertainment is entitled "The Legacy." Through it, you will journey to Palm Beach and rub elbows with the idle rich and members of the international set. But before we join these useless playboys of a decaying society, let us heed the advice of a man who is earnest, productive and steadfast. A pillar of our civilization and the sugar daddy of television: the sponsor.
Alfred Hitchcock: I suppose you're wondering how I escaped. Fortunately, my captor missed a few freudian overturns of our story, I should like to offer a brief explanation. Irene Cole was an extrovert, who suffered from a regressive libido, an oedipus complex, schizophrenia and an extremely low sales resistance. Prince Burhan's sports car was obviously the symbol for his mother. He always wanted to drive her mad and the accident wasn't caused by defective brakes at all. The automobile was psychosomatic, it has since undergone analysis and is now well-adjusted. I hope this makes everything clear. And now, before I return, my sponsor will indulge in a bit of symbolism of his own. For which I can offer no explanation. (Fade to commercial.)
Alfred Hitchcock: I hope you enjoyed that, I knew Freud would have. Join us again next week when we shall be back with another story. Good night.