Alias

Ariana Kane: (to Sloane) Contrary to what you tell your subordinates, we are not the US government, I don't need "Probable Cause" to go after Bristow, all I need is a hunch.

Ariana Kane: With whom have you had intimate contact with over the last 10 years Agent Bristow? Jack: I'm curious to see where you're going with this. Ariana Kane: More secrets have been revealed through pillow talk, than through torture, if there's a prostitute or stewardess out there you think may have heard you talking in your sleep, I need to know about it. Jack: There is one way for you to verify if my nocturnal activities are a security risk Mrs. Kane, but somehow I think we'd both prefer the torture.

(Sloane lays out a mission in the conference room) Sloane (to Sydney): That's why you're going in with Marshall. Marshall: Marshall who? (Marshall looks at everyone in the room, they all stare back) Wait a minute, what!?

(Will takes a CIA psychological profile test) Will: I can't believe some of the questions they asked: "If forced to chose, who would you rather kill? A) Your mother B) Your father C) Yourself." And "None of the above" wasn't even an option, I mean what the hell does that mean?

Irina (to Jack): Technically we may still be husband and wife.

(Sydney and Sark go on a mission to Paris) Sark: You know it's a pity we're traveling separately, we could've used the opportunity to get to know each other better. Sydney: Yeah, I'm broken up about that too.

(SD-6 fails to acquire the nukes in India) Sark (to Sloane): With all due respect Sir, could the leak have come from this office?

Jack: You were right. Although our marital contract was founded on fraudulent pretenses, it's still valid until it's annulled. Which means, technically, we are still married. Irina: Jack. Thus far, I've agreed to be debriefed only by Sydney. From now on, I'm willing to talk to you, too.

Will: You ever have a dream where you're back at school and they won't let you graduate because you failed a test? I had that last night. Vaughn: Well, we don't screen for general knowledge. It's strictly a psych profile. Will: So I can't fail but I can find out I'm a sociopath.

Sark: You're surprisingly adept at keeping your curiosity in check. Sydney: Don't flatter yourself. Sark: I'm referring to the fact that your mother and I worked together before I arrived here - before she... went into hiding. I learned a lot from her. In some ways, I think of her as a mother myself.

Vaughn: Oh, by the way, I'm meeting with Will tomorrow to help him prep for his psych evaluation. Sydney: Thank you. And I like it. Vaughn: What? Sydney: Your new suit. Vaughn: Oh. It's not new. I just... don't wear it that often. I came from a funeral. Alice's father died.

Sydney: Marshall has a photograpic memory. Once the files flash across the screen, he'll remember them. Vaughn: Yes, we know that. Sydney: I can't just give SD-6 a fake Marshall!

Marshall: You know what I always say - if it ain't Baroque, don't fix it!

Ariana Kane: I don't trust anyone who doesn't have the sense to know when he's being insulted.

Sydney: (to Will) But after Danny and what happened to you, I've accepted the fact that it's as a gesture of love to deceive the people I care about.

Ariana Kane: Men always call women crazy when they're caught with their pants down.