Alice, I Think

Season 1 Episode 6

Fifteen Minutes

Aired Sunday 7:00 PM Jul 16, 2006 on CTV

Episode Recap

In Finn's store, he's telling an unseen customer that this is the jock strap worn by Ross Regliabati when he won the Olympic gold medal; the customer disagrees, saying the snow-boarders don't wear jock straps. Finn sarcastically says he supposes the customer is the expert; the camera pans back and the customer is revealed to be Ross Regliabati, as Finn tells him, "your loss, pal." [Opening credits] Alice's video diary: she tells the camera that she once read that Andy Warhol once said that everyone would be famous for 15 minutes; as she talks, her father comes up and closes the curtains and turns off the lights, saying that the paparazzi are following him. Alice explains that it all started when her dad went to Finn's store... At Finn's store, Finn is on the phone, clearly having an argument with someone over who gets what records in their collection; he hangs up and tells John that he's just broken up with his boyfriend, who is also the model for the Spring flyer, which is to be shot tomorrow, so he needs another model immediately. John makes some suggestions, which Finn rejects, but when John puts his hand to his chin to think, Finn has an inspiration: he asks John to be the model for him. At home, in the kitchen, Diane tells them that she's excited for John, and has some news herself: she's employee of the month, and Mac won the science fair today. John tries to include Alice, but can't come up with anything, until Mac points out that she set the table, and likes how she positioned the spoons. They all toast each other. In the living room, as they all watch television, Alice wonders when her turn for 15 minutes of fame will come. Outside, Alice tells Mac that she's trying to break the hula hoop record, and that she's been doing it for 5 minutes. He tells her that she only has 89 hours and 55 minutes to go, as the world record is 90 hours. Alice gives up in exasperation. Walking down the street, Alice tells Mac that she can chew gum for 8 hours, and it can't be that hard. Mac warns her to pace herself, then heads off. Alice sees Linda beating up another teen in an alley, and has a flashback to the first time they met in grade 1, when Linda threw a rock at her. Alice quickly jumps back out of sight and tries to walk by the alleyway by hiding behind other people but it doesn't quite work out for her. Linda sees her; Alice tries to make smalltalk, saying she hasn't seen Linda since she beat up Diane (in Aubrey?); Linda asks where she's been hiding, then stops her from leaving and begins punching Alice, knocking her to the ground. The fight is broken up by a burly man, who pulls Linda off of Alice; Alice imagines hitting Linda, but runs off instead. At Finn's shop, Finn gets John ready for the photo shoot as they wait for Nikolai, the photographer. Finn does John's hair and make-up, saying that he wants John to look classy. Nikolai finally shows up and is in a hurry, as he has an assignment for the newspaper, so he needs to move things along. We see shots of John, some in appropriate poses, others in very inappropriate poses, as Finn encourages him. At the house, John tells the family that he was born for this, and explains how exhausting it all was. Diane asks how much he got paid as Alice peeks in through the doorway. She sneaks back into the bathroom to look at her face, and in an inset box, she explains that Linda had really done a number on her face, which is all bloody and bruised. She feels it would not be fair not to share the full visual impact with the rest of the family. She comes out of the bathroom; the rest of the family is shocked at her appearance, and John takes her to the bathroom to clean her up. Alice's Video Diary: Alice tells us that they called the police to press charges, but Linda had already left town, in a stolen vehicle. Cut to: Linda driving down the road in a golf cart. In Finn's store, he's looking at the flyer which features a shot of John looking into his swimming trunks; Finn is angry, but John comes in all excited. Finn tries to explain, but when he realizes that John's not upset (Up up and away, 5th dimension), he gives him all the flyers, which John takes and begins handing out on the street, as he smiles and poses for various pedestrians. Alice, also walking down the street, is getting a very different reaction from people: she's being stared and pointed at, as people gawk at her face in horror. Alice, however, is happy, as she's finally getting her 15 minutes of fame. At the ice cream stand, Gus gives her a popsicle for free; Alice realizes that her face can benefit her. At T.I.T., Alice describes the blows to her fellow teens in transition, Violet and Seth. Bob comes in, and is horrified when he sees Alice's face, practically falling back into his office. At the bookstore, Diane hangs her "Employee of the Month" picture; John tells her that everyone in town has seen the flyer, and it's nice being recognized; in fact, he got a free refill at the coffee shop. Cut to: John comes out of the coffee shop, smiling, and as he walks away, we see the sign on the window that says "Free Refills." Diane looks at the pictures in the flyer and questions the poses; John, ignoring her, tells a couple of women that he's the guy in the flyer and they begin to laugh. At Bob's office, Bob is crying, and tells Alice that he can hardly look at her. He goes through all the terrible things that could have happened; Alice comforts him and tells him that she's okay. He says he's a terrible therapist; she says he isn't. Alice thinks that he's sucked the pleasure out of the whole thing, but when she gets home, there's a surprise for her... At home, Alice is shocked to see white bread. Diane tells Alice and Mac that there will be one loaf, and one loaf only. They both bite into their sandwiches with gusto. In the hardware store, John is wearing sunglasses; Rosie, the cashier asks for his phone number, and he wonders why she'd want that? She tells him it's for the customer discount; he tells her that the flyer is just photos and he's the same guy he always was. After continuing to ignore what she's saying, John leaves without his purchases. Outside the store, a long-haired guy is asking people for signatures on a petition, John refuses to give an 'autograph' and begs to be left alone. In the kitchen, Alice is eating a white bread sandwich; Diane tells her that the second loaf is absolutely it. She then tells Alice that her face is starting to heal, and Alice is upset. She runs to the bathroom to check, then searches under the sink, where she finds some make up. Outside, Alice approaches Gus's ice cream stand; her eye is badly made up to look bruised. Gus gives her another ice cream, on the house, and a passer-by hands her some money. In the living room, the family is watching a program in which a tiger is eating a zebra. Alice is crying. and as she turns to her family, John asks what's on her face, and Mac tells her that there's black stuff all over her cheek. Diane suspiciously asks if she's putting make up on her bruises; Alice, thinking quickly, says that she attempted to use make up to make herself look less hideous. Diane immediately becomes sympathetic, telling Alice that she's beautiful, then suggests that some blush and mascara wouldn't hurt. Alice is glad to have avoided punishment, but the next morning when she comes downstairs, Diane tells her that she called a professional to help with Alice's make up: Finn. Outside, Alice is being laughed at as she walks down the street, looking ridiculous with too much blush and lipstick on. In a field, Nikolai is telling Mr. Mafouz to smile, as he holds up his prize winning gourd. John comes out of the house, and when he sees the flash of the camera, he drops the saw he was playing with and runs back into the house. The screen goes to four differently coloured shots of the gourd, like an Andy Warhol silkscreen.